Best friend claiming "ownership" of a guy?!

LegacyUser

One of my best friends kissed a guy on three separate occasions, over the space of a week, about four months ago. They never were any more intimate than that. She really liked him at the time but he didn't seem too into her. He's in our wider circle of friends so I saw him out quite a bit. I had a boyfriend at the time and soon enough after kissing my friend, he told me on a night out that he liked me, but cos I was in a relationship, and had never particularly thought about him that way, I told him nicely that it wasn't reciprocated.

Fast forward four months, he and I are both single. We've become very friendly via facebook, nights out and texting. Over the last week, and particularly last night, he's made it quite clear that he fancies me. He's a gorgeous looking guy and more importantly, I think he's very sweet and quite deep. I'd love to go on a date with him. I've broached the topic with my friend and although she's well over him and they just shared a few drunken kisses, I've been told in no uncertain terms that she'd be very, very upset with me if I went on a date with him.She's claimed ownership almost.

I've had a terrible time of it relationship wise and I'd love to hang out with someone who wants to treat me well and be nice to me for a while. I told her this and she seems to just see the whole thing as a slight on her. She's a beautiul girl but is paranoid about her weight and because I'm smaller she thinks this all reflects poorly on her looks. I feel like going ahead and seeing him anyway, but I know the guilt would kill me and I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself.

Is there any way to solve this or should I just leave it with your man altogether?

Victor

frustration!! wrote: »

she's well over him ... she'd be very, very upset with me if I went on a date with him.She's claimed ownership almost.

She needs to move on.

Ickle Magoo

On one hand, she has no right to suggest she'd be mad at you for going on a date with someone she snogged a couple of times - but on the other hand, surely the world contains enough people that dating men one of your best friends has snogged shouldn't even be an issue? Playing too close to home & all that.

LegacyUser

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

On one hand, she has no right to suggest she'd be mad at you for going on a date with someone she snogged a couple of times - but on the other hand, surely the world contains enough people that dating men one of your best friends has snogged shouldn't even be an issue? Playing too close to home & all that.

OP here..of course, I totally see your point..but you can't help who you like really, and I do find it pretty hard to find decent guys that I click with. I hear there's a multitude of lovely men out there but I've yet to experience that!

jenga-jen

This makes me so angry :mad:

OP I'm 25 and was single up until quite recently and we had the same problem in our group of friends. One of the girls kept claiming that lads were 'hers' because she'd kissed them drunkenly, sometimes once sometimes more than that.

IMO this is completely juvenile and you should ignore it. It might be a long shot but what if you ended up in a long term thing with yer man? Would you be willing to pass that up because your friend is effectively cocking a leg and marking territory?

Don't get me wrong, +1 to Ickle Magoo. Playing too close to home is a dangerous thing to get into but if like you said it was a couple of drunken kisses then I wouldn't see the harm if you do genuinely like him and aren't just filling time!!

Jack B. Badd

I'd be of the "All is fair in love in love and war" school of thought here. Your friend is obviously not interested in the guy and from my POV (bearing in mind I don't know your background) it seems she's actually just interested in the power she's trying to wield over you. Tbh, it might do her some good to realise that she won't always get what she wants in life.

It's obviously your decision but if you genuinely like the guy, go out with him. Reassure her that it has nothing to do with her (although this may not be what she wants to hear :rolleyes:) and if she has a problem with it, it's her problem.

Ickle Magoo

frustration!!! wrote: »

OP here..of course, I totally see your point..but you can't help who you like really, and I do find it pretty hard to find decent guys that I click with. I hear there's a multitude of lovely men out there but I've yet to experience that!

I guess, there's something about having had my best friend's tongue in their mouth that automatically makes some people unattractive to me but meh, I'm a bit funny that way.

I think you just have to weigh up what means more to you, exploring a relationship with this fella or your relationship with your friend - because regardless of how silly & petty I think she's being, unfortunately it may come down to that. Best of luck.

krudler

What is she?12? tell her to grow up and cop the **** on, he likes you,you like him, she had her chance and it didnt go any further, her tough

beks101

Gah, this seems to be some sort of unwritten rule with some girls.

This would be vaguely understandable if the friend actually still had a thing for this guy, but seeing as you've said she has not expressed interest, I think this 'ownership' thing is more a power-yielding thing than anything else, more than likely stemming from her own insecurities. Maybe making him 'off-limits' is her way of having the upper-hand on you - because ultimately, she feels you're more attractive and is jealous that he seems to be more into you than he was her. Not really a quality I'd look for in a friend, to be honest.

