Friends with ....

shoes34

on reading other posts here I couldn't find a answer to my query - boyfriend and I broke up, and have been texting and last week we both said that we missed having sex and then I almost drove to where he was the following evening and he told me he also asked me to so we were texting at the weekend and he told me he missed the intimacy but wasn't able for a relationship ( now I am guessing that me he just doesn't want one with me!!!) and we discussed for the night about meeting for sex so the following night he texted and asked me did I have any condoms in the house (which I did) and then a while later he texted again and he arrived down, now I thought he was in the pub on coming over then but no there was no drink involved for either of us and in the end we had one of the best nights I ever had with him and it was fabulous and I suppose with all our sexting and talk of what we wanted to do for each other it definately was worth it but I now I don't know what to do - I'm not sure I want a relationship with him again either and he said he doesn't want one but the sex was fantastic and I would definately do it again - but I don't know what to do at the same time (if you understand what I mean).

Kiera

I think a lot of people have one last shag "for the road", so to speak. And yes its usually amazing. I wouldnt read anything into it. Neither of you want a relationship so just chalk it down to sex with an ex and dont let it wreck your head.

shoes34

but it wasn't the one last shag and we a few weeks after we broke up we met up and spent the night together as well.

Kiera

Do you want something from this or are you happy to walk away?

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

In your first post it sounded like you were happy to have a fun night of sex with an ex. In your second post you sound very Carrie Bradshaw when Big is wrecking her head (don't get me wrong I'm not slagging, I love SiTC). Anyway my point is that you don't sound as comfortable with a f*ckbuddy situation as you would actually like to be. My advice would be to figure out what you want, 1) friends with benefits or 2) a relationship. You say you don't want a relationship but I wonder if you do and just don't want to admit it to him. If you decide that you defo don't want to be in a relationship then sure be his f*ckbuddy if you want but please be aware that it won't lead to a relationship, in fact, I've never heard of f*ckbuddies turning into a couple. I think your head is all over the place because he's an ex and for the life of me I can't see how having sex with an ex can be good for your mental health, maybe I'm just old fashioned though. Sounds to me like you just need to step backwards and figure out what you want.

ash23

FWB is fine.
FWB with an ex is a disaster waiting to happen.

If you can accept that he likes you enough to have sex with you, but doesn't like you enough to actually date you then go ahead.

You went from girlfriend to casual shag a.k.a tension release.

I don't mind being someones FB or FWB but not if I've been demoted to that position.

Liam Byrne

I don't want to do a grammar police on it, but that entire post was one sentence, and I had to read it 3 times to get any sense out of it at all! And I still don't have it 100% after that.

That would lead me to think that you're pretty young, OP ?

If so, you need to think about what you want :

a) to be single and carefree (and maybe have amazing sex with someone else)
b) to have the fallback of an FWB (assuming you can handle the "demotion")
c) to be free to meet someone else (and maybe have an even better relationship and better sex because there's an emotional connection there too)

It all comes down to what you want, can handle, and what compromises you can make.

Also, there's nothing wrong with running with it for a while and enjoying it until something potentially better comes along - that's the other side of "no relationship/no commitment".

But if you want "more" from it, get out now.