Let go now or later?

LegacyUser

Seeing my BF since October. Introduced through a mutual friend that neither of us know too well, just happened to be in same bar and got talking.

He's moving to New Zealand in June for two years (or maybe more) and I don't have any means to travel for the foreseeable future. He planned the trip before we met and paid for it in November when we were only 'just dating'. I don't resent him for having this trip to go on as he had planned it before I even knew him but now the sadness is starting to kick in.

He doesn't think a long distance thing will work but wants to stay in touch, e-mail chat etc. and if I do wind up going to NZ in the future or he winds up coming back home and we're both available, then we might be able to get back together. I don't want to do this because the thought of him with another girl kills me and I don't think I could be friendly with him knowing that he's with other girls.

He wants to stay going out until he moves away and then end things. I want to keep things going but if he's not willing to do the long distance thing, then I don't see the point in seeing him until June.

We get on much better than I have with any of my exs and I don't want to lose him. Please help, should I just cut him out now?

Peggypeg

Helplease wrote: »

Seeing my BF since October. Introduced through a mutual friend that neither of us know too well, just happened to be in same bar and got talking.

He's moving to New Zealand in June for two years (or maybe more) and I don't have any means to travel for the foreseeable future. He planned the trip before we met and paid for it in November when we were only 'just dating'. I don't resent him for having this trip to go on as he had planned it before I even knew him but now the sadness is starting to kick in.

He doesn't think a long distance thing will work but wants to stay in touch, e-mail chat etc. and if I do wind up going to NZ in the future or he winds up coming back home and we're both available, then we might be able to get back together. I don't want to do this because the thought of him with another girl kills me and I don't think I could be friendly with him knowing that he's with other girls.

He wants to stay going out until he moves away and then end things. I want to keep things going but if he's not willing to do the long distance thing, then I don't see the point in seeing him until June.

We get on much better than I have with any of my exs and I don't want to lose him. Please help, should I just cut him out now?

Wow hard one. It sounds like he's been pretty straight with you. The ball is in your court. Do you want to continue on knowing that it will end in June and maybe sometime in the future it could start up again? I know personnally I wouldn't be able for that at all. If it was me I would break up with him now as you're only likely to fall deeper between now and June. You have to protect your heart, what possible good can you see coming from staying with him? Besides getting to spend time with him that is?

LegacyUser

That's the problem. I don't want to stop seeing him and I don't want to fall into it more deeply. I just don't know what to do. He keeps saying it's gonna be just as hard for him to leave me but I can't help but get the impression that he's just using me until he goes. I know people will say that he had the plans before we met and I don't hold it against him for going on the trip but just think he shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with me if he knew he'd be going away.

Midnight Sundance

Seems like this is one decision that's left up to you. He really doesn't have much choice about what way you want to play it and if you want to heal properly you will have to do whatever suits you the best and not him. So if you feel like breaking it off and no contact will help you move on then you'l just have to do it no matter how much he wants to see you until he goes. I'm sure he'll understand once you explain it all. Good luck! :-)