I'd suggest sitting her down and just being completely honest with her. Tell her you've had a hard time of it, have been getting to know this guy and there's a mutual interest there that you'd like to explore, but you don't want to lose her friendship. If she really, genuinely does not still have a secret crush on this guy (chances are she's lying) then tell her she's being unreasonable for 'forbidding' you to start anything...if she doesn't budge on this, it's decision time - is the friendship worth more than the potential of you and this guy?

LegacyUser

beks101 wrote: »

Gah, this seems to be some sort of unwritten rule with some girls.

This would be vaguely understandable if the friend actually still had a thing for this guy, but seeing as you've said she has not expressed interest, I think this 'ownership' thing is more a power-yielding thing than anything else, more than likely stemming from her own insecurities. Maybe making him 'off-limits' is her way of having the upper-hand on you - because ultimately, she feels you're more attractive and is jealous that he seems to be more into you than he was her. Not really a quality I'd look for in a friend, to be honest.

I'd suggest sitting her down and just being completely honest with her. Tell her you've had a hard time of it, have been getting to know this guy and there's a mutual interest there that you'd like to explore, but you don't want to lose her friendship. If she really, genuinely does not still have a secret crush on this guy (chances are she's lying) then tell her she's being unreasonable for 'forbidding' you to start anything...if she doesn't budge on this, it's decision time - is the friendship worth more than the potential of you and this guy?

Thanks a million for this advice. It's really helpful actually. Sitting her down and being one hundred percent honest about my interest in him, and explaining why I have that interest, is probably by far the best option. We're both 26 years old and not little girls, though it'd be widely acknowledged in our group of friends that she does tend to be quite immature at times.

I do think that this objection to me starting anything up with him does stem from her own insecurities. We have completely different looks and body types and styles. You couldn't really compare us, but every night out recently ends up with her giving out, saying all the guys were into me and not her. I know for a fact that this is due to her tendency to get far too drunk (we're talking 15 glasses of wine a night or more) and not being coherent enough for chats with guys, not anything to do with her looks. At the same time, I don't want to aggravate her insecurities. But after trying several times lately to tackle how offputting her behaviour is, how that much drinking is dangerous, and to convince her of how pretty she is, I'm getting fairly worn out by it.

I was meant to go out tonight and would have seen the guy out but I stayed in instead, because I didn't trust myself not to kiss him.

theg81der

I think you`ve already decided what your going to do and your looking for people to tell you she`s being childish but I disagree. Its fine to say she`s over him but if he came up and tried it on wiht her I`m betting she`s reciprocate so she still has feelings.
I believe, from my own experience of girls, your going to go ahead anyway and you`ll lose your friend, even if she gives in she`ll still be resentful and will find another reason to turn against you probably along with your other girl friends (who by the way would do this to you also, because its our animal instinct). But you are not an animal, you are an intelligent woman who doesn`t have to follow her instinct (probably what you call your heart as a way of excusing this whole thing) you have a choice although as I said I believe you`ve made it already.
My philosophy if your able to help yourself at all no good will come of this situation. Your relationship with this guy is tainted, you`ll always have a negative feeling associated with it that you`ll never be free from even if you adopt an "us against the world" stance when the sh*t hits the fan.

Ps I think you know that your the alpha female in the group, I don`t buy this rubbish, you know it and I can see from your last post your coming up with excuses why your "worn out" by your friend so its fine to dump her as she`s terrible - of course nothing to do with the fact that you`ve your sights on this guy.....typical girl behaviour at least own your choices.

LegacyUser

theg81der wrote: »

I think you`ve already decided what your going to do and your looking for people to tell you she`s being childish but I disagree. Its fine to say she`s over him but if he came up and tried it on wiht her I`m betting she`s reciprocate so she still has feelings.
I believe, from my own experience of girls, your going to go ahead anyway and you`ll lose your friend, even if she gives in she`ll still be resentful and will find another reason to turn against you probably along with your other girl friends (who by the way would do this to you also, because its our animal instinct). But you are not an animal, you are an intelligent woman who doesn`t have to follow her instinct (probably what you call your heart as a way of excusing this whole thing) you have a choice although as I said I believe you`ve made it already.
My philosophy if your able to help yourself at all no good will come of this situation. Your relationship with this guy is tainted, you`ll always have a negative feeling associated with it that you`ll never be free from even if you adopt an "us against the world" stance when the sh*t hits the fan.

