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Attracted to friend

  • 18-02-2010 1:04am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I won't go into a whole lot of detail, but basically the story is I've been getting more and more attracted to a friend of mine. He's well tanned, which i really like, he's slim, which I really like, and i'm around him more often now which is causing a problem. Today he split something on his shirt, and got a change of top and changed right in front of me. So now that i've actually seen what's underneath i'm much worse. He's tanned, and toned but not all muscles, which is perfect for me.

    I do this every so often though - get extremely interested in someone and cant stop thinking about them. And it's usually something that can never be pursued. My previous interest was my lecturer in my last year of college, though that was only because he seemed to like me, I didn't really fancy him. But I just got obsessed with it, thinking about it all the time. And now what's inappropriate about this is... he's my friend, and my ex's friend. He was in college with the two of us and knows us both. So i'm pretty sure that even if he did like me nothing would ever happen.

    So my question is how the hell to get this stuff out of my head. After seeing him without the top on, i just can't stop thinking about it. And I know I have to.


Comments

  • #2
    Angus Og
    Closed Accounts Posts: 401 ✭✭Angus Og


    You'll find it hard to get him out of your head if you keep hanging around with him. If you want him out, no more moments together, it's that simple.

    Honestly though, what's wrong with liking him? Your ex doesn't really have a say in the matter, and maybe this guy was happy to let you see him change because he wants you, too.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Angus Og wrote: »
    You'll find it hard to get him out of your head if you keep hanging around with him. If you want him out, no more moments together, it's that simple.

    Honestly though, what's wrong with liking him? Your ex doesn't really have a say in the matter, and maybe this guy was happy to let you see him change because he wants you, too.

    Do you think he could?? Would a guy be a lot more comfortable doing that around someone he likes? The only thing is I think he thinks me and my ex are still together (as we're kinda unsure ourselves as to what we're doing, we haven't really told anyone). I'm so confused about a lot of things at the moment this is really just adding to it all. I can easily enough avoid being around him. except then I have his Facebook picture to remind me.... :( Do you not think guys are iffy about the whole friends ex thing? I would've assumed a lot of guys wouldn't even go there


  • #4
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    damn it wrote: »
    Do you think he could?? Would a guy be a lot more comfortable doing that around someone he likes? The only thing is I think he thinks me and my ex are still together (as we're kinda unsure ourselves as to what we're doing, we haven't really told anyone). I'm so confused about a lot of things at the moment this is really just adding to it all. I can easily enough avoid being around him. except then I have his Facebook picture to remind me.... :( Do you not think guys are iffy about the whole friends ex thing? I would've assumed a lot of guys wouldn't even go there
    This depends on the break up and the people involved. If it was a good while ago and your friend has no feelings towords him anymore (and vice versa) then its fair game. If a mate of mine told me that he was seeing an ex of mine i wouldn't give a flying fúck because its not my business and more importantly, i dont have any feelings for any ex.
    And now what's inappropriate about this is... he's my friend, and my ex's friend.
    So what if he's your friend?! I never understood this attitude. You are attracted to someone, you like them and want to give things a go but you don't want to "risk the frienship" or something. It's not a good thing to think like that because you're cutting yourself off from something that could possibly make you both very happy. And if it doens't work out no worries. you'll be friends if its strong enough.

    You're friend being his ex makes things a little more complicated but like i said above she shouldn't matter. They broke up. They're mates now too so if they can manage that without problem then chances are there's no feelings other than that between them.

    So the only real problem is where you an your own ex stand. You need to sort this out before you go and try things with anyone new. It wouldn't exactly be fair on any new bloke if you were still interested in an ex because those situations dont end well.


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