Floraphilia- should it be legal?

cantankerous

Hi there. Today i'm going to talk about a shocking and depraved perversion known as florophilia (a sexual attraction to plants).

Ok, so maybe it's not as bad as bestiality or paedophilia but is no-one else here shocked by the amount of societal acceptance of this mental illness?

For example one female collegue of mine recently admitted (albeit drunkenly) to regularly engaging in sex acts with all sort of plants, particularly cucumbers :eek:.

Sure, you don't have the animal cruelty argument, but you still have the evidence of a sick mind which is what counts.

Is it time we locked up these people to protect society?

Should we start looking into ways of curing them?

Fago!

The female collegue isn't weird, she's clearly just mad for large penis. And clearly the people she know's and work with have a lack off that.

Dunjohn

Down with this sort of thing.

Mike 1972

Atari Jaguar !

Fago!

Rabble rabble rabble

the keen edge

cantankerous wrote: »

Hi there. Today i'm going to talk about a shocking and depraved perversion known as florophilia (a sexual attraction to plants).

Ok, so maybe it's not as bad as bestiality or paedophilia but is no-one else here shocked by the amount of societal acceptance of this mental illness?

For example one female collegue of mine recently admitted (albeit drunkenly) to regularly engaging in sex acts with all sort of plants, particularly cucumbers :eek:.

Sure, you don't have the animal cruelty argument, but you still have the evidence of a sick mind which is what counts.

Is it time we locked up these people to protect society?

Should we start looking into ways of curing them?

I had a affair with pineapple once, it left me heartbroken and in need of medical attention. I have since moved on, although the incontinence is here to stay:o

xw2lj9uspm1eyh

I thought this thread was going to be about the sexual attraction to the margarine .

galwayrush

Pansies?

congo_90

cantankerous wrote: »

Hi there. Today i'm going to talk about a shocking and depraved perversion known as florophilia (a sexual attraction to plants).

Ok, so maybe it's not as bad as bestiality or paedophilia but is no-one else here shocked by the amount of societal acceptance of this mental illness?

For example one female collegue of mine recently admitted (albeit drunkenly) to regularly engaging in sex acts with all sort of plants, particularly cucumbers :eek:.

Sure, you don't have the animal cruelty argument, but you still have the evidence of a sick mind which is what counts.

Is it time we locked up these people to protect society?

Should we start looking into ways of curing them?

Pics or GTFO Seriously...

Rented Mule

mendusa wrote: »

I thought this thread was going to be about the sexual attraction to the margarine .

Ahhhhhh ...the mystery and the majesty of the margerine.

Dunjohn

Personally, I think the talking wheat strand in the McVities ad is smokin'.

Dudess

Weed need to gard(en) society from this depravity - I don't think we can fully grassp the seriousness of it. Anyone who argues against that can just shrub...

captainjack

They took our jobs!!

stellarartois

Class thread, YEAH BOY!

Minstrel27

cantankerous wrote: »

Hi there. Today i'm going to talk about a shocking and depraved perversion known as florophilia (a sexual attraction to plants).

Ok, so maybe it's not as bad as bestiality or paedophilia but is no-one else here shocked by the amount of societal acceptance of this mental illness?

For example one female collegue of mine recently admitted (albeit drunkenly) to regularly engaging in sex acts with all sort of plants, particularly cucumbers :eek:.

Sure, you don't have the animal cruelty argument, but you still have the evidence of a sick mind which is what counts.

Is it time we locked up these people to protect society?

Should we start looking into ways of curing them?

LOL. That is all.

AnonoBoy

Dudess wrote: »

Weed need to gard(en) society from this depravity - I don't think we can fully grassp the seriousness of it. Anyone who argues against that can just shrub...

Awful. Truly awful. I love it!


Speaking from my own experience I had a fling a few years back with a cauliflower. I was a bit green back then and even though it was never really a salad relationship I radish the memories to this day.

