Can someone be without emotion?

LegacyUser

I'm 27 at the moment. I'm not ugly and I am not fantastic looking, but not bad, do ok.

At this stage of my life, I am the only one of my friends who has not been in, or is not in a good relationship.

I like the thought of being with someone who understands me etc etc
But it has never happend. And I have never made it happen. I can pull, can get my satisfaction but I read here, and hear it from friends, that sex with someone that you love is incomparable.

But I like my single lifestyle. There have been times when, had I pursued it, that I'm sure that I could have had a relationsip. But I haven't really felt the urge and I honestly think it's because I'm too bloody lazy. I went out with a girl for 2 months before and my head was wrecked because I had to arrange to meet her at the weekend, and sure maybe I didn't want to go out, or maybe I wanted to go somewhere else.

When I think of having a girl, I just like the thought of lying across the couch, saying damn all, but just feeling cimfortable.
But I'm not gonna go out with someone just for the sake of it. Maybe I'm missing some great sex,as opposed to one night stands, and maybe I'm missing 'training'

But I just dont bloody know, dont wanna be alone all the time but want a hell of a lot of my own space at the same time. I know I'm not a bad lad, try to be nice to everyone, and really like the idea of a girlfriend, but just dont see it happening.

My mates seem to think that I'll meet one girl that will change all that but it hasn't happened yet and I am sceptical.

Maybe I'm just ranting here, actually i am, I am saying that all I want is a lot of space. But I would like a woman who understands me. But, being me, I'm not willing to change all that much. You are who you are and all that.

Am I being unrealistic in thinking that I will run into someone, or do I need to change myself (in which case maybe I'm not me) and go find someone...?

Angus Og

"sex with someone that you love is incomparable"

I agree with that. The fact is, when you love someone, you can't really continue that single life. It just isn't a realistic expectation. But maybe you just haven't met that person who makes you see life differently. I don't know if you can be too lazy. Usually love takes hold and you don't have a choice in the matter.

I think you just haven't met the right one, and that might be the way it is for a while. Then again, you might meet her tomorrow. Don't put yourself under too much pressure to have what your friends have. It doesn't work like that.

cafecolour

If you've been single for a while, it's easy to get stuck in the 'habit' of being single. As you've indicated, wanting your space, but also not having to consider anyone else in your plans at any point.

I think a large part of it is meeting the right girl - obviously you don't want to be a relationship just for a relationship's sake.

However you've got to watch yourself that you're giving people a fair shake. It becomes easy, when you're used to being single especially, to come up with excuses to stop seeing people quickly - ie that they'll be 'too much trouble' or deciding that you are incompatible over very little things.

force majeure

First off all you need to ask yourself if you have the experience to deal with you current status, do you for example see yourself being able to accommodate a girl when things are getting rough, by this I mean putting yourself out for her sake. If you cant see yourself wanting to change you single life status to this level then your not ready for a girlfriends at a serious level... the bachelor life awaits. Any way your young you have plenty time to sort out a life partner just do not rush in for the sake off it.

PS
Emotion is something we all learn, when you first find your going in to stone cold mode its due to lack off understanding as to what you do next, the day well come when you well know exactly how to deal with it.

The Corinthian

Angus Og wrote: »

I agree with that. The fact is, when you love someone, you can't really continue that single life. It just isn't a realistic expectation. But maybe you just haven't met that person who makes you see life differently. I don't know if you can be too lazy. Usually love takes hold and you don't have a choice in the matter.

Best sex I ever had was with someone I didn't love. Worst sex I ever had was with someone I didn't love. Sex with someone I loved fell somewhere in-between those.

It's nice to have, but let's not exaggerate.

The OP is already in 'relationships', with family, friends, workmates and so on. That he needs to be in a 'committed relationship' because it will somehow fulfil him is a complete myth. He doesn't.

There are practical reasons for a relationship however, and these should not be confused with any higher purpose. Children is an obvious one, as is financial security (in some cases) or that someone will take care of you as you grow older (in other cases). Heath-wise men are better off in a relationship - I suspect, because of the last reason.

OP, you're emotional, just you have no particular reason to be strongly emotional. Maybe you'll find Miss Right and maybe you won't. Either way I wouldn't worry about it as long as you are surrounded by people who love you without having to buy into the whole rom-com BS.