Work situation - I feel like I've lost all my confidence

LegacyUser

I'm really confused right now so bear with me... going unreg for this as a few people know me on here and this is work related.

I studied Media in college and graduated this year with a 2:1. Previous to this I'd taken two years out and worked in Advertising Sales which I really enjoyed, I felt I'd found something I was good at. During this time I also did some writing for a company in the UK and worked over there for a few months with a small publishing company.

I started doing interviews for jobs during my exams in college because I really really needed to have a job asap. See I did the college thing on my own, and just about got through it, but by the time my Graduation came by I had a 12k loan over my head. I went for mostly advertising sales jobs as I'd 5 years exp on my CV in that field. In the end I got an interview for a newspaper, it was originally for an 'Advertising Sales Executive', however after 2 interviews they advised me that they were changing the role and thought it would suit me better. The new role meant that I'd be in key account management - liaising with both Agency and Direct Clients regarding advertising and sponsorship deals, however my key objectives were still pretty vague. I was told that it was my job to make the role my own and that it would be tailored to suit me and my abilities. In my most recent review, when I was made permanent, I was told my role would be going down the client services route - so it would be 50% client services and 50% sales. Basically it meant that I'd be going to Agency clients who hadn't advertised in a while and educating them on the brand, however the Agency staff still held those accounts and any revenue went to them.

The situation now is that a guy was let go on the Direct side of things a few months ago, and in the past while I've ended up basically doing direct sales 24/7. I loved this job when I got it because of the prospects and the excitement of the role...but now it feels like I've lost any means to progress. I know that when they take more direct staff on again I'll be back in my role, but at the same time I'm still not convinced that they know exactly what that role is; and if they don't know how the hell am I meant to know?! It's also been really difficult since I started as everyone in here was really wary of me as they were never informed about my role.

I was enjoying myself here up until Christmas, but since then I've just been put under serious pressure to get money in on the direct side of things and it just doesn't seem fair considering it wasn't my original role. I didn't hit my target last month for the first time in ages and it's really worrying me. I know I'm lucky to have a job, but I'm really not happy, and when I'm not happy in work it seriously affects me - it's the reason I've never stayed in a job I didn't enjoy. I think it's come to a head today because I fecked up in here yesterday, it was a small mistake but it was the first time my boss has ever really been that annoyed at me, we usually get on really well. I'm annoyed at myself over it too, it was a silly mistake that was easily amended, but one that shouldn't have happened.

So lately I've found I'm wondering what the hell it is I want to do, I mean I thought this was it; I thought I'd stay in advertising and work my way up. All through school/college I wanted to be a Journalist, but I don't think I wanted it enough, you know? I wasn't prepared to take the pay that went with it, I couldn't - not with these loans over my head. Plus, it's not the easiest thing to get in to either, you need to really work at it and I didn't - I took the easy way out and went for something I knew I was good at and would make ok money in.

So now..now I just don't know what to do. All of my experience is in Advertising, it's what I thought I was good at but I'm really losing all of my confidence now, I just don't know if I'm good enough to go up the ranks. But as much as my Boss has been putting the pressure on lately I know that he does believe in me, sometimes more than I do in myself. In all honesty I sometimes think that I cheated my way in here, I'm good at interviews and I'm well aware of it; he's even said to me that I did a brilliant interview and was alot more cocky than I am now. But isn't everyone like that?

I'm not going to quit or anything, I mean I don't hate it here, I just really don't like the vibe in the office at the moment. I need to be happy where I'm working or I don't work well, and I told them that in my interview, it's just the way I am. I'd never work well in a office with a Hitler style of management, that's why up until now I've loved it here.

Ach, I just really don't know where I'm at. Maybe I'm just having a bad week, or maybe this really isn't the job for me - I just don't know

Miss Fluff

While being conscientious is admirable, I do think you are completely over-reacting here. You missed your monthly target for the first time ever, and it seems you are having an adverse reaction to that. Use the fact that you didn't hit target to get the finger out and let it be a motivator for you rather than letting it effect your confidence!

LegacyUser

sorry Op but you are completely over reacting,, so you missed your targets for one month, and you made a mistake and the boss gave out to you,,,

this happens everywhere, everyday, most people get on with things and get over it,, if your going to take things so personally you will NEVER excel in any job,,,

as for speaking about a Hitler style boss - I worked for a lady for 5 years that would have made hitler look like the sugar plum fairy,,, however the lessons ive learnt from her far outweigh any Boll*king she ever gave me!!! now id never work for this style of boss again, but i took anything I could have learnt from her and used it for my own advantage,,

You seem extreemely immature, but obviously have potential,, if you dont learn to control your emotions you will not excel in any industry or sector!!!

LegacyUser

I'm far from immature, I'm simply questioning my choice of career as well as my self confidence - and it's getting to me a bit, which is why I posted here for advice. I appreciate that it may seem that I'm over-reacting but the point is that I'm extremely hard working and ambitious and not doing well just isn't an option in my mind. Unregistered, if that style of management worked for you then that's great, but I'm simply stating that it doesn't work for me. Fortunately it's not the way my boss operates, it's simply morale here that's been low for a while, as has my own and that's the problem I'm having at the moment.

I'm not simply having an adverse reaction to not hitting my target, it's not the root of the issue. I've worked in advertising for over 5 years, I've had months where I've been thousands off targets and months were I've gone thousands over, I might be worried about my job at the moment but in relation to target achievement and the industry I work in I KNOW I have a thick skin. I wouldn't have made it this far or worked for the companies I have without one, trust me.

I'm feeling confused with regards to my career choice, but it is certainly no reflection on my level of maturity and I don't appreciate that comment.

tenchi-fan

Hi op

We're in a recession. So your company is focussed completely on getting sales. Their marketing and advertising budgets were probably completely slashed.

It's clear you're not in your ideal job at the moment so keep an eye out for other jobs. Just try to enjoy life outside work, even if you're not enjoying work at the moment.

A year or two in a ridiculous high-pressure selling role may actually be good for you in a way. If you can give 100%, concentrate solely on your role (to sell) you may actually gain a valuable skill and boost your confidence too.

Once I worked in a callcentre and couldn't understand how petty my manager was over call stats (number of calls taken, etc). But then I started just focussing 100% on hitting their stupid stats, which I thought were meaningless but meant a lot to them. In one case it just meant typing up notes while a customer was still on the call rather than when they hung up. This meant my talk time was longer, but aftercall time was shorter... and I ended up hitting both stats rather than missing my after call stat.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is you might not like your job but just take it as it is .. a high pressure, sales focussed job. Concentrate on being the best at it, and think how the sales experience will look on your cv. You can always keep an eye out for more suitable jobs.

wylo

OP if I were you keep working away for another few months (I know you had no plan on leaving anyway), and see how you feel. If the feelings persist then it is time for you to change jobs, or look into journalism altogether. There is nothing worse than being miserable and constantly questioning yourself and putting yourself down in a job.

However it could be just a bad week, and you may be shocked you even wrote this in a months time.