Hot girl at work

LegacyUser

Perhaps I can get some advice although I think I already know what I need to do (or not do). There is a girl at work that I fancy beyond belief. I think she is amazingly hot and I fancy her so much I feel like my skin is tingling if I am near her. Unfortunately while we work on the same floor, we work at opposite ends of the floor. Also, our jobs are so completely different, we have no contact via work so I've no way of sussing her out. Because of the layout of our office too, just walking over to her desk and starting to talk to her is completely the worst thing I could do. She'd have no idea who I am and just with the atmosphere and everything, it's very weird.

Anyway I've been lusting after her for what seems like an eternity but never had any chance to even speak to her. The only time would be occasionally if I bumped into her at the tea station or something but you can tell how random that would be.

I had no idea of whether she was married or seeing someone until earlier today. I logged onto a dating website that I had been on sort out of boredom. I did a search and to my complete surprise, her profile was one of the first 4 or 5 that was returned. I could also see that she was online. My heart was racing and I didn't know whether to even check out her profile. I figured she might see that I had looked at it and seeing we work about 50 feet away from each other, that would be weird.

Anyway it turns out she's single. I find that amazing to believe as I think she's so hot and sexy.

However I don't think I should contact her. On the rare occasion when I walk past her or perhaps hold the door open as we both go through at the same time or something, she barely looks at me and seems to just look at the ground. I suppose if I'm honest I sometimes feel like she's maybe repulsed by me although we've never actually spoken so who knows.

I guess it also seems like a bad idea to message her seeing we work on the same floor and if she didn't reply or wasn't interested etc, it would seem weird - I have to walk past her desk every day to go to the toilet etc.

Am I right to just bite my tongue, not contact her and do nothing about it? Normally I don't care about girls not responding or whatever, but that's usually because I won't have to see them every day at work. But then there's a tiny voice almost drowned out saying "But you fancy her so much, now you know she's single, it's a case where you always complain the hot ones are taken, but this time she isn't, this is your chance".

What do you think? I'm really thinking it's probably a bad idea, but I have that stupid wee voice sort of telling me not to let the opportunity go. I have to admit I don't have a lot of self esteem and I'm about 17 stone so of course my immediate thought is "She will never be interested in a million years, this isn't some fantasy Hollywood film where the guy gets the girl" etc.

What should I do? Keep quiet and hope that I eventually stop fancying her? Or perhaps drop her a friendly email to break the ice now that we have something in common? Although if I do that, it would be incredibly awkward probably next week when I walk past her desk though. But now that I know she's definitely single, I'm worried my head might explode

Aghhhhh. Should I leave it or make a move?

NoQuarter

MrUnreg wrote: »

What should I do? Keep quiet and hope that I eventually stop fancying her? Or perhaps drop her a friendly email to break the ice now that we have something in common? Although if I do that, it would be incredibly awkward probably next week when I walk past her desk though. But now that I know she's definitely single, I'm worried my head might explode

Aghhhhh. Should I leave it or make a move?

Youll probably never stop fancying her, you have 2 choices: either do nothing and you will wonder for the rest of your life or else take the chance, embarassment possible, and youll always know what was meant to happen!

LegacyUser

I thought about it over and over since I posted my original mail and came to the decision that I'd be always wondering, so I just mailed her there now. No idea if she will reply or if it will lead anywhere, but I kept it light and playful so let's see how it goes.

legend365

I would have thought a ''random'' tea meeting would set-up an easy chattable opportunity!

By random i mean you tryna guess when she'll be there :P

krudler

Go for it, I fancied a girl I worked with, we wound up getting along and eventually dating, still together 3 years later

wasper

MrUnreg wrote: »

I thought about it over and over since I posted my original mail and came to the decision that I'd be always wondering, so I just mailed her there now. No idea if she will reply or if it will lead anywhere, but I kept it light and playful so let's see how it goes.

Just do something spontaneous like dropping to her office & making conversation & introduce yourself. She might surprise you with yes.

LegacyUser

I think I got my answer. She's read my mail and checked my profile but hasn't replied. Me thinks I'll be keeping a low profile at the office for the next while. At least now I can get my head straight and forget about it.

Thanks for the replies.

Mrs.O'C

Hi OP
I hope this works out for you...you are right to have emailed her. Life is too short to sit there wondering...let us know what happens. And if it doesn't turn out as planned, then at least you gave it a shot. Who knows...Good on you.:) Keep us posted

LegacyUser

Mrs.O'C wrote: »

Hi OP
I hope this works out for you...you are right to have emailed her. Life is too short to sit there wondering...let us know what happens. And if it doesn't turn out as planned, then at least you gave it a shot. Who knows...Good on you.:) Keep us posted

Thanks for this response, it really made me feel better. I felt a bit stupid after realising she read my message, read my profile but didn't reply but at least I can start the process now of forgetting that I ever even fancied her.

As things would have it, a different girl just got in touch with me and I suspect she may be on for meeting up and going out on a date. So hopefully the "as one door shuts, another opens" saying is true. As it seems pretty clear that other door has been shut firmly in my face.

