I feel down again and don't know what to do...

LegacyUser

Hi,

Going unreg for this. Would love to hear some opinions if you don't mind taking the time to read what is probably gonna be a long post....

2.5 years ago (I was 19 - I'm 21 now) I went to the doc after feeling really low for a couple of years - I thought/was hoping it was just hormones etc.

Anyway, blurted out how unhappy I was to my GP (was visiting for another physical reason) and she recommended a psychotherapist to me - she said she wouldn't like to go prescribe me medication so young.

Went to the psychotherapist for 6 months - came out feeling a lot better - learned lots about myself/methods to cope etc. Felt great.
However, in the last year I've found myself slipping back into my old ways of thinking. I have thought about going back to the therapist, even for a "check-up"-type session, but can't bring myself to do it. I know she'll prob advise me to start doing regular sessions again, but it was just so much hard work I can't face the thoughts of it. Plus, I finish college in May and have plans set in stone for travelling so I don't want to have to cancel them as it's all that's keeping me going in college...

I'm wondering should I go back to GP? I really don't want to go through therapy again - does anyone have experience like this? I am considering asking the GP for medication but I guess I don't have the guts - it seems a huge step and I'm afraid I might be overreacting. Also, talking about it to her all over again gives me a headache just thinking about it. But I'm an emotional wreck at the minute - can't stop crying, and I feel a lot of resentment towards others - I think I'm starting to push family and friends away because I just can't shake this mood I'm in and I'm just fed up talking about it...

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble but I'd really appreciate your opinions - especially if you've been trhough anything like this... thanks in advance

LegacyUser

you should go see your GP

i know its horrible talking about these things(I've been there sitting in the GP's office crying, snot running down my face etc) but you know its the best thing you can do. Explain that your concern about travelling, therapy and medication. There are tonnes of options for you so don't feel like you're not in control.

Call your GP and make the appointment.

irishh_bob

what_2_do wrote: »

Hi,

Going unreg for this. Would love to hear some opinions if you don't mind taking the time to read what is probably gonna be a long post....

2.5 years ago (I was 19 - I'm 21 now) I went to the doc after feeling really low for a couple of years - I thought/was hoping it was just hormones etc.

Anyway, blurted out how unhappy I was to my GP (was visiting for another physical reason) and she recommended a psychotherapist to me - she said she wouldn't like to go prescribe me medication so young.

Went to the psychotherapist for 6 months - came out feeling a lot better - learned lots about myself/methods to cope etc. Felt great.
However, in the last year I've found myself slipping back into my old ways of thinking. I have thought about going back to the therapist, even for a "check-up"-type session, but can't bring myself to do it. I know she'll prob advise me to start doing regular sessions again, but it was just so much hard work I can't face the thoughts of it. Plus, I finish college in May and have plans set in stone for travelling so I don't want to have to cancel them as it's all that's keeping me going in college...

I'm wondering should I go back to GP? I really don't want to go through therapy again - does anyone have experience like this? I am considering asking the GP for medication but I guess I don't have the guts - it seems a huge step and I'm afraid I might be overreacting. Also, talking about it to her all over again gives me a headache just thinking about it. But I'm an emotional wreck at the minute - can't stop crying, and I feel a lot of resentment towards others - I think I'm starting to push family and friends away because I just can't shake this mood I'm in and I'm just fed up talking about it...

Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble but I'd really appreciate your opinions - especially if you've been trhough anything like this... thanks in advance

go travelling and forget the therapy , seriously , as someone who suffered a breakdown over ten years ago and who went on meds and saw shrinks , both are highly over rated , ultimatley , we have to pick ourselves up and move forward , you could spend years popping prozac or lieing on couches and be no better off , thinking too much is not a good thing and therapists just keep on digging

skooterblue

Hi OP,
There is no shame in asking the GP for medication. Please go back to him. once college is over then see what you want to do. Medication doesn't have to affect travel. How much worse would it be to be sick away from home. It would be much better if you had your medication sorted out here before you went traveling.

The sooner you talk to your GP or your college GP the better.

