Can't dance but don't want to seem like a total bore to a girl I want to ask out

Leprekaun

Hi. Something that has been making really nervous is asking a girl out. We've hung out a few times and I like her. She suggested one time about heading out to a local club but as I felt I'd just embarrass myself, I told her to maybe leave it for another time.

The reason being is that I've never properly danced before (lived abroad for a good few years where going to clubs isn't the norm) but I don't want to give her the impression that I'm no fun so what should I do? I told her once in passing that I'm a terrible dancer in the hope that I won't hype myself up but I don't wanna make myself look like a bore. There is even more pressure because her dad is a performing artist so she surely learnt a few things from him :S.

blaz

Unless you are planning to take this girl out for ballroom dancing you really shouldn't worry.

Did it ever happen to you that you were doing the dishes and some nice song came on the radio and you started to hop around? Dancing in a club isn't much different then that. There are no rules how to move or what to do, just listen to the music and enjoy yourself.

Try it at home, put on some nice dance music and listen to it. Move whatever way you feel fits the music.

LegacyUser

If you are self conscious about your dancing its not somethign you are going to get over by reading something anyone posts on here.

How about you ask her to go do something else. A noisy nightclub isn't an ideal first date either. Take her somewhere where you can chat. You could for something to eat. Doesn't have to be a fancy restaurant could be any pizza/pasta bar or cafe bar. You could have a drink after and work from there. As you get to know her more you will relax more

weiland79

I would say that on any given night in any club around the country you would be hard pressed to find very many 'Good' dancers.I for one am sh*te but the trick is really not to worry about it and try and enjoy yourself.If it makes you feel any better a girl asked me last week in a club what i was doing with my hands?unfortunatly i was trying to dance,but you just have to laugh it off.We can't all be good at everything can we?
Of course if the girl really likes you she won't care one way or the other anyway.There is a saying that i can only remember half of at the moment that say's "Dance like no one is watching" and you'll have a ball.

ztoical

Hey OP,

I really wouldn't get worked up about...you're just going to stress yourself even more. The key is to just not care if your dancing is bad, just go out and enjoy yourself, girls are more impressed with someone going out, being themselves and having fun then someone whose an amazing dancer. Use it as an excuse for her to hold you to show you how to move with her. You don't need to do ballet or anything here just move along to the music even if all you do is bob your head to the beat, if she's a really good dancer she'll either drag you along and you just follow or else just just bob along let her dance up against you either way you win

spurious

You could always ask her to go to salsa classes with you. You'd both (hopefully) be at the same beginner level. It's fun and you get to hold her close.

Leprekaun

planbmaybe wrote: »

If you are self conscious about your dancing its not somethign you are going to get over by reading something anyone posts on here.

How about you ask her to go do something else. A noisy nightclub isn't an ideal first date either. Take her somewhere where you can chat. You could for something to eat. Doesn't have to be a fancy restaurant could be any pizza/pasta bar or cafe bar. You could have a drink after and work from there. As you get to know her more you will relax more

Yeah, I was considering going out for dinner first. We've went out before but as friends rather than dating.

Its just I'm very self conscious so its hard for me to not to worry about what others might be thinking but more so that if I seem like a total tool dancing, she'll think I'm some idiot full of himself or just really bad. Also, I know a lot of people say they don't mean anything but I heard on some program that something like 80% of women judge a man's confidence in bed based on their dancing so I hope she's of the other 20% because I'm pretty sure I'd be terrible (at dancing that is )

I do agree though with the thing of not caring what others think and just enjoying it. It just depends on the person/people I'm with like I could do silly things with my friends but when it comes to people I don't know that well or haven't known for long, I turn into some sort of monk being very quiet and just not all that exciting so I'm worried I'll choke real bad. She seems pretty intelligent and understanding so I'm hoping that she'll laugh it off.

First step, ofcourse, is asking her out so need to get by that one first before I move on to anything else

Holda

Hi OP.

My OH will tell you that he's not the best dancer and not confident about it. This means that often if at a club I either stay with him all night or have to leave him to dance, often the second option if we're with friends. However, when he is persuaded to dance, he's great, if a little bit shy. Have you ever seen a silent disco? Everyone looks nuts, very few are good dancers. You have nothing to worry about it. And besides if the girl's anything like me she'll know that you're shy and be delighted that you've made the extra effort for her. Plus, it's adorable.

Leprekaun

Cheers Holda!

Yeah, I am hoping for the whole adorable thing but I'm just worried that she'll feel embarrassed and think to herself that she doesn't want to be associated with me. I mean, I've only known her for a month so the understanding side of it might go out the window.

Leprekaun

We went out in the end. It went well

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Good to hear OP Happy for ya...

Just to add, I cannot dance to save my life, but I still try a little, just for the craic. Thing is, unless you try to breakdance or something crazy, nobody else on the dance floor will care how you dance. I guarantee you are not as bad as you think you are.

Great thing about dancing is that there is no right way or wrong way, you just dance what you feel.

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

Dancing is about having fun and enjoying the music, not about having some fantastic routine. I'd say I look daft when I go out most of the times I end up on the dance floor all night and I have this insufferable habit of closing my eyes when i'm dancing. But do you know what I love every minute of it, i'm enjoying my night and not hurting anyone so who cares. You should focus more on enjoying yourself and what makes you feel happy, we are not here for other peoples entertainment. Glad your date went well.