Drugs

LegacyUser

Mods feel free to move this to the correct forum.
Myself and my wife have just found out that 2 of our sons friends are smoking hash, as well as getting stuff from the head shop. We have noticed a slight change in our son (he's 15) nothing too drastic, it could be hormones.
We have tried talking to him and he says he's not "doing anything" and in some ways we beleive him. My issue is is there somewhere that we can get a urine sample done in private without the local GP knowing.
Any help would be greatful

taram

You could go to another GP in an area not local to you? That way you'll have a definite clinical result rather than perhaps buying a kit on the internet that's a waste of money. However, make sure it's not an all or nothing test, otherwise if your son has been exposed to second hand smoke that it'll come up positive. Either way, maybe talk to him first before you bring him somewhere? He might feel prosectuted otherwise and clam up telling you things. Personally I had friends at that age who smoked hash and drank frequently, and I just never joined in.

Toots

As Taram said, you can go to another GP who's not local. If you look in the phone book, find a few, then ring around, you'll find some that will do drug testing.

TBH, I'd be reluctant to go down this route unless you really strongly suspect he is at it. Even then, I'd be reluctant to do it unless he's becoming very troublesome. If he's saying he's not doing it, then unless you have evidence to the contrary (other than a bit of a change in him, he's 15, there's a lot happening to him right now) taking him for a drugs test is going to show that you have no trust in him, and could make him less likely to approach you if he needs help with something in the future.

Signs he's been smoking it would be if he comes home smelling of smoke/weed (although that can also happen if others around him are smoking it), if he comes home with bloodshot eyes and very dialated pupils, or if he comes home and literally eats anything in sight. If you've smoked it yourself, you'll probably recognise it straight away, but if you've never smoked it could be harder to tell than if he was drunk.

The 'change in personality' thing is not always an accurate way to tell if your kid is on drugs. I know a lot of people who smoked a good bit when we were teens and there wasn't a change in their personality, and their parents were never the wiser. I dabbled in it a bit myself, and my mum knew straight away. She'd tried it herself in her youth, so when I came in stoned she knew damn well what I had been up to and would just sorta smile knowingly while I rang the Chinese and ate about 5 sandwiches while waiting for it to arrive. My Dad never touched drugs in his life and had no idea.

She chatted to me about it once, just asked me had I ever tried it, and I was upfront and said I had smoked a few times. She said she didn't like me doing it, and asked me to promise her that I'd never buy it, never have it in the house, and only do it the odd time. She also told me about her experiences with it. I really appreciated her talking to me about it, it made me feel like an adult and that she respected me enough to talk about it rather than going mad and grounding me or the like. I think if she'd gone and taken me to the GP for a drug test, it would have really affected our relationship, and I would have been very slow to confide in her, or ask for advice.

Sorry for the really long post, I just think that at this stage, dragging him off to the doc for a test would probably do more harm than good. Have you thought about what you would do if you tested him and it came back positive? The best thing you can do is to educate him about it. Maybe see is there some sort of drug awareness course that they can do in school - that would benefit everyone. Or you could see if you could get another GP to chat to your son about the side effects etc of weed.

we'llallhavetea_old

just echoing toots here, i wouldn't bring him to the doc and make him produce a urine sample for testing. this could destroy your relationship with him and make him reluctant to confide in you about anything.
if he is smoking hash, you will know, just look out for the above signs and also don't forget, the giggles are another side effect.
personally i wouldn't be too upset if he was stoned the very odd time, kids will experiment, but if it was a regular occurance, then i would become more active about it.

Oisinjm

I'm 17, plenty of my friends do the odd bit of hash or stuff from the headshop. I'm not in a bad crowd at all. Maybe one or two have them have changed, gotten lazier etc. but to be honest they were already on that road anyway. If I was you I'd be more worried about pills, yokes even drink. They have a much more detrimental effect on your health.

The stupid stuff I've done while drinking. Never done anything too bad having smoked a bit.

Just thought I'd give you the other side of the story.