afraid get intimate again

jackell

one night with my ex,we had been out when we came home i was tired so got into bed,and fell sleep on my side,he was cuddling me and then i felt him stick his penis into me has sex with me for few seconds it would of been,i told him to stop and i got out of bed went to another bed,next morn i said wot were up to last nite,he said sure u like that,i said yes if im awake told u i was tired.He never even said sorry,I didnt cudnt trust him again after that,found out while after i was pregnant,had my son ,my ex doesnt was anythin to do with my child but he rings and want me,if we didnt have the child we b great together,told him where to go,but now I have found a man,who has accpeted i have a child and knows it be hard but we goin make a go off it,my problem is when we get close i tense up,i want it to go further but get all tensed up,we were kissing ,I let him touch me on outside I wanted to go further but like something blockin me,he is willing to give us a try n wait but i cant keep sayin i be grand next time,dont want him to be affected by me.I have so much feeling for this lad,im falling in love with him,maybe i thinking to much and afraid of gettin close incase i get hurt,i really want make this work between us.

Anyone have any ideas how i can get over this prob?hope i made sense while writing this

Thanks

feel free to move in wrong section

LegacyUser

it will just take time im afraid.

my girlfriend was abused when she was younger and we had been together for 11 months with no penetration. i love her though so it was not a problem. he will freak out on occasions and will question whether or not you love him etc. i know i did.

but you have to be understanding of him when this happens just like he is being understanding of you now.

take it as slow as you need to and tell him that whatever happens it will happen on your terms.

eventually you will be ready.

Bonito

Hi Op. You're going to need closure from your ex. He took advantage and abused you. Others might even stretch as far to say he raped you as you were sleeping while he penetrated you so you obviously did not give consent. He sounds like a waste of space Op. Block him out from yours and your sons life. He already doesn't want to know about his child. Your new man is accepting you and your child so just relax. There's no deadline of when you take the extra step and take things further with your new boyfriend so just forget about your ex and concentrate on your new boyfriend and your son and let it play it in it's own time.

jackell

Thanks for your answers,yeah i am goin put closure on him,he is waste of space,I am goin get on with my life and my sons,I am goin show him my post I cant say it,never said to anyone before I feel bit better after writing and gettin answers of you,dont feel like it my fault,I was lettin it take over my life but goin put it behind me and start think postivly and take my time,

Thank you