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issue with f**k buddy!

  • 30-01-2010 8:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i posted here a while ago saying i met a guy and as he's moving away it wasn't going to be serious. I was fine with this. At the start he was always texting etc - now not so much anymore. Im wondering why??? Is it because i said im afraid to get hurt as I was hurt before and Im afraid to get attached to him. He said maybe we should stop meeting each other as he didnt want to hurt me - i said its ok i wont be hurt!! ( maybe i lied ) when i came back he said he was so glad i did! or is he distant because now he's 'got' me, he has no chase anymore. At the start I wasnt that bothered about the whole thing and he seemed so keen. Now im keen and he doesn't seem to be anymore. I know we are only f**k buddies so maybe its not worth the hassle????? Il be honost and say i wish theyre was more between us but i guess im a bit immature for him and he said 'i make him laugh' Anyone know what im talking about???


Comments

  • #2
    Slutmonkey57b
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,578 ✭✭✭Slutmonkey57b


    Sounds more like both of you are leaning away from the **** buddy arrangement and towards a relationship. As with all these things, better to be honest and up front, don't leave each other (and yourselves) guessing.


  • #3
    jenga-jen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 351 ✭✭jenga-jen


    Ok OP, this might sound a bit harsh but by your own definition this guy is your fúck buddy yeh?

    And yet from the way you're coming across you expect him to be chasing/texting you all the time? This sounds a lot like you have gotten attached to him and are starting to think that he should be treating you almost as a bf would treat you...

    The 'hassle' seems to stem from you expecting this, not from the situation itself! If you REALLY only want him as a FB then why do you need all of this emotional around it? Just meet up, have your fun and let that be that.

    His attitude may be changing because he senses that you feel more for this than he does and has backed off as a result in order not to lead you on. r he could just be thinking 'FB...I don't need to make huge efforts'

    IMO if you've started to feel more than just 'convenient lust' for your FB and you know that either he doesn't feel the same or is leaving and can't reciprocate for that reason, then I think for your own sake you need to put an end to it as it will only cause you more heartache.

    Of course, if you feel he might want something more from this as time has gone on then there's only one thing for it: talk about it!! Not the most comfortable of conversations but could be worth it :)


  • #4
    themadchef
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,813 ✭✭✭themadchef


    gdkjf wrote: »
    Il be honost and say i wish theyre was more between us

    Then he's not your FB then. In your head you are thinking up ways to turn it into more.

    I dont mean to be harsh, but you have an emotional attchment here. He doesnt. When feelings are brought into the mix in a FB situation someone gets hurt. It's clearly going to be you here so my advice is delete delete delete.


  • #5
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    Talk about it with him.

    Seems like you ahve three choice:
    a) you guys beomce a couple
    b) status quo but you might get hurt
    c) end it and try not to get hurt (meh you sound involved enough thou that this in itself might hurt)

    point is thou - discuss it with him. only you and he can work it out!


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    opinion guy wrote: »
    Talk about it with him.

    Seems like you ahve three choice:
    a) you guys beomce a couple
    b) status quo but you might get hurt
    c) end it and try not to get hurt (meh you sound involved enough thou that this in itself might hurt)

    point is thou - discuss it with him. only you and he can work it out!

    when ive tried to talk about it he always avoided the question or changed the subject. I guess thats my answer to be honost. I told someone else about my situation and they said his behaviour was horrible - i.e. leading me on in a f**k buddy situation. asking me to go on holiday with him, saying we are great together, asking would i live in another country, him being so friendly and into me etc etc. Thats why i thought we might have more - if he just had sex with me and didnt ask much about my life, family, future plans then id be happy with just sex. I think he's a guy that likes 'new' things. Like when I was 'new' he was into me - now he's had me he's going off the idea. He moves around alot. He broke off an engagement a good few years ago. I think he has commitment issues. As my friend says - 'he'll be an old 40 year old man in 2 years time' lol!!


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