Long Distance

Amelia1987

just wondering if anyone has ever been involved in a long distance relationship?and if it has worked out for them or anyone they know? i started seeing someone in work for 3 weeks right before he had to leave the country, and we really really connected. We had been working together for 6 months but I had been in another relationship for some of that time. When he left he visited friends in belguim for a month where i visited him for a week,and since then he has gone home to south america. Were both really in love with eachother, although were not in an official relationship as its going to be 4 months or so before we see eachother again and we dont want to put a title on it because we feel in reality, theres a strong chance it wont work out due to the distance. However he's already discussing plans for me to visit in summer and he's applying for a EU passport and is planning on coming back to dublin as soon as...i dont know if im delusional and its all wishful thinking or if theres something promising in our situation..im worried tho cuz since he's gone home its been very hard to stay in touch, we can't text eachother and the time difference is a big factor too

any advice would be great

LegacyUser

Hi op,

I've been in that situation, and it can be really difficult. I wouldnt go through another long distance relationship again. Like I said they can be incredibly tough, and it didnt end well.

I think it's good you didnt put a label on it yet. 3 weeks in an incredibly short amount of time. My advice would be just go with the flow and see what happens

prinz

Amelia1987 wrote: »

just wondering if anyone has ever been involved in a long distance relationship?and if it has worked out for them

Yes, did 3.5 years long distance. It worked out fine we got married last year. It can be done, word of warning though...

unregistered wrote: »

3 weeks in an incredibly short amount of time. My advice would be just go with the flow and see what happens

This. You have to be 100% sure that the distance thing is something you both are committed to making work. Otherwise it's just wasting time, money and effort.

MsHolloway

Hi op, I've had a long distance relationship - ended badly, put me off LDR for life I think. However I do know of one couple who did it for years and are now married, so they can work out very well!

Originally Posted by unregistered
3 weeks in an incredibly short amount of time. My advice would be just go with the flow and see what happens

Originally Posted by prinz
This. You have to be 100% sure that the distance thing is something you both are committed to making work. Otherwise it's just wasting time, money and effort.

While I agree with what you're saying prinz, its hard to be 100% sure after only 3 weeks of dating.

Part of me wants to tell you to hold back in case you get badly burned, while the other part, reading how deeply you feel for him, wants to tell you to just go for it and que sera sera

With any relationship, no one can tell you how it will all turn out - thats the risk we take everytime. And with long distance you have the extra pressures of it being.. well.. long distance, and its tough!

I'm not sure if I helped much or just added to the confusion, but best of luck op!

magneticimpulse

You mention EU Passport? Does this person need to be sponsered or married to live in the EU? Unfortunately I know lots of friends who have gotten engaged after a month for EU Nationality.

Long distance relationship...yes been there. Was ok for 1st 8 months, then after that was my worse nightmare ever. Even worse girls started to contact me to say they had slept with my ex.Being single now few months...and its been so much hassle free. Would never be in a long distance relationship again, it was soul distroying.

prinz

MsHolloway wrote: »

While I agree with what you're saying prinz, its hard to be 100% sure after only 3 weeks of dating.

Sorry, that's what I meant. I have doubts that after only three weeks the relationship could survive the distance unless it is unusually committed. If the OP has any niggling doubts whatsoever then it is better to end it as soon as possible tbh.

unattendedbag

Ive been having a long distance relationship for over 3 years now. And there is about 7000 miles between us. Aside from the expense we only get to see each other every 6 months or so and its only for about 2 weeks at a time. But we've made it work and will be getting married this summer. The next hurdle is then being seperated for a few months after the wedding while we wait for a visa.

To make a LDR work you both have to have the same comittment and also a direction or a plan to both work towards. So start discussing where the relationship will be heading towards and decide on a timeframe so you know roughly how long the the distance will last for.

Tchaikovsky

I was in almost the exact same situation as yourself, OP, 3 weeks together when we met, then 6 months until the next time we were together. Similar distance too (North America).
We were together for nearly 2 years; spent Christmases and summer together but our college situations meant that the relationship couldn't continue.
I have no regrets getting into the relationship, I have so many incredible memories from our time together and keeping it going for so long is something to be proud of.. but I wouldn't do it again
Best of luck with it!

Supercell

OP go for it, you'll forever have "what if" thoughts if you don't

My fiancée is in China and I wont see her again until September (have a month booked then and am saving for house deposit, wedding etc etc right now!).
Then won't see her until January when we get married.

We webcam every day, chat on the phone and message on qq (Chinese version of msn) all the time and love each-other as much as we ever did.

If its right then distance literally is not object, but it is hard emotionally. There are dark days I miss her so much its like a knot in my stomach, but she is the one and this time next year we will be married and waiting for her Irish visa to come through , so the end reward far outweighs the current long distance issues.

merlie

Well I was in a very close but long distant relationship for 6 years. He lives in England.
So in a sense it is not to bad but since the guy you want to see is in South America, that can be a bit awkward with all that ocean between! If you are planning to work at it and communicate every day, text each other, chat on webcams, do google talk or some other form of cheap or free telecommunication and send each other letters by post or photos and stuff, than it may survive. It will take a lot of work for both parties sides to keep this alive and well and if you and he can maintain that, then I do not see there being any issues. But bare in mind that,. all that cannot make up for being physically there and this can put a bit of a strain on any relationship. So therefore both of you have to be committed to making this work, while you wait to see each other.

I wish you all the best