Ps I think you know that your the alpha female in the group, I don`t buy this rubbish, you know it and I can see from your last post your coming up with excuses why your "worn out" by your friend so its fine to dump her as she`s terrible - of course nothing to do with the fact that you`ve your sights on this guy.....typical girl behaviour at least own your choices.

This is a bit harsh. I don't have a notion of dumping my friend and never said as much. But friendships have to be a two way street. I work at my friendships. I genuinely like the girl. If he was her ex-boyfriend, I wouldn't touch him, but he's not. I don't know where I'm meant to draw the line. Say if another girl in the group says a guy is hot in passing, is he off-limits to everyone who knows her too? You can't really lay claim to someone, unless there's been a relationship or connection there I feel. Of course, there may have been deeper feelings on her side for the guy which she never revealed, but she'd no reason to hide them from me at the time.

I haven't already made my decision. He was texting all night last night and I stayed put and never went out to meet him. I'd be quite spontaneous in general; if I'd already made my choice, I would have gone. Thanks for your input though. It's good that I'm being made look at things from all the angles and examine my actions or potential actions.

opinion guy

ok i think the g81ler has a point, but only a small one and is being way too harsh on you. People like who they like. when your a teenager its all competitive melodrama. when you get a little older it should not be. over time we change and people grow apart and together....blah blah. point is - its gonna happen that sometimes you fancy/get with someone your friend was into/with. grow up and deal with it.

frustration!! wrote: »

Thanks a million for this advice. It's really helpful actually. Sitting her down and being one hundred percent honest about my interest in him, and explaining why I have that interest, is probably by far the best option. We're both 26 years old and not little girls, though it'd be widely acknowledged in our group of friends that she does tend to be quite immature at times.

I do think that this objection to me starting anything up with him does stem from her own insecurities. We have completely different looks and body types and styles. You couldn't really compare us, but every night out recently ends up with her giving out, saying all the guys were into me and not her. I know for a fact that this is due to her tendency to get far too drunk (we're talking 15 glasses of wine a night or more) and not being coherent enough for chats with guys, not anything to do with her looks. At the same time, I don't want to aggravate her insecurities. But after trying several times lately to tackle how offputting her behaviour is, how that much drinking is dangerous, and to convince her of how pretty she is, I'm getting fairly worn out by it.

I was meant to go out tonight and would have seen the guy out but I stayed in instead, because I didn't trust myself not to kiss him.

To be honest seems to me your are outgrowing your friend. maybe you have just matured faster than her - it happens. seems like you have more issues with her than just this guy. The getting legless thing and then bitching about guys not being into her - my God I'd have VERY little tolerance for that. On that topic - why are you so worried about her insecurities ? Just tell her straight up its cause she drinks too much. From a guy perspective nothing more annoying than some drunk girl trying to hit on you when she can't quite stand up. Honestly a guys thoughts basically are along the lines of "please go away before you puke on me/ fall and split your head an i have to look after you". But i digress. The point here is - this is HER issue. and probably just as much a threat to your continuing friendship as this particular guy I would imagine.

As regards the guy, you have to weigh up how much you think getting with him is worth. i.e. if it means costing you your friendship with this girl, are you willing to risk that. i say that because she sounds like the melodramtic type who will pull some teenage crap on you. you're both 26 - ye should be able to talk it out. Either she does still like the guy (distcinictly possible and where i think theg81der has a point). Is she the type who if she likes a guy who spurns her she will pretend she doens't like him ? Or she doesn't like him and is merely playing power games. thing to do is talk it out with her and frankly if it comes down to power games i'd go with something along the lines of "well i'm sorry you feel that way but you don't own him and say you don't like him and i need something good so i'm going for it. deal with it".

hmmm i guess what i'm saying is - why are you pussyfooting around the girl ? i mean 26 - she needs to cop on

CathyMoran

From what I have seen men tend to be far more level headed in these situations and see it as a competition as to who gets the girl. It seems that she still has something for him (if she did not then she would not say that you are not allowed near him) but in the end of the day he fancies you not her, she has to get over that, not you...I am not sure if the friendship will survive between you no matter what happens so would suggest just giving the guy a chance...maybe am being cynical but I cant imagine that she would not go after him if the situation had gone the other way.

opinion guy

CathyMoran wrote: »

I am not sure if the friendship will survive between you no matter what happens so would suggest just giving the guy a chance...maybe am being cynical but I cant imagine that she would not go after him if the situation had gone the other way.

