age difference too much?

LegacyUser

what are your views on age difference,i remember when i was 23 i dated an 17 year old,which i look back now was pretty stupid.

Zaph

Why was it stupid? Is it still an issue for you now? Age difference threads are a recurringtheme on RI, and everyone seems to have an opinion. Mine, for what it's worth and bearing in mind that I'm 18 years older than my girlfriend, is that as long as 1) both parties are over the age of consent; 2) both are at a similar point in life and have similar hopes and aspirations for the future; and 3) both are happy in the relationship and with the difference in ages, then the age gap doesn't matter at all.

vicecreamsundae

i pretty much agree with zaph.

it's not the difference in ages that i would worry about, but different stages of life.for example if one person had travelled lots, and had lots of dating experience, and the other person was just kind of starting out or finishing college age... that even though the younger person might feel like they like the older person so much that they don't want to do summers abroad or meet new people or go out with their friends, and would much rather spend cosy nights in with their older bf/gf.... and of course it's their choice, but i would feel bad if i felt that because of me the younger person was shying from opportunites they would later regret.

but if things are going well i wouldn't go looking for complications.

LegacyUser

thanks for replys,guess i worry too much,i woundnt date 17 year now since im alot older,but i guess its still legal in the eyes of consent law..

mobilecore

Zaph said it pefect.
more so with both are at a similar point in life and have similar hopes and aspirations for the future;

This and maturity levels are the two dangers from dating with a huge age gap. Say a 37 year old dates a 24 year old. Its possible the 37 year old would want to get married ... wants something serious. The 24 year old might not want that. Thats why when dating with an age gap both have to be on the same page.

there is nothing wrong with age gaps. Everyone is an adult. The only thing I would say thats a bad idea if a 19year old dates a 35 year old... thats different maturity levels right there. that wont work. No matter how mature the 19year old might seem.

17 and 23 is not an issue. Both in the same stage of life.

Supercell

There are no hard and fast rules, some people like to go on about half their age plus seven but thats just a convienient number.
I'm 39, my fiancee is 25, we couldnt be closer matched than peas in a pod. Its just right in every way but i have met other people her age and there is no way in a bajillion years that they would have been such a good match.
People are different, if you think she might be too young for you than she probably is, if not then maybe you are well matched (within reason - a 17 year old and a 70 year old may not be a great match!).