Why did i even mention it

Cant sleep

I have been seeing my boyfriend nearly a month now and we have been having regular sex, the thing is whenever he is trying to pleasure me i can never seem to climax. he thought i was as i have came close many time but always stopped him (which he didnt like at all) because it hurt. i didnt tell him this. so i decided to tell him, during, which was a bad idea. he was seriously upset and hurt that he couldnt. he asked me to show him but i just stupidly felt embarssed, and couldnt even make myself come. i dont think ill ever be able to with him, i feel it could be a control thing, that i just dont relax enough to let him finish. it also feels uncomfortable. i feel terrible that i upset him over this and half wish i didnt say a thing because he is such a lovely guy. he feels this is a big, big issue. but i dont feel the same. when we have sex it feels great its just no certian point when i climax. i wouldnt leave him over it, because to me it doesnt matter. i need to reasure him though and let him know it isnt his fault. i spoke to him about it after but even after the conforsation i knew that it had left him feeling pretty sh!t and dissapointed. anyone have any ideas what i can do to help him pleasure me. and to reasure him that its ok. thanks guys

Angus Og

If you are saying that sex hurts, then don't be afraid to tell him. You have a right to feel comfortable.

According to what I've heard, you aren't the only woman who doesn't orgasm during sex. Maybe it's easier for them to pretend because it doesn't hurt.

Have you tried researching techniques? I'm not sure anyone here is going to write out a description of how he should go about pleasing you.

Cant sleep

Angus Og wrote: »

If you are saying that sex hurts, then don't be afraid to tell him. You have a right to feel comfortable.

According to what I've heard, you aren't the only woman who doesn't orgasm during sex. Maybe it's easier for them to pretend because it doesn't hurt.

Have you tried researching techniques? I'm not sure anyone here is going to write out a description of how he should go about pleasing you.

totally understand. i can do it my self, just not with him. weird i know.

just wondering how i can make him less worried about the issue.

anyone think i was wrong for telling him so early, he said he was glad i did, but not sure he will be able to get over it.

Angus Og

You could have some fun with him, that's the easiest way. It doesn't have to feature penetration.

Once you start getting comfortable it will just happen. You sound nervous, so does he.

Some of the best things come from hard work.

If he's glad you told him, then make it worth his while. Try a little tenderness.

CityMan2010

He's young, in-experienced and taking it all too personally..which is stressful and worrying to you, which is what HE needs to realise....

you've tried explaining but He aint listening..probalby a sense of unfulfilled manhood....

get him to read books or something, might make him a bit more aware of whats going on...tell him to calm his jets....hes got a bit to learn, well a lot to learn.

how come you are taking the rap for this:?

"i knew that it had left him feeling pretty sh!t and dissapointed..."

he needs to be a bit less selfish in my opinion....it takes longer for blokes to get the message what its all about...he'll get over it....hope you start having a great time soon...

rob

Angus Og

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/menshealth/feature/helpwithorgasms.htm

Chinafoot

You're not even together a month so you're not going to be 100% comfortable with each other yet. You don't know the little things that are guaranteed to push each other over the edge. That all comes with patience, exploration and practice.

I'd have to question his age if he is so hurt by this. Either he's fairly inexperienced or has been with a lot of fakers. You have been honest with him and equally he did the right thing in asking you to show him what to do. You just weren't comfortable doing that. It'll all come in time (pun not intended!) and you shouldn't resign yourself to an orgasm-less relationship. You just need to relax with each other.

anucksunamun

Hey hun, when you say you can DIY, have you ever had an orgasm with a guy, as in front ofor 'with' with? is this guy your first/ are you his? and when you say it hurts are we talking penetration or stubble hurting here?

Cant sleep

we are both 20, hes pretty experienced and was shocked when i told him. im not experienced. had to tell him though because its not nice pretending, and the pain. there is no pain during penatration, just if he fingers me, its just different to when i do it, cant really explain.

anucksunamun

momentarily shocked or a big face on him? sounds like he's experienced 'fakers' And you were dead right to tell him.. do you think if you were hurting him he would have said nothing? I think you might need some lubrication help, and also it mightn't hurt if he took things a little slower to let things work naturally for you..

I dont see the huge deal either.. I'm with you on this.. ffs its not like every guy can just magically know what every girl likes immediately, and you didnt bring your manual, ya divil

Would you talk to him about it or are you's still all embarrassed about discussing sex?

Ah jays... I just saw your not too experienced.. does he know that? how the hell does he expect you to know and show him what you like if thats the case hun? He'll have to put in some work, you both will.. to find out what does it for you.. and it'll be a lot of fun getting there, not some big chore chicken! Dont ever feel bad for telling the truth... no matter what its about

Cant sleep

anck su namun wrote: »

momentarily shocked or a big face on him? sounds like he's experienced 'fakers' And you were dead right to tell him.. do you think if you were hurting him he would have said nothing? I think you might need some lubrication help, and also it mightn't hurt if he took things a little slower to let things work naturally for you..

I dont see the huge deal either.. I'm with you on this.. ffs its not like every guy can just magically know what every girl likes immediately, and you didnt bring your manual, ya divil

Would you talk to him about it or are you's still all embarrassed about discussing sex?

Ah jays... I just saw your not too experienced.. does he know that? how the hell does he expect you to know and show him what you like if thats the case hun? He'll have to put in some work, you both will.. to find out what does it for you.. and it'll be a lot of fun getting there, not some big chore chicken! Dont ever feel bad for telling the truth... no matter what its about

Thanks for that:). when i said it, it was silence, few "no way, thats really bad" comments, then we changed the subject, i pushed it and he told me he felt crap that he couldnt do for me what i do for him... i got upset and then he helped me settle down and we came back and spoke about it. wasnt really embarassed. just embarassed about the showing him aspect. which im going to do. he hasnt asked about how experienced i have and i think he knows its not much as he talks about sex and ex's but wouldnt ask or push me on talking about it as not to make me feel unfomfortable. not really sure i want to tell him that im definiatally not as experienced as him, but he does ask me alot (because he doesnt know) what i wanna do, and that its my turn to chosse even though im still learning. ugggh stress, think im just over thinking it way too much.

Angus Og

Tell him how inexperienced you are, and then enjoy letting him explore. Have you introduced him to your clitoris?

extra-ordinary_

Angus Og wrote: »

Tell him how inexperienced you are, and then enjoy letting him explore. Have you introduced his mouth to your clitoris?

FYP:)