Tips on getting over your Ex

Green Gooner

I think I have to admit I dont think I'm over my ex even though our relationship ended some three-and-a-half-years-ago :mad: I still think about her every day but I wouldnt feel really sad. Is that natural?

A little bit about the background. We were going out for 14 months but were virtually going out 2 months before it was official. And we effectively lived together. It was my one (and only to date) serious relationship. It ended because of me I would admit. I was difficult to be with because of poor mental health.

Since. Well unfortunately my poor mental health continued for some time. This could well be why I even think about her. Is it because I've too much time on my hands? Thankfully (health wise) I would say I'm better now than then but still find myself dreading ever bumping into her in the street, in a shop.....not so much in a club (although preferebly not)

So does anyone have any tips on how to get over her? Perhaps it's because I haven't been with anyone in a steady way since. Or maybe it's because I haven't been intimate with anyone since and she was my first
Would that be a reason?

Thanks for reading.

Sharpshooter

Moved from After Hours.

I hope you get some answers here OP.

vicecreamsundae

do you talk about that relationship much, with friends/family or a professional? because if you haven't, doing so would probably help.

when you say you don't think you are over her, do you mean you feel like your memories of that relationship are preventing you from getting into another relationship or meeting somebody new?

i think it's totally normal to think of somebody who was important in your life, even on a daily basis. I often think of exes/old friends etc. Sometimes fondly, sometimes not so much, but people cross my mind all the time, though i wouldnt say i dwell on any of them.

i'm not sure if things ended on really bad terms, but maybe you could get in touch and suggest lunch, if you think talking about what happened would give you some closure, or even just to ease the anxiety of running into her on the street. but depending on how things ended, maybe meeting up isn't the best idea. i would talk to someone [friends who knew her and your r'ship, or a profesh] and see what they think maybe.

Apart from all that, I think the best way to get over someone is to meet some new people, so get out there and take up a hobby or join some clubs etc!

Green Gooner

First of all, thanks for taking the time to read. Re: your questions

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

do you talk about that relationship much, with friends/family or a professional? because if you haven't, doing so would probably help.

I have talked about it to all three. I would feel uncomfortable talking about it with my family again after quite some time.

I would bring her name up now and again to my best friend but we wouldnt really talk about our relationship as I talk about it a lot during the break-up months after

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

when you say you don't think you are over her, do you mean you feel like your memories of that relationship are preventing you from getting into another relationship or meeting somebody new?

No. Funnily enough I cant really say whether the memories are good or bad :eek:

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

i think it's totally normal to think of somebody who was important in your life, even on a daily basis. I often think of exes/old friends etc. Sometimes fondly, sometimes not so much, but people cross my mind all the time, though i wouldnt say i dwell on any of them.

i'm not sure if things ended on really bad terms, but maybe you could get in touch and suggest lunch, if you think talking about what happened would give you some closure, or even just to ease the anxiety of running into her on the street. but depending on how things ended, maybe meeting up isn't the best idea. i would talk to someone [friends who knew her and your r'ship, or a profesh] and see what they think maybe.

Apart from all that, I think the best way to get over someone is to meet some new people, so get out there and take up a hobby or join some clubs etc!

Its been sooooo long since it ended and tbh I am embarassed that I'm not really over her yet. We haven't keep in contact at all.....we really only kept in contact for around 2 months after it finished and even at that, she was sending some nasty texts which is hardly keepeing in contact. The very last bit of contact I got (if you want to call it that) was a friend request I recieved off her on a social networking site some 3 years ago (which was around NINE months after we finished) I rejected the request.......although mysteriously, two of her friends, whom I never really got on with requested me a few days apart from one another Then one night (out around a year ago) one of her friends that requeste me give me a hug and wished me Christmas Greetings as if we were best friends!!!!

Overall I just want to forget about her and I suppose the best way to do that is finf someone else perhaps.