Thanks again for the replies. I'll send on updates if there are any but at this point, I think I've got my answer.

paraguay99

You really didn't do yourself any favours by sending her an email instead of actually talking to her.

LegacyUser

paraguay99 wrote: »

You really didn't do yourself any favours by sending her an email instead of actually talking to her.

I see your point and understand what you are saying, unfortunately the setup at work makes that almost impossible

Chinafoot

paraguay99 wrote: »

You really didn't do yourself any favours by sending her an email instead of actually talking to her.

I'd kind of agree with this. The girl may also be mortified that someone in work knows she's on a dating website. No shame in it, but she might not want it known.

Also, she might not be interested in an office romance. If things don't work out it could get very messy.

You don't know anything about this girl apart from finding her sexually attractive. She could have the personality of a house plant or she could be a complete bitch. She might be a nice girl who doesn't fancy you. She could even be seeing someone else that she met online, seriously or casually.

She could even be planning to speak to you in work tomorrow. Or maybe she didn't have time to reply to you after reading your mail. There's loads of possible reasons you haven't had a reply.

Unless you actually speak to her you've no way of knowing.

theg81der

Maybe she just doesn`t know what to say and is gathering her response have a bit of patiences.

Are you sure she doesn`t think your lighthearted email was laughing at her....did you ask her anything to reply to? read your email again and see how you would take it if someone sent you it.

Maybe she`s shy, it could be anything, give it a couple of days before you go out with anyone else.

JonathanAnon

OP, I dont mean to be cruel on this but I'm gonna give my honest opinion. so please accept it for what it is. Firstly I agree with the above people. Contacting a girl over a dating website, who knows that you work with her, will be seen by her as being cowardly and probably a bit creepy.

Like you said life is not a hollywood movie, and we dont all end up marrying Julia Roberts. If you're not as "hot" as she is, and by your reference to yourself as being "about 17 stone" I assume that you dont consider yourself as "hot", the only way that you are gonna win her is with personality. Not through a one dimensional dating website where you are pretty much rated by your picture.

I think you made a mistake, but fk it, at the most it will be a bit embarrassing but that's as bad as it gets. Assuming that she doesnt respond, maybe you should just say to her (in person) and explain your actions on the dating website. She will appreciate your honesty and courage for doing so, at the very least.

Chinafoot

OP, can I ask what you actually said in the mail you sent her? You said you kept it light and playful but given your focus on her looks in your original post (I appreciate that you have nothing else to go on) it may have come across as a bit creepy. Particularly if you said something like "I can't believe you're single because you are so hot and sexy."

LegacyUser

I agree with others here. You should have talked to her instead of emailing her. Basically you showed her that you don't have the confidence to go up and talk to her, get to know her. You're on the periphery looking in, you see a girl, you think she looks nice and that's it. You might as well take a photo of her and create a shrine to her at home, because it looks like you're doing your best to admire her from afar and not interact with her.
To be honest, I think you're more afraid of her getting to know you. You're afraid of interacting with her in case she finds out 'you're not interesting'. Do you think you've nothing to offer? There's no point sitting at your desk thinking all these wonderful things to say, and then sending an email. This girl doesn't know that you'd been sitting at your desk agonising over what to say. All she sees is an email from a co worker who never talks to her, and if I were in her position I'd find it creepy- real 'night vision goggles' territory.
Talk to her and apologise for sending the email. Tell her you wanted to talk to her but never caught the right moment. At least you will be able to hold your head up high whenever you see her. Further down the line, try a second stab at asking her out. If she says yes, bingo. If she says no, move on safe in the knowledge that you did things the right way.

Good luck

LegacyUser

OP forget her, you screwed up emailing her, chalk it down to experience

Next time talk to her (eg when you open the door of office,
next time add a simple hello, then a how are you?, how is the work going down your end of the floor)
Then it builds a small form of repour, which you can build on, and then ask her out

Rather then an email "I like you will you go out with me" (ps I'm not a stalker even though this is very stalker like)

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

To be honest, I feel like a bit of an idiot now and I've been sort of beating myself up over it since yesterday and no doubt will continue to do so for a long time. I didn't ask her out or anything like that, I just sent a friendly, chatty mail is all. No sleaze, no innuendo, no saying that I liked her or anything like that at all. Just a bit of chit chat about the site and stuff like that.

I feel a bit sick about it now even though I don't think I did anything wrong or bad. It just seemed like the obvious way to break the ice as I never got the chance to speak to her any other way.

I'm going to keep my head low for the next while as I just feel so stupid now. I'm off for about two weeks from the end of next week so that should hopefully be enough time for it to fade a bit from memory. I hope anyway.

Mods, please lock this thread now, thanks.

LegacyUser

OP, email was a bad idea but don't stop there. I have used this a couple of times before, I don't care what people say about me but I was victorious and I was happy.

Get involved in something that requires you to get sponsorship, or any other excuse that will enable you to approach her desk. Would that work for you?

You keep admiring her from afar, you'll start imagining what she COULD be like. She could be a bitch, and if she is, or she turns you down, move on. I'm sure youre a good guy so just keep going.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

Mods, please lock this thread.