Picking my bridesmaids

kizzabel

I have decided on 3 bridesmaids.

Im going to ask my 16 year old niece as we're very close but im finding it hard to pick the other 2. I have a big gang of friends and dont want to upset anyone but im not having 12 bridesmaids either!!!

i find we go through phases of being best buds and then not being on the same planet (with work and relationships meaning we dont get to make time to see eachother)

so im reckoning i will ask my childrens godmothers (one my best friend from school and the other my best friend from college) but how do i not hurt the other girls feelings? i know we wont fall out over it but its hard not to when people have misconceptions about whats going to happen....

am i stressing for no reason?

also when should i ask them? we've decided on an april 2012 wedding.
TIA

Ickle Magoo

Do you mean you have decided on numbers and now have to pick the people to fit that?

If one is an obvious choice and you are struggling to pick others that stand out from your group of friends, why not just have the one?

seamus

I'm with Ickle Magoo here - why have you decided that you need 3 without actually picking anyone?

If you're going to go ahead with it, I would suggest that you have logic behind your choices that doesn't exclude anyone. If you have two children and two godmothers, then that sounds like a logical choice - nobody will be able to say, "Why didn't she pick me?" if you tell everyone that you're picking your childrens' godmothers.

I would strongly suggest that you pick them ASAP and make it public ASAP. If you leave it a long time, then people start guessing and making assumptions about who's going to be picked, and feathers will be ruffled when they don't get picked. Nip any speculation in the bud

kizzabel

ive decided i would like to have 3 bridesmaids. sorry for the confusion

Dee_animallover

I was in the same boat a while ago - I have only one sister and h2b has only one sister, but I really wanted my friend too as I was her bridesmaid and since we were young we always said to each other that we would be each others bm. But she has no sisters.
So after much deliberation I decided to just stick with my sis and sis-in-law2B, told my friend and she understood completely plus now she may not even be going (wedding abroad)

I think it would be nice if you just had your niece?

kizzabel

sorry guys, that was the reason behind my number> two godmothers, having my niece involved is important to me aswel so thats why the number is three.

Dee_animallover

Well then just stick with those 3 - honestly if your friends start getting upset about it that would be very childish.

Ickle Magoo

kizzabel wrote: »

ive decided i would like to have 3 bridesmaids. sorry for the confusion

If the three you mention are the obvious choice then I don't think anyone can/will be offended (or they shouldn't be!). If they are not obvious and you think others may be offended it might be better to use some other kind of set criterion as Seamus has suggested.

Best of luck

kizzabel

thanks lads,
going to get the girls together with a bottle of wine over the weekend

amdublin

I am sure none of them will care.

Afterall you have 12 friends, I am sure they understand that you can't have 12 bridesmaids so are prepared that some (most) of them won't be asked.

mand26

Im also having 3 bridesmaids, my sister, husband to be's sister and a friend, I have 2 really close pals since i was a kid but to be honest they are both single and have no interest in weddings etc, the friend i did pick is great and organised and really wants to be involved, i did feel so guilty about not picking the other two cos i do love them to bits, so i just sat them both down and explained that i couldnt pick between them and then asked them to do readings and i think/hope that they are ok with this, they are still involved even thou they arent bridesmaids, and i still ask their advice on the little things to make them feel included, even though im sure they dont care! but atleast i am involving them!! We tend to build these things up a bit in our heads but i think the best thing to do is be honest, you obviously arent going to have 12 bridesmaids, so if you let them know that it was a difficult decision and you arent leaving anyone out on purpose they will understand - they are your friends afterall