LegacyUser

Thank you so much for your replies - they mean a lot right now.

I can see it from both points of view - therapy didn't help me in the long run, but not doing anything about it isn't going to help me either... which is still my predicament...

Although the fact that I'm travelling alone could mean I could feel even worse - just because I'm in a different country doesn't mean my issues will go away I suppose - although I'm hoping a change of weather/scenery/culture will help.

I have made an appointment with the college GP for next week about something unrelated to this - I think I will say something then. Or I'll try, if the tears will allow haha! hellothere23 described exactly what i remember the first time around
However it was my GP at home that I dealt with before... I'll see what the college doc says anyway. I can't face going back to the college counsellor though - tried talking to one of them before I went to my GP initially but didn't feel comfortable at all.

Once again it's just that I'm so fed up talking about it but what you said skooterblue said struck a chord - it's all very well feeling like this a few miles from home, but when I'm on my own thousands of miles away I might feel a lot worse...

skooterblue

"What do you mean you are traveling on your own ?!?!?! Even the nuns travel in pairs these days!" Something, someone said in a film or tv show some time ago.

I suffer from Anxiety. My current doc is like my big brother, its just a matter of finding the right one. My old GP at home forgot he was a doctor when he heard the till ringing. Ca-Ching NEXT!!!! Cipramil has completely changed my life and my sisters. It is cheap and easy to get and generic. Dont believe you need the most newest meds, some of the older ones work just as well.

I thought I was smarter than everyone else. I went to abroad a while back and decided I could do it on my own. There is nothing worse than being in a big city with no back up plan. Then I got an anxiety attack in a night club and had to find my way back to my hotel in a large strange city. I didnt have the option to travel with friends cos they were all broke. I wish I had a friend with me that night.

I think you should plan to go (buy books, do research). Dont commit (financially) until you are sure. It could be just clinical depression and can be sorted out easily with the right brand of pills.

When you are choosing travel partners be careful they wont dump you when the going gets and when you are a bit low they wont let you be low and kick you out of bed. Fun people will often run out when the going get tough or you need a pick up. Loads of people are taking medication just they are too ashamed to say it. Good luck with the college GP. Dont worry if she seems to deal with the problem too fast, they are seeing this problem every day and most of it is clinical. If you get a prescription ask the chemist what percentage are anti depressants, it will shock you.

One of the things that helped me the most when I was deal with it initially was information. When you have spare time read up about it and plan around it. Try the cipramil site for better understanding.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice skooterblue.

Some of my friends think I'm mad going alone, but the ones who have travelled themselves are saying I'd be mad if I didn't. It must have been horrible having the attack on your own like that... initally I intended going with a friend, we had booked flights and all and paid our deposit, but she backed out on me (I should have known she was unreliable before we booked it!). I had already sorted a loan and everything and decided to go for it anyway. It is a J-1 so I will only be away in the States for 4 months so I don't think I should be too lonely or anything... I have already paid for it all so there's no going back now. None of my other college friends can afford it so the way I figure, it's now or never. I have a job lined up when I come back and I really want a break/bit of travelling before I start into the working world.

I will def talk to the GP next week - I want to get this sorted before I leave for the US - thanks for your help

LegacyUser

I wouldn't recommend travelling alone in this state... I feel that we bring our problems abroad with us. I went to the US last year on my own- had fun for a few months but my mental illness crept up on me.

I personally wouldn't recommend anti-depressants. Talk therapy and spiritual (not religious) has changed my life forever. I was between Citrol (Cipramil), Effexor and Zispin for about 4 years but they were a nightmare (starting at age 17). Yes they did work for a few months and life seemed wonderful but if they stop working, it's terrifying to be relying on meds. My speech went slurred, I went spaced out and became slutty for some reason and that's not in my nature! Effexor made me really hyper and talking really loudly. Remember that meds are not magic- you'll have bad days on them too. I'm really happy for those who enjoy being on Citrol for the long-term but I wish I had gotten decent talk therapy when I was put on them . I had gone to different counselors over 5 years and none helped me but finally FINALLY found a great counseling centre.

Don't give up the hope!!