Almost perfect except one problem...

LegacyUser

I'm very lucky to be in a fantastic relationship with an amazing girl for the last new months - she's everything I'd want in a girlfriend, so easy going we get on so well and have never had a single argument or anything in many months. We are both crazy about eachother and the sex is brilliant. However one problem has now arisen. We went on holidays for 2 weeks and like any guy I'd imagine I'm on for it all the time, but she's isn't on for sex anywhere near as much as I am. We only normally see eachother at weekends etc so usually this is not a problem, but now that we've been together 24/7, I'm starting to get refused when i want sex which is new to me - and I don't like it lol

At first we were having sex once a day, then it was only once every 2 days, then 3. I basically think we should be having sex 2-3 times a day - I'd expect this is fairly normal for a couple away on holiday together - she just isn't up for it! We're still extremely affectionate during the day kissing and cuddling all over the place etc - she's the most affectionate girl I've ever been with and that has not changed. We're having a fantastic holiday with some magical experiences - but for me its being spoiled by lack of sex. Basically I have not not bothered even trying the last few days, but I'm just making myself frustrated and angry. It's pretty much always me who initiates sex all the time anyway, maybe she's just not that forward that way, but I'm wondering if I kept this not-trying thing up, how long would she be happy to go without sex at all??? Is she simply going to wait until I try again and then just not say no when she feels like actually having sex?? This is just not cool in my book.

Are a lot of women like this? Maybe if your 18 this could be expected but we're in our late 20's. I know the obvious answer here is 'talk about it with her etc' which I'm sure I will do but I'm just not sure how to approach it without either making her feel bad or upsetting her, or getting more p1ssed off myself. i'd appreciate any other insight people might have.
Thanx

Peggypeg

Hey OP,

Like you said yourself you're going to have to talk to her. Just sit her down and have a chat with her about it, make sure you don't come across as angry and accusing though. Just tell her that you would like more sex and see what she says. 2 - 3 times a day sounds like an awful lot to me, even if you're a new couple and on holiday! To be honest with you I know I'd be extremely sore if I was doing it that often, and it would stop being fun very fast. I mean sex is great, that's obvious, but if my boyfriend was asking for it 2 -3 times as day I would start seeing it as work, painful work at that. Like I say, just talk to her, it may be that you have different sex drives but I'd say the majority of couples do. Communication is key.

Best of luck

I personally wouldn't consider 2-3 times a day normal. I've done it, but I considered it quite a lot, and it wasn't repeated day after day. I'd be concerned about your feeling frustrated and angry. She hasn't done anything wrong. Sex every 2 days is hardly infrequent. I would be careful about broaching the subject with her, as I was with a guy who felt he wasn't getting enough sex and I ended up feeling used, as if I was some sort of outlet for his sexual frustration instead of a person (and as it turned out, he was a Class A d*ckhead but back to the topic...) Maybe it's sore for her, maybe her sex drive isn't all that high, maybe she's shy about initating it. Could be any number of things. You need to talk to her in a non-pressuring way and ask if everything is OK.

Angus Og

You've worn her out. She needs a break. Peggypeg is right.

theg81der

Op thats not normal. I have a high sex drive but 2 to 3 times a day does get boring and sore if your a girl. And I don`t think your expectations are realistic at all.

I disliked the way you talked about your girlfriend, can`t put my finger on it but I felt it offensive. Maybe its the inference that your holiday has been spoiled by her not having sex with you, maybe she feels the pressure of this or maybe your spoiling her holiday with your unrealistic sexual expectations.

cafecolour

I'd keep **** regularly even if she doesn't want to have sex. If you are used to orgasming a few times a day, and then you're not because you are waiting for sex that's not going to happen for a while, you're going to just get more irritated and on edge.

Heck, she might enjoy watching. Next time she refused you for sex, say something like "No worries. I'm pretty horned up right now though, so I'm gotta knock out a quick one to take the edge off. You want to keep me company while I do so or should I pop the jacks for it?" Make sure this is in a matter of fact way, not an accusing one.

Angus Og

She's a human being not a blow up doll. It might be a good thing to learn that now.

God, if my only worry was that a girl wouldn't have sex with me 2 or 3 times a day I'd already be in heaven.

ohanloj3

Jesus, 2-3times a day???Shes not a machine!!Some people don't have as high a sex drive as others. You need to talk to her and come to a compromise

Midnight Sundance

As other people have said she's not a machine. 2 to 3times a day,you're talkin up to 21times a wk and 42times in two weeks,sex can be abrasive inside especially repeatedly like you are suggesting. She's probably sore and your constant request for it is probably a turn off. I'd want to run a mile if i was her. Tone it down and take her needs and feelings into consideration. Take stock of how lucky you are,then hopefully you will appreciate what you have got.

aidan24326

holidaylover wrote: »

At first we were having sex once a day, then it was only once every 2 days, then 3. I basically think we should be having sex 2-3 times a day - I'd expect this is fairly normal for a couple away on holiday together - she just isn't up for it!

Expecting sex 2-3 times a day every day is completely unrealistic. 2-3 times in a day will happen from time to time, but you seem to think that 2-3 times a day every day is normal. Well it isn't.

The girl isn't a machine. I'd say very very few couples have sex that frequently. You sound very immature about this, to be honest I thought you were about 18 at first and was surprised when you said you're in your late 20s.

Of course she's not going to be 'up for it' when she feels like she's being pressured into having sex even when she's not really in the mood. In any case, this is one area where quality is more important than quantity. Relieve yourself if you're frustrated, maybe even get her to join in. But right now you have unrealistic expectations.

krudler

I'm starting to get refused when i want sex which is new to me - and I don't like it lol

Boo friggin hoo, she's your girlfriend not a blow up doll, if you think a woman is there purely to satisfy your sexual needs when only you feel they should be satisfied, then thats your issue to deal with not hers, did you ever think maybe she finds it sore from doing it that often?

Are a lot of women like this?

Are most women human beings that need to want sex more than purely because their partner happens to be in the mood? yes

Darthhoob

i think you need to remember that there are two people in this relationship and BOTH need to be happy in it. pressuring her for sex (2-3 times a day...omg i LOVE sex but that would hurt long term) is probably making her feel she is nothing more to you than a sex toy. would you prefer her to have sex with you when she also feels like it and enjoys it? or just have sex when you want it and lie back be like a sack of potatoes? to be fair noone should have sex just to shut someone up......the fact that you get angry about her saying no...quite frankly...worries me
sex is a an important part of a relationship, but it needs to feel right for both. sex usually dwindles down a little...from an outsiders perspective i'd say tou seem to have a good sex life comsidering you've been out with eachother a few months now.