+1

theg81der

Op I think you know I`m not saying this to be harsh, its just human nature who hasn`t seen this situation and who doesn`t know what will happen.
I know whats going to happen and so did you the first hint of a flirt or hair tossing or smile.
And although being meladaramtic I didn`t mean dump in the traditional sense more in an emotional one, you seem to be very focus on her negative trait currently, why do you think that is? Its your subconcious taking over and justifying your desires, trying to rationalise. Its not you its human nature - your human thats all I`m saying.

I think emotional rejection is as painful as a slap (my opinion respectful of yours if you don`t feel this way), would you date a guy who slapped your friend?

You know the answer, if you believe in karma, god, angels whatever you know right from wrong and you can choose right or ignore wrong If you don`t then well your the alpha female and you have your choice of romantic partner, why choose one that clearly hurts another person?

I just like people to make concious decisions and own them, we`re suppose to be enlightened/educated and everyone just seems to be following the genitals around to me (this is very simplified and not worded well but you get my point).

Ps my hubby is here I asked him he said to tell you - if he wasn`t hot you wouldn`t be interested.

The_Conductor

I never ever got the way some girls seem to think they can claim 'ownership' over a guy- just cause they saw him first- its a complete cop out that most mature people see for its absurdity- and have done, since their early teens......

OP- if you want to go out with the guy- you have to weigh up whether you'd like to go out with him more than you'd like to remain friends with your immature idiot of friend- who has a seriously warped view of how the world works. If you value your friendship more than a potential relationship with this guy- you have your answer. If, on the other hand- you're willing to either sit down and talk to her like adult to adult- or, you're willing to accept that she is an immature idiot with a princess complex- you also know what to do.

At the end of the day- in my book- life is far too short to accept childish behaviour from our peers- it may be fun when we're still in school, or young kids- but most people learn from life what normal social interactions involve- and they most certainly do not involve laying claim to other people over such whimsical things as a kiss they had months previously.

LegacyUser

theg81der wrote: »

And clearly you know your more desirable/attractive when compared to your friend.

I think emotional rejection is as painful as a slap (my opinion respectful of yours if you don`t feel this way), would you date a guy who slapped your friend?

You know the answer, if you believe in karma, god, angels whatever you know right from wrong and you can choose right or ignore wrong If you don`t then well your the alpha female and you have your choice of romantic partner, why choose one that clearly hurts another person?

I just like people to make concious decisions and own them, we`re suppose to be enlightened/educated and everyone just seems to be following the genitals around to me (this is very simplified and not worded well but you get my point).

Firstly I DON'T think I'm more desirable than my friend. There have been PLENTY of times where guys have preferred her over me. Her main insecurity with me is that I'm smaller but some guys far prefer girls to have curves and look more womanly. Sometimes you're just not someone's type, and it counts for both of us. But I'm not an eejit, I know that she thinks she'd much rather be a size six with no boobs than a size 12 with fabulous curves, but that's kinda beside the point.

I totally believe in karma. I try not to hurt people. I've been very, very good to this girl, and she has been amazing to me in the past too. I'm not trying to make myself out to be a martyr but I'm not a bad friend. I just don't think this guy hurt her. She just never seemed that bothered. I've seen her hurt and this wasn't one of those times. He's very fanciable so yeah, maybe she does still think he's hot, but so do all the girls in the group.

All this alpha female stuff? This isn't Mean Girls or Gossip Girl. A group dynamic really can't be stripped down to such basic terms, or at least, my group dynamic can't be.

theg81der

Ok if you say so but experience has thought me I know how this is gonna go pretty simple really from my point of view.

opinion guy

frustration!! wrote: »

All this alpha female stuff? This isn't Mean Girls or Gossip Girl. A group dynamic really can't be stripped down to such basic terms, or at least, my group dynamic can't be.

+1

Some of her behaviours OP describes, she sounds a bit insecure and maybe lacking in self confidence so that would be the only thing worrying me. What impact would a relationship starting between OP and the guy have on her confidence but to be honest i think the OP's friend is overreacting if a) she wasn't into this guy, and b) only shifted him a couple of times.

i don't think you are doing anything morally or ethically wrong but others may see it different. what do the other friends think? it could split your group down the middle if some felt the same as her but to be honest its a very petty reason if it does, i mean shes not into him as you say. if there was even the slightest of interest on her part i could see her point but there wasn't. it is sad if either a potential fantastic relationship or a friendship has to go over this pettiness. i suppose it all boils down to who means more to you because judging by what you have told us op, she is not going to budge on this as its an insecurity thing.

