Materialistic sisters-in-law

LegacyUser

I have 4 sisters-in-law, and the 4 of them are in serious competition as to who has the most stuff, biggest house, smartest children, nicest car etc etc etc.
I cant stand 1 of them, another is bearable and the other 2 are okay. But all they can talk about when there's a family get together is material things
"we're going to spain for a week in June"
"we're getting a new car in March"
"we're going to get another horse for the kids"
"we're putting a 52 inch tv in the new sitting room, along with a new suite"
"we're changing all the blinds around the house" (house 2 years old ffs)
"i wouldnt buy anything in Lidl"
"I got my hair done in Peter Marks, wouldnt go anywhere else"

I've heard every one of these and many many more

And the competition as to who can bring in the nicest cake and nicest sambos. Recently had a bit of a do in the house for my mams 1st anniversary, and it was like a competition as to who can bring the best stuff. I just wanted to cry, they are all absolutely painful to listen to. And my 4 brothers seem oblivious.
Dont know what to say, I dread seeing them coming in, because its all "me me me"

daisybelle2008

It is funny that all 4 of your brothers chose very materialistic women. Not getting all freud on you but is your mother like that?
Are you married yourself? Not sure why it would be a problem for you unless you are in their company a lot. If you are maybe you all should spend some time apart and find other interests.

LegacyUser

Not married, mother wasnt like that at all.
It doesnt get me down, just infuriates me when i have to listen to this shít when they're all around at a family event, when there's no getting away from it for a couple of hours.

Phlann

annoyed brother wrote: »

And the competition as to who can bring in the nicest cake and nicest sambos. Recently had a bit of a do in the house for my mams 1st anniversary, and it was like a competition as to who can bring the best stuff.

Nice cake, nice sambos... you're not seeing the big picture, buddy. You can use this competitiveness to your advantage.

Just sit back and eat their nice cake and nice sambos knowing all the while that they're feeding somebody who can't stand them.

PopUp

I don't want to sound insensitive. I'd say your mother's first anniversary was pretty tough and having to deal with four people you neither like nor respect on that sort of an occasion is the last thing you want.

But.

You need to have a bit of perspective here. These women sound boring as hell but in the grand scheme of things and particularly on the scale of awful in-laws, this is seriously no big deal. They aren't hurting you or your family. These are the people your brothers love and chose to marry (and be honest now, I'd say odds are at least one or two of your brothers equals their materialism, perhaps in different ways... bragging about professional success, golf, or whatever - just as shallow but in a different way, and because you know them so long you overlook or excuse it a bit more).

Eat their cake, chat to your brothers, play with your nieces and nephews. Draw the two wives you like best into conversations about stuff you like, and wander off when the chat turns to shopping or interior design. Incidentally I'd say part of the reason all they talk about is home and children is because that's all they have in common. So talk to the bearable ones about stuff they like as individuals.

We all have relatives who drive us up the wall but when they are just annoying, and not causing actual harm, dwelling on their faults is totally unproductive. It will just mean you notice every little thing more and they will start to get to you more. It's hard, especially on family occasions which are already emotional and you just want to relax, but really you need to accept that this is the way they are, they have these faults but they are your family nevertheless and you cannot change them.

I am very sorry about your mum. I'm sure the past few months with her anniversary and before that the first Christmas without her must have been tough on all of you. It must have magnified everybody's faults a lot. It will get easier to overlook the materialistic stuff I think when things aren't so difficult.

If it helps, I think some people, especially very home-y types, try to compensate or soothe people with food and domestic stuff during tough times like bereavement. That may be where the competitive cooking is coming from in part.

Just try to look on the bright side - lots of great food for you to enjoy! - and not torture yourself with all their flaws. Because it's only going to wind you up - they are not going to change.

StillWaters

Can't top previous poster, excellent advice. You get 4 sister in laws together, its darwinian, they will be competitive.

At my Mam's 1st anniversary, I remember just wanting to tell people to f*ck off out of the house, the anger I felt was so raw.

Do you have a partner OP?

LegacyUser

It's a product of Celtic Tiger Ireland.....

To be honest, they're not doing you a whole lot of harm, so try and tune them out. They could be a hell of a lot more considerate, but unfortunately, that's people. Maybe they simply have nothing else to talk about.....do any of them work?

Should tell them that those who are really wealthy rarely talk about themselves or their possessions....those who want to be perceived as wealthy never stop talking about themselves and possessions......

And men do tend to be oblivious to these things.

helimachoptor

This is something that grates on my nerves so much, especially at the moment people are lucky to have anything!!

A couple of years ago it was my Gfs godsons party. Anyway his cousin was over and they were playing. So the father of the godson says something like "oh he's able to put sentences together" but this was in response to a question someone asked him, the cousins father immediately jumps in and is like "oh my kid can do XYZ, and do it 10 times better than your child" (they around the same age) fcuking twat!!

LegacyUser

I used to let that type of stuff bother me.

For the last 10 years I heard friends talk about their new mobile phones, brand new cars and new kitchens and wide screen tvs. I;d sit there feeling like an alien in their company - since when was such crassness considered acceptable, I'd ask myself.... I think that in reality, they just had and have nothing else to talk about.

Anyway, i just realised how lucky I am to have other things to talk about - movies, music, politics, culture, my hobby and how unfortunate they are to be so index linked (and boring). I try to hang around with people who share the same values as me - and other friends of mine who are also wealthy never speak about it - it's not an issue.

One benefit of the recession is not having to listen to people talking about how expensive the shoes/bag they have are or how much they spent on a pair of jeans.

fasty

Rise above all of that nonsense! You've had a rant about it now so let it go, it's out of your system. What the hell else can you do? If you try to show her up or let it get to you, then you're the one with the bigger problem!

deisemum

OP just ignore them and enjoy their food.

With me it's materialistic sisters. I'm the eldest of 9 and have 7 sisters. 4 of my sisters are so materialistic and have spent the last decade competing with each other over all sorts of things from furniture to how many holidays they take to the number of properties they each have. Some have several properties and loved nothing better than lord it over those of us with just one house.

Thing is it's the younger ones that are this way. I think the older ones grew up knowing what a recession was. At least I have paid off my mortgage and don't owe anyone anything.


I think there are two types of materialistic people, the fur coat and no knickers types that are insecure in themselves and to feel better about themselves they try to out do others in their circle even getting into debt to put on this front and then there are the ostentatious vulgar types who bore the you know whats out of people.