Ruu_Old

Dudess wrote: »

Weed need to gard(en) society from this depravity - I don't think we can fully grassp the seriousness of it. Anyone who argues against that can just shrub...

Ouch, that stings!

Bolag_the_2nd

cantankerous wrote: »

Hi there. Today i'm going to talk about a shocking and depraved perversion known as florophilia (a sexual attraction to plants).

Ok, so maybe it's not as bad as bestiality or paedophilia but is no-one else here shocked by the amount of societal acceptance of this mental illness?

For example one female collegue of mine recently admitted (albeit drunkenly) to regularly engaging in sex acts with all sort of plants, particularly cucumbers :eek:.

Sure, you don't have the animal cruelty argument, but you still have the evidence of a sick mind which is what counts.

Is it time we locked up these people to protect society?

Should we start looking into ways of curing them?

why would anyone admit to this, i'll never enjoy the humble cucumber again, (as in eat that is)

GirlOfGlass

cantankerous wrote: »

Hi there. Today i'm going to talk about a shocking and depraved perversion known as florophilia (a sexual attraction to plants).

Ok, so maybe it's not as bad as bestiality or paedophilia but is no-one else here shocked by the amount of societal acceptance of this mental illness?

For example one female collegue of mine recently admitted (albeit drunkenly) to regularly engaging in sex acts with all sort of plants, particularly cucumbers :eek:.

Sure, you don't have the animal cruelty argument, but you still have the evidence of a sick mind which is what counts.

Is it time we locked up these people to protect society?

Should we start looking into ways of curing them?

Haaahahaha, that's ****ed up! But sure, let them do whatever they want with their plants behind closed doors.

Dudess

Ruu wrote: »

Ouch, that stings!

You've some nectar criticise my post like that! :mad:

AnonoBoy

Dudess wrote: »

You've some nectar criticise my post like that! :mad:

Just take it easy. Lettuce all be calm.

Thomas828

I'm just crazy about Daisy, I cry a lot for Violet, I wouldn't marry for gold, but I will go for Marigold. And I'm not even mentioning Rosie, Got a whole lotta Rosie!!!

Formal shorts

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Just take it easy. Lettuce all be calm.

How can I be calm when I'm so angry from my head tomato :mad:

bonerm

Dudess wrote: »

Weed need to gard(en) society from this depravity - I don't think we can fully grassp the seriousness of it. Anyone who argues against that can just shrub...

I'm certainly lichen this effort.

Dudess

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Just take it easy. Lettuce all be calm.

That's true - if we are to sucseed in weeding out these perverts...

Canard

The problem seems to root itself in all these horrible puns. :pac:

m@cc@

It's not floraphilia, it's faunacation. It's odd how thyme and again these stories crop up. I think the problem stems from childhood. Maybe it's a sign of the fushcia.

galwayrush

Every rose has a thorn.:o

Formal shorts

Patchy~ wrote: »

The problem seems to root itself in all these horrible puns. :pac:

Don't make light of the issue, vegetables are getting graped here!

galwayrush

Seriously, does birching count? i mean is it really wrong? Just asking.....:pac:

Jev/N

epic plant pun


/thread

super_furry

Curing them? I don't think you could.

You can pickle them though.

Mrmoe

I am going to grasp the nettle and state that it is not just women who are afflicted by this, men too, now there is a nice little chestnut for you.

Formal shorts

Mrmoe wrote: »

I am going to grasp the nettle and state that it is not just women who are afflicted by this, men too, now there is a nice little chestnut for you.

I was wondering when you'd turnip.

You're not wrong though, it affects both sexes. My friend Chris and his mother both suffer. I could tell you a story or two about Chrysandthemum.

pickarooney

Subject too broad: punfinder returns too many results.

bonerm

bonerm wrote: »

I'm certainly lichen this effort.

Lichen are symbiotic fungi not a plant.
Check and Mate.

jd007

Thread tags added.

c-note

http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/77056_treewithbigass.jpg