Separated & meeting OHs religious parents

lynsalot

Hi guys,

Well it's self explanatory really... and if you've read any of my other posts/threads you'll know my situation. I'm meeting my boyfriend's mother next weekend. I'm separated a few months and my marriage was failing for a year (of a 2 year marriage) before we split. I wouldn't given it a shot but was being treated very badly. He decided to call it a day and I said ok I couldn't take anymore. We had to live together for a few months while we sorted things and he was horrible to me. I have no doubt at all in my mind I'm better off without my ex and out of that marriage.

Ok so the problem is, my new boyfriend (going out 3 months) hasn't told his parents about my past. His parents split up for 7 years when his dad left her and his three kids for another woman and they got back together. I thought maybe they'd understand my predicament but my bf told me he hasn't told his mother because she's religious (Which prob explains why she took her husband back after 7 years)

Anyway I said i'd be more comfortable if she knew about my past before I met her... apparently she's very direct. I'm just wondering if you've any advice. I don't want his mam to think I'm hiding anyway from her. I'm in my late 20s and 4 years older than my boyfriend.

Thanks guys

Angus Og

Be as honest as possible. You've nothing to hide. Let her be as direct as she wants to be, you aren't in love with her so you don't have to care what she thinks.

OS119

OP, it all depends on the nature of his relationship with her: its possible that he's not told her because he couldn't give a flying fcuk about her opinions and has a closer, more involved relationship with a used tea bag than he does his mother - however, the fact that you mentioned his age (and the fact that you meeting her is even issue) suggests that he is living in fear of her opinions, and what she'll tell him to do - and that he'll do it.

personally i'd accept the fact that its unlikely that he'll be hugely open about the situation, and that he'll avoid it if possible - it also depends if she's a nosey bitch who is actually rude enough to ask about your relationship history. personally i'd be inclined not to discuss it with his family - and say so publicly if neccesary - not just because its a possible stick for the traditional Irish Mammy to beat any whore/slut/tramp who thinks she might be good enough for her darling son, but because its none of her business. your upcoming divorce is likely to produce enough hassle without your BF's mother believing she has a right not just to know about, but to comment on your marriage/seperation/divorce/new relationship.

big fat red line in the sand from the get-go - easier to do it now than in 12 months when her sniping gets boring, as well as providing a lead for your BF to follow. if he chooses not to follow that lead then you may have a problem.