If you could re-write an ad...

smokingman

"Hi, Jim from ****** support here, how can I help"

"This 24 Meg broadband, do you have anything slower?"

"Oh I can assure you, we've plenty slower, have you tried our 24 Meg broadband?"

:pac:

bazmaiden

I'm sure they would love to re write this

NothingMan

Any cash for gold ads should be written as,

"Opportunist thief? Why not break into random houses and just steal any gold you can find. You can just put it in this handy freepost envelope and send it to our refinery where we will happily melt the evidence and pay you in cash! No questions asked! And don't forget our double G guarantee!If you can get a better price for your ill gotten jewellery anywhere else we'll pay you double! That's our double G guarantee."

alwaysadub

"Weak? Limp? Lifeless? No,not my hair but my husband. So i dumped him. Because im worth it"

drunkmonkey

iphone now available on Vodafone/o2*

*(KY Jelly sold separately)

DrumSteve

something blocking the sewerage? try senakot.

hidinginthebush

Bulmers pear - it helps you pooh

Blitzkrieger

smokingman wrote: »

"Hi, Jim from ****** support here

Is it just me or is Jim one creepy looking mofo? I mean, if you woke up to find yourself chained to a radiator and later found out he was behind it, could you really be surprised?

Owen

Hello Eircom support, Jim speaking. Hi Jim, a gremlin pulled out all my cables on my broadband. Have you tried the reset button? No you fscking moron, pushing the reset button isn't going to magically put all the cables in by themselves again, we're you even listening to a word I said you cretin?

Or the compensation one where she tripps on the plastic wrapping in a warehouse, sues her employer. "I got 7000 pounds, and the plastic wrapping ... that's sorted", should be "I got 7000 pounds, and the plastic wrapping ... that's sorted, and my boss ... he's looking for any excuse to fire me now that I've sued him for 7k".

alwaysadub

"Toyota, the best built cars in the world.... except for the brakes..and the accelerator..

DrumSteve

alwaysadub wrote: »

"Toyota, the best built cars in the world.... except for the brakes..and the accelerator..

The car in front is a toyota... so dont get too close in case the brakes **** up.

anniehoo

alwaysadub wrote: »

"Weak? Limp? Lifeless? No,not my hair but my husband. So i dumped him. Because im worth it"

Weak,limp,lifeless hair...wy aye..i do..but since ive superglued some fake russian hair, cut from a poor woman who grew it for 10yrs,i can now shake it all over the place and pretend this random shampoo is actually the secret! Im loaded so dont really care if im worth it.

*ad disclaimer-may or may not contain real hair.It was styled for 4hrs in a salon and photoshopped

Jesus Wept

No, I haven't, it's a fucking chair, gtfo.

orourkeda

At the end of every Harvey Norman ad there would be a machine gun going off in the background popping dozens of caps in Harvey's ass.

I'm not allowed to unfortunately

Nebit

does shooting the man who sings on channel 4 for the LG ads count as re-writing?? :mad::mad: that man annoys me so much!!

Happynappy

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

Is it just me or is Jim one creepy looking mofo? I mean, if you woke up to find yourself chained to a radiator and later found out he was behind it, could you really be surprised?

He'd have to be really skinny to fit in there

bazmaiden

Kildare village... pretend that you are shopping in Beverly Hills in the middle of muckville. The only thing more pretentious than the shops are the shoppers...loike

NoQuarter

I would rewrite:

We buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car,we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car,we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car, we buy any car,ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANYANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY.

To:

We buy any car. Any!

mikom

No need to rewrite this one...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCxZT_VdOaI

S C U M spells scum.

IvySlayer

GO COMPAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I'd make him sing it without pause until he pass out.

hal9000

Just For Men....Now with more Explosions and Kick-A$$!!!

How bout those razor blade company add where the guy talks to a mechanic about whats wrong with his razor...

Mechanic: Well you see lad you were trying to shave your self with and 8ft razor blade, your a bit dim arent you.?
Dubbed Dopey American Guy: How did I not spot that!