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Broken up

  • 02-03-2010 5:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Okay I was going out with my gf for 4-5 months, we broke up for a month and have now been back together for a while.

    I just found out that she had a very drunken one night stand, they did use a condom, but she says she was so drunk she "snapped" outa her drunken state in the middle of it and left the guy.

    I never asked her if she'd been with anyone else in between. Now wev been having sex for a while and only cause I developed a small bump on my shaft I finally asked her. Im getting a check up tommorow

    I am kinda wrecked after this, before we did anything we had both been checked originally. I am upset she didnt tell me but also that I didnt ask. Should she have told me or should I have asked? Both?

    I know lots of people will say most people have one night stands but I guess Iv lost some trust in her. condoms cant protect against everything and in that drunken state who knows if it was used right. Also because we where so carefull originally makes it worse


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey op.I am really sorry about your worry :( she should have told you if she knew the condom broke or of she didnt use one.She put your health at risk.Have you told her about the bump is so you should tell her to get checked to! And when all clear for both of you dont hold the having sex with someone against her.If you care about her that part you can get over. If you cant trust her then you should not stay with her because it will never work out.Trust is the most vital part of a relationship. I hope you are well and best of luck tomorrow. But don't have sex with her again till she has all cleared herself to.I would be hundred percent on that.You weren't at liberty to ask her if she had sex with someone else she should have told you when the need was there with a condom breaking.
    Best of luck and hope all works out for you but don't let her having sex with some one else ruin relationship.


  • #3
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    You mean she had a one night stand while you were broken up?

    I don't think she should've told you or you should've asked necessarily. In general everyone has sexual histories, and these sort of questioning leads to unnecessary jealousy more than anything else.

    A bump on the shaft does not equal an STD. Go to your check up tomo, and then i'd put it behind you.


  • #4
    omahaid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭omahaid


    If she had gotten regularly checked herself then I don't think she had to tell you. If she wasn't checked then she should have mentioned it.


  • #5
    Uriel.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,062 ✭✭✭Uriel.


    omahaid wrote: »
    If she had gotten regularly checked herself then I don't think she had to tell you. If she wasn't checked then she should have mentioned it.

    She may not have displayed any symptoms. Unless symptoms are present, for example, from HPV, there is no way to test for it, so should could not have known.

    The OP doesn't state whether or not she did get checked after this incident.

    She may have got a full screening and given the all clear... but as said no test for HPV without visible symptoms.

    The OP didn't say that the condom broke either... In fact he says one was used and then goes on to speculate if it was correctly due to alcohol being involved.

    The girl in question has not done anything wrong.


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