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

Some of her behaviours OP describes, she sounds a bit insecure and maybe lacking in self confidence so that would be the only thing worrying me. What impact would a relationship starting between OP and the guy have on her confidence but to be honest i think the OP's friend is overreacting if a) she wasn't into this guy, and b) only shifted him a couple of times.

i don't think you are doing anything morally or ethically wrong but others may see it different. what do the other friends think? it could split your group down the middle if some felt the same as her but to be honest its a very petty reason if it does, i mean shes not into him as you say. if there was even the slightest of interest on her part i could see her point but there wasn't. it is sad if either a potential fantastic relationship or a friendship has to go over this pettiness. i suppose it all boils down to who means more to you because judging by what you have told us op, she is not going to budge on this as its an insecurity thing.

Yep, totally agree on the issue of how this might affect her confidence and I mentioned upthread somewhere that I didn't want to aggravate her insecurities. I don't want to be the reason she feels bad about herself. There are enough people out there that can negatively affect you without your best friend numbering among them!

I wouldn't be overly worried about the rest of the group's reaction (towards me) as I'm the closest to her out of all the girls, and they already think she's overreacting. None of them know how close I've gotten to the guy but a few remarks have been passed along the lines of " Oh, you and X are very pally on each other's facebooks at the moment!" and my friend immediately said "Yeah but she wouldn't go near him because of me, I'm sure"... and that was received with no small amount of suprise, since her encounters with him were so brief. I don't want to start a bitching session about her either which is why I've kept my mouth shut about my concerns.

I guess how I really want this to go down is to get my friend to a point of understanding where she accepts that I like this guy and I'm not taking her feelings lightly, but that it's somewhat unreasonable to expect me not to have anything to do with him. I brought it up tonight, just discreetly, saying " X was texting me a lot last night, asking where I was etc", and she got a bit irritated with me, saying she hated that I was his friend when he hurt her so much. It was the first I'd heard of any hurt or heartache and I got the impression that it was a bit of a warning to me.

All I can take from that is that she maybe does still have a bit of a thing for him, or it's now been reignited, due to his extra interest in me and involvement in the group lately. Maybe I could take her out on a night next weekend where I encourage her to pace the drinking a bit so she gets talking to a few guys and maybe feels a bit better. Regardless of any of this other stuff, I'd like her to feel better about herself, not just so I can get my way!!

frustration!!

frustration!! wrote: »

Yep, totally agree on the issue of how this might affect her confidence and I mentioned upthread somewhere that I didn't want to aggravate her insecurities. I don't want to be the reason she feels bad about herself. There are enough people out there that can negatively affect you without your best friend numbering among them!

I wouldn't be overly worried about the rest of the group's reaction (towards me) as I'm the closest to her out of all the girls, and they already think she's overreacting. None of them know how close I've gotten to the guy but a few remarks have been passed along the lines of " Oh, you and X are very pally on each other's facebooks at the moment!" and my friend immediately said "Yeah but she wouldn't go near him because of me, I'm sure"... and that was received with no small amount of suprise, since her encounters with him were so brief. I don't want to start a bitching session about her either which is why I've kept my mouth shut about my concerns.

I guess how I really want this to go down is to get my friend to a point of understanding where she accepts that I like this guy and I'm not taking her feelings lightly, but that it's somewhat unreasonable to expect me not to have anything to do with him. I brought it up tonight, just discreetly, saying " X was texting me a lot last night, asking where I was etc", and she got a bit irritated with me, saying she hated that I was his friend when he hurt her so much. It was the first I'd heard of any hurt or heartache and I got the impression that it was a bit of a warning to me.

All I can take from that is that she maybe does still have a bit of a thing for him, or it's now been reignited, due to his extra interest in me and involvement in the group lately. Maybe I could take her out on a night next weekend where I encourage her to pace the drinking a bit so she gets talking to a few guys and maybe feels a bit better. Regardless of any of this other stuff, I'd like her to feel better about herself, not just so I can get my way!!

just after reading this...

god?? that's mad. all of a sudden, he hurt her???? did you ask her to elaborate on that? she cant just say a thing like that without explaining what happened, i mean she is so against you getting together after all. well and good she could be right but if she is lying/exaggerating about this then she has serious issues that i think go beyond trying to give her a confidence boost.

