What's normal for a twenty-something male?

LegacyUser

Basically am in a relationship for a few months now, both in early twenties and both living at home. I'm not a bad looking girl, was hit on by quite a lot of his friends before we began going out, and he always says he thinks I'm goodlooking.
The thing is that when his parents go away I would have presumed that he would jump at the chance to get me to come over and to spend some proper time together, you know. I always see threads here where the men are complaining that they're only getting it once or twice a month, but I find it very odd that his parents go away only about this amount and half the time he doesn't invite me over and says he's just having night after night in relaxing.
It's not that I haven't stayed over at his, and it's not that he isn't experienced, because he is. I suppose the question is whether it's odd for a twenty something guy not to jump at the chance to take advantage of an empty house, because surely he gets frustrated after not doing anything besides kissing for a few weeks or even a month? And for couples where both members live at home, how often is it normal to get some?

Nervous Wreck

Tbh, although it could be anything, it sounds a little odd to me. I have little advice to offer other than talk to him about it and try find out what he's thinking. With my last gf, we both lived at home and we had sex 5-ish nights a week.... Good luck OP. Talk to your boyfriend.

aidan24326

lonelygirl22 wrote: »

I suppose the question is whether it's odd for a twenty something guy not to jump at the chance to take advantage of an empty house?

It is a bit odd, though as Nervous Wreck said there could be any reason for it so no point jumping to conclusions. You'll need to talk to him about it, suggest that you'd like sex/imtimacy a bit more often and would like to avail of the opportunity to have sexy time together whenever it arises, seen as opportunities are limited as it is. If he still seems less than interested that would indeed be quite odd for a lad his age. Perhaps he masturbates alot and that's why he doesn't get as frustrated as you imagine he should be? Hard to know though without asking him.

LegacyUser

Thanks so much for the replies guys. I suppose it's not the lack of sex that's getting me down, it's just that I'm starting to not feel desirable. With my last boyfriend it was a presumption that any night we'd go out we'd stay at his (he didn't live at home though), and he was the one who'd always invite me back and really want me to come.

He's definitely not cheating or anything, it's just I wanted to know would a normal guy not normally jump at this chance, or how does it work. I would have thought that most guys would choose sex over relaxing by themselves?

Liam Byrne

lonelygirl22 wrote: »

I wanted to know would a normal guy not normally jump at this chance, or how does it work. I would have thought that most guys would choose sex over relaxing by themselves?

Sounds very stereotypical, tbh, and slightly sexist.

Have you ever preferred a quiet night in with your own company or a book to sex ? Would you expect him to feel "undesirable" if you did, or would you view that as unreasonable ?

If so, why should he be different ?

And there is no "normal for a twenty-something male" - it's not like everyone is wired the same.

Personally, it'd depend on a multitude of things which I'd choose, and it could vary any week or even night.

LegacyUser

lonelygirl22 wrote: »

Basically am in a relationship for a few months now, both in early twenties and both living at home. I'm not a bad looking girl, was hit on by quite a lot of his friends before we began going out, and he always says he thinks I'm goodlooking.
The thing is that when his parents go away I would have presumed that he would jump at the chance to get me to come over and to spend some proper time together, you know. I always see threads here where the men are complaining that they're only getting it once or twice a month, but I find it very odd that his parents go away only about this amount and half the time he doesn't invite me over and says he's just having night after night in relaxing.
It's not that I haven't stayed over at his, and it's not that he isn't experienced, because he is. I suppose the question is whether it's odd for a twenty something guy not to jump at the chance to take advantage of an empty house, because surely he gets frustrated after not doing anything besides kissing for a few weeks or even a month? And for couples where both members live at home, how often is it normal to get some?

Maybe his parents have said to him that he's not to bring his girlfriend home while they're away, and he respects their wishes which would make him a very decent, respectable sort of man i.e. a keeper!
If he's treating you well in every other way, I wouldn't read anything bad into him not asking you over.

fend

Maybe he just wants to chill out?

I know when my parents head off for a night or two, i kind of like just having the place to myself...

I wouldn't take it to heart OP... If he didn't like you, he wouldn't be with you! Sometimes, some alone time is hard to get!