Sister

lilyrose

Ok here's my problem, at my last meeting with my social worker I was informed that I had an older half sister who was also placed for adoption. I was told that she was in contact with her agency and contact had been made with our birthmother and my birthmother had told the social worker about me, who then passed on medical information to me- which was great but when I asked my then social worker about making contact with both my birth mother and half sister I was told that I would basically have to wait and that at that time my half sister didn't know I existed.
This was last June and since then my social worker has left and as far as I know no other social worker has been assigned. When I sent an email to the agency I recieved a not very pleasant response from the nun in charge basically saying she doesn't have a clue what's happening.

Anyway sorry for rambling, just wondering if there is anyway I could trace myself I looked at the trace guides but I don't have my birthmothers name or my half sisters I do know her year of birth but is it possible to trace just with that?

kathy finn

hi lilyrose,
im so sorry to hear how ur been treated by ur agency,but it,s not uncommon. write a letter of complaint to the adoption board explaining how u ar being treated by the agency i did that and got a reponse pretty quick from my agency.
of course u can do a search, firstly u need ur own birthcert which will give ur mothers name from their u can find ur sisters birthcert. good luck and don,t give up ....kathy

The_Conductor

Hi Lillyrose- as Kathy has said- once you have your own original birthcert- its simple to get your older sisters, and from there- you can use the various methods detailed in the traceguides here to further your hunt for your sister.

If you'd like any suggestions feel free to ask here.

Shane

lilyrose

ok so I went up to he research room today and spent 4 hours trawling through the books my problem was I found about 16 possible matches but seeing as I don't know what my original name was I was kind of stuck.
There was two that had the same maiden name as surname so I managed to convince myself that my birthmother hardley put down my birthfathers surname as they weren't together and I got the two birthcerts but had to rule them out then.

I really feel like given up I'm nowhere near finding it and I don't have a clue to narrow it down any further.

The_Conductor

Write off to the agency who handled your adoption requesting 'non-identifying information'. It should detail among other things- your first name, what part of the country your mother was from, a brief medical history (if one was given) and sundry information. Use this to narrow down to your own birth certificate- note: make sure you go through all of the books, even the hand written entries, and you are looking solely for entries where the mother's surname is the same as the child's. You can automatically discount the other ones.

Depending on when exactly you were adopted- on any given day in the mid 1970s- there could have been as many as 70 children given up for adoption- if you only got two surname matches, I'd suggest going through the books again- once you have your first name. Also- don't just hunt for your firstname- look for any possible derivatives of it eg. Catherine = Kate, Mary = Maire etc etc (and vice versa).

I know how frustrating it is- you do need to try to get a little background info to help though, if possible.

Note: when you get your non-identifying information- it may not be accurate- until you collaborate it elsewhere, use it as helpful, but unproven.

lilyrose

Thanks Shane , but I have recieved my non identifying info but they didn't tell me my original name.

kathy finn

hi lilyrose,
did they tell u which part of the country u where born in, that should narrow it down.
can i ask u which agency your dealing with.....kathy

lilyrose

Hi Kathy yea I was told I was born in Dublin so that still leaves a possible 14 or so possibilities- I'm dealing with st. Patricks guild but my half sister is dealing with another agency- I don't know which one though but I know her social worker is Anne beirne.
It's all a bit messy

lynsalot

Hi Lilyrose,
I've no idea how you've gotten on since you last left a message and I'm sure you're not still curious but I've found this page through a google search and I know Ann Beirne because she's my social worker. She works in Cunamh in St Anne St in D2.

Anyway I'm looking for my birth father very unsuccessfully and Ann's a fantastic lady so thought it might help....

The_Conductor

It all depends- personally I've had dealings with Ann Beirne- and despite the fact that I've managed to find my birthmum (with no assistance whatsoever from Cunamh) and I know that they have my birthfather's name on file- they will not attempt to contact him or divulge any information without contacting my birthmum first- and she has indicated that under no circumstances whatsoever will she talk to them. As for talking to me- its on her terms, very rarely, initiated by her and certain topics are entirely off the agenda- so no information there either. It really can be a case of damned if you do, and damned if you don't........

Definitely contact them- but don't expect them to open up their records and give you whatever information you'd like- unfortunately its a slow and tortuous process.......

lilyrose

Hi to be honest I'm still no further on .. I have managed to get both my bm and sisters birth Certs and I have exchanged a letter with my birth mum but unfortunately that's where it ends.

I sent my letter to my bm nearly a year ago and haven't received a reply and my half sister was informed about me almost 8 months ago to which I received a very enthusiastic email from Sr. Francis saying that I should expect a letter in the next week or two but received nothing.

I haven't had any dealings with Anne beirne but she doesnt seem to be doing much ... Sr. Francis has left everything up to her and is merely a go between.