Can't seem to get over brake up!

irishdub74

Hi all,
I was just looking for some advice i guess, my girlfriend broke up with me last May but i can't seem to get over her,it's like i hit a brick wall - we where going out for 6 months and saw each other a lot spent the weekends together etc i think we where each others first real loves even though we are both in our early 30's,
She was the one that told me she loved me first and she would repeatly say that it was the happiest period of her life, but when we broke up she said she couldn't love me as much as i loved her.. I tried everything i could to get back with her, but in the end she servered all contact and wont even answer a text at this stage.
The problem is i still love her as much now as i did back then i have no idea if she is with someone else but i don't think she is.. I think she does still love me.. But should i give up completely or go without contacting her live i have been doing for a while and see what happens?
Any help would be appericated thanks!!!!

Taltos

Op - for your own sake you need to let her go.
I know you don't want to be reading this or even contemplate it - but you are now apart longer than you were together. The more you circle this lost love and butt your head against that wall the deeper you will get yourself into a place that is not nice - not nice or friendly.

Let her go. Don't send any more texts, notes, emails, anything. Just stop.

I'm not going to give you any of that you never know crap. Because by now you do - but you cannot accept it. Losing a love is never easy - but you just gotta try and keep trying.

Maybe you have already tried to keep busy - but you maybe need to keep yourself occupied. Train yourself to think of something else when your thoughts drift - do something - whether it is snapping an elastic band or reciting Shakespeare - just do something mate.

It will take time - it might take a year or two or more - but you need to keep working on moving past this.

irishdub74

Thank you for your reply Taltos, and i know your right, and i try my best every day to do that i haven't contacted her in ages because i don't want to annoy her, i just never felt so connected with anyone in my life and the sadness that comes from not being able to be with her is the hardest thing i ever faced.. I go to work do all the usual things but i don't think i'm the same person anymore. Maybe thats what love does to you..
I will never hate or regret the time we had together but it just makes me sad that no matter where i am i know she's only a couple of hours away from me but there is nothing i can do about it...

Taltos

irishdub74 wrote: »

i just never felt so connected with anyone in my life and the sadness that comes from not being able to be with her is the hardest thing i ever faced..

I know it will not help - but I felt the same yrs ago.
But - 4 yrs later I got together with someone who was right under my nose and who I all but ignored the whole time as I was so wrapped up in what I was missing.

I didn't do the whole get out there and pick someone up thing - didn't think I needed to. I have seen advice from others here suggesting that - and while it is not me - it might have worked. Instead I moped around - and after a while those feelings in my case did turn to anger...

Look breaking this down - if she loved you she would want to be with you - not cause you pain by staying away... Focus on that - there is no chance of this working or it would have - you need to get on with your life. Yes you are no longer the same person - but that is good - we all change and every time we let someone into our lives we change a bit more.
If your body can replace every single cell in your body in 4 mts - then you are almost definitely not the same person - in reality you are not the same person she broke up with. Build on that. Get stronger and learn to enjoy life again - what did you do before she came along?
> books / movies / walks / hikes / clubs / soccer / loads.....