I'm on the verge of exploding

LegacyUser

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Hi there,

I know there have been a few posts about lonliness and depression but I was hoping I could talk about this and somebody would have some helpful advice. I have a few stressers and this is what is bubbling under the surface. I'm on the verge of quitting my job and i think may be heading for a breakdown??

1. I detest my job.. my teammates are excluding me from conversations and events.. I try and chat about their lives with them, congratulate on engagements births etc they say how it went then turn away from me and address someone else about whatever they want to talk about. I try and include myself in their chats, asking a question here and there, they'll answer but then carry on talking to someone else, even if i'm mid conversation.
I had to spend a lot of time with them lately and i cried my eyes out in my room. They are not mean to me, no nasty comments.. just exclusion
I've applied for college and its 50/50 that i'll get in so i'm worried about that too. I need to go back and fufill a dream and to get away from this.

2. Anxiety is crippling me as soon as I leave work, giving me headaches.. took an otc to help and it did low and behold I'm now pretty sure I'm addicted to it.

3. I've recently had some comments about my weight. i used to be very athletic and competed regularly at my sport. I left a few years ago because my team turned out to be very unsavoury people, I miss the sport so much and I know this would help lift my spirits. However it is the only competitive club in my county and I can never go back to my old club. even amateur clubs are very few and of a very bad standard.

4. I've been to my doctor and he weighted me and said I was of ideal weight for my height, I told him about my anxiety and he said take up a hobby... when i told him about my dilemma he said "thats a pity". I left feeling a bit dejected and very very sad.

So thats how I would describe how im feeling, sad and lonely. Not suicidal thankfully but I do feel like leaving a note and disappearing. but sense tells me my problems will follow.

If anyone has any ideas i would be forever gratefull.. i've a few tears writing this.

skooterblue

Hi OP,
I am glad that you are seeking help, Admitting there is a problem is the first big step. The first thing I would do is STOP!! If your GP is probably right about your height/weight but if he is not recognizing your anxiety then there is problem. Change Doctors. People think in this country that certain professions are above questioning. Trades men are only as good as the last job they did. Go find another doctor and get one on recommendation.

I dont think you are heading for a breakdown if you act quickly. Talk to your doctor and company Doctor. VHI have a counselling service 24/7 I am sure BUPA have something similar. Its free, confidential and work are billed every year on how many people they have working for them.

I think college is a way for you to escape more than destination. You seem more pushed than pulled. Apply by all means but think long and hard about giving up a paying job. I found when I was revved up and anxious no one wanted to come near me.

There are no good over the counter medicines for this kind of thing. Go to the doctor explain the problem and ask for his advice. Go read up on anxiety I found cipramil.com have a wonderful site

who really cares about the standard of the club as long as you just get out there and meet people and compete. go with the local club and just give it your best shot. They will probably welcome someone with your experience

"thats a pity" more like that you didnt have the confidence to get up and get out there again.

Running away will not solve your problems. Standing up straight and admitting you hae a problem will.
1. See your GP. Take any medication or advice they give you.
2. Aware.ie are running group therapy courses in your area
3. If you need to talk to someone there are loads of people 24/7. samaritans, insurance providers have one.
4. A life coach might be of benefit.
5. A friend in need is a friend in deed its times like these you find out who your friends really are.

Remember any medication will take between 3 to 6 weeks to feel the real effects and they reduce your stress level so you can get work done with ut feeling stressed. You have a lot of reading to do, understanding mental health will help you cope with why it happened to you. Work with doctors and medical professionals and dont try to tie them to your own agenda.
I hope this helps.

LegacyUser

Hi there Op here,

Thank you for taking the time for your thoughtful reply. I am very gratefull, writing everything down has helped me a lot and spurred me to do something about it. Once I saw it there in front of me I felt a bit better about it.

iguana2005

change doc quick...those symptoms sound very familiar...try and go talk to someone too...good luck...i did notice when i was depressed that even though the feelings are very real and frightening i genuinely thought i would be locked up and heading towards breakdown..the doc always said to me if you were having a breakdown you would be so out of it you wouldnt even know..you sound pretty sane to me just need a little help for your noggin.

good luck! these feelings too will pass

anucksunamun

Hi OP, this otc medicine you think your addicted to, obviously we cant discuss that further here, but you need to discuss it with a medical professional, and soon.. It may seem like its not doing you any harm now, but it can really damage your liver etc.. PLEASE do not ignore this..

As to everything else thats going on with you, my heart absolutely goes out to you, I know how you feel re work colleagues, it happened to me in one of my jobs.. and they probably dont even see that they are doing it.. Do you think perhaps this depression your feeling may be magnifying their behavior? as in it wouldn't effect you as much normally... but now it feels just awful? thats what happens to me anyway.. its like my coping mechanism is off.. the hours I spent in the toilet in tears on the phone to my pops :rolleyes:. Is there anyway hun you'd go speak to a therapist about it? maybe they could help you develop stronger and better coping skills (thats what mine did). Also
skooterblue recommended life coaching, excellent idea, REGSA offer free advice and coaching.. they were invaluable to me.

And finally as to your sport, I dont suppose theres another one you might be interested in doing? Or maybe join a gym? The best of luck to you, Please keep us posted. x.

cafecolour

Do you have a circle of friends outside of work? Or have you always been more of a loner?

I'm only asking as you mention not getting on with coworker and leaving your sport since you didn't get on with your team members. You might benefit from some counseling specifically targeted social interaction, maybe group therapy.