Some date advice please!

LegacyUser

I have had a pretty bad run of things on the dating front seemed to attract a parade of total *winners* but have recently met a lovely guy. Have totally held back and let him do the chasing. So far have been on 3 or 4 lovely dates. Just wondering how long I should play miss cool. Do I start initiating dates etc at this point? Don't want to scare him by being over eager but equally want him to know I am interested and like him.

S23

Cut the bull**** game playing and just be yourself. If you want to meet him on a given night then ask him. He'll ask someo of the time you will ask sometimes. Its not up to one person to initiate every single time.

He obviously likes you so far. I never get the whole 'what tactics should I play to not scare him off' routine. If you have to act differently to the person you are to keep him intersted then you're not meant to be anyway. Just cut the messing and let your hair down and then what happens will happen.

G-Money

I agree with the previous poster. I can't stand this "acting cool" mentality, if you like him, make sure he knows. As a guy it's so frustrating when you are into a girl and have let her know and she just comes across like she's not that bothered. If I were him, I'd be seriously thinking about whether I should continue to see you or just cut you loose and move onto someone else. It makes me feel like an idiot if I think I'm chasing a girl and she's not really interested in me.

I've seen posts on here before from girls who admitted to playing it cool with a guy but who then start complaining/are heartbroken that the guy seems to lose interest and moves on. No guy worth his salt and with a smidgen of self esteem is going to keep chasing a girl endlessly if she seems uninterested.

Don't get me wrong. I understand at the start of a relationship, people have to take things slowly and you don't want to come on too strong. But playing it cool is probably the worst thing you can do. It just sends all the wrong signals to the guy - basically that he's wasting his time and he should go after another girl, asap.

I know that's what I'd be thinking. If I were in his shoes, your number wouldn't be far off from being deleted.

I'm not having a go at you. It's just frustrating when girls act like they aren't interested and then start complaining that the guy lost interest and moved on. What else would a reasonable person expect to happen?

LegacyUser

Soph2010 wrote: »

I have had a pretty bad run of things on the dating front seemed to attract a parade of total *winners* but have recently met a lovely guy. Have totally held back and let him do the chasing. So far have been on 3 or 4 lovely dates. Just wondering how long I should play miss cool. Do I start initiating dates etc at this point? Don't want to scare him by being over eager but equally want him to know I am interested and like him.

I can totally understand why you would want to play it cool. From my own experience, I've found that if you show a guy you're interested, he suddenly forgets your phone number! And when you're messed around like that, you're not likely to show new guys that you're interested in them, for fear of being made a fool of once again!

If you're not comfortable initiating dates just yet, that's your prerogative. In the meantime, you can show you like him by being very attentive on the dates he asks you out on, thanking him for taking you out etc. If he's as nice as you say he is, he'll be understanding of your reticence when it comes to organising dates.

gavney1

OP, i agree with Grandmaster

"Acting Cool" isn't going to make him more interested. It might make him a bit worried about whether you like him or not. If you play it too cool, you will just come off as uninterested and possibly stuck-up. He will eventually lose interest.

Remember, guys have feelings too! We don't want to invest time and emotional energy in a girl who doesn't like us back