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

just after reading this...

god?? that's mad. all of a sudden, he hurt her???? did you ask her to elaborate on that? she cant just say a thing like that without explaining what happened, i mean she is so against you getting together after all. well and good she could be right but if she is lying/exaggerating about this then she has serious issues that i think go beyond trying to give her a confidence boost.

I personally feel she's exaggerating. She seemed to like him more before the fact and they spoke more before then, then whatever happened dynamic wise, they just didnt really get on, and on subsequent nights out they didn't score. He started kissing another girl, who became his girlfriend pretty quickly. My friend wasn't upset about this. She'd sit with them on a night out and have chats with them. She went to the girlfriend's birthday and got her a great present. This wasn't just passive-aggressive, reverse psychlogy style behaviour. She just wasn't bothered.

To be honest, the more I've thought about it, the less inclined I am to follow her wishes. I've been in contact with him a lot and turned down three requests to meet over the weekend. Dying to just go for a drink with him. I feel guilty and like I'm being a total self-serving bitch even formulating these thoughts about her and writing them down, but bar one more courtesy conversation with her, I don't think I owe her all that much more, particularly after all of these allegations of being hurt by him have recently surfaced..!

CDfm

OP there are certain ethics about friends etc.

i take it she means hurt her emotionally and probably because he did not want to date her,

fair enough -she may have a point.

no they were never an item so go for it.

her reaction of course will be that you are to blame for them noit getting together.

whether or not he is all you say he is only time will tell, her word isnt worth jack here so you will have to take him as you find him,

best of luck - she may not speak to you for a while but if thats the dynamic within your group it is not nesscessarily a bad thing.

Peggypeg

Now, I know this is kinda evil but if it was me, I'd call her bluff and tell the guy that you really like him and that you'd love to go out with him but she's giving out stink. Ask him to talk to her and get the all clear from her that you two go out. She'll be so embarrassed that she'll have to agree. I mean if you're dealing with a 12 year old then why not treat them like one. If anything comes up you can say "well he asked why I was brushing him off and I told him". What can she say after that? You could lose the friendship though, if she doesn't realise what a childish idiot she's been. To be quite honest with you I'm kinda laughing reading this tread, I'm 27 and if one of my friends "booked" a guy the way she did I seriously would be off to the shops to get them some sweeties and a my little pony magazine. I mean COME ON!!!!

CDfm

Peggypeg wrote: »

Now, I know this is kinda evil but if it was me, I'd call her bluff and tell the guy that you really like him and that you'd love to go out with him but she's giving out stink. Ask him to talk to her and get the all clear from her that you two go out. She'll be so embarrassed that she'll have to agree. I mean if you're dealing with a 12 year old then why not treat them like one. If anything comes up you can say "well he asked why I was brushing him off and I told him". What can she say after that? You could lose the friendship though, if she doesn't realise what a childish idiot she's been. To be quite honest with you I'm kinda laughing reading this tread, I'm 27 and if one of my friends "booked" a guy the way she did I seriously would be off to the shops to get them some sweeties and a my little pony magazine. I mean COME ON!!!!

I wouldn't even go there as this is buying into her game playing.She is a drama queen.

It takes 2 people to play a game and when 1 stops it is over.

Just deal with the guy and ignore her as if she does not exist.

martdalto

Well whatever you decide, you better decide it quick...

frustration!! wrote: »

I've...... turned down three requests to meet over the weekend.

Or he'll decide for you!

LegacyUser

Hey guys, OP here. I've actually gotten really productive advice here...Thank you!

Meeting him with a group of his friends on thursday night, so we'll see how that pans out..It's not an official date or anything, just hanging out in a group. We both kinda half hinted round it.."oh, I wanna go for drinks during the week..trying to get a crowd out.." and then he was saying he felt like getting out of the house too..that kinda thing.. I won't discuss it yet with my friend as it's a group of lads I'd have hung out with anyway.. She's not replying to texts etc since our conversation the other night, so I couldn't discuss it if I wanted to at this point. If I decide to take things further with him, I will have to have the awkward chat with her, but hopefully the fact that I've been a great friend to her, coupled with how long I've been waiting for something nice guy-wise to happen for me, will help her see sense in all of this... Fingers crossed!

I feel like I'm in a teen rom-com or a (less messy) episode of Skins..the drama of it is not very fitting for two girls our age!