Financially Worried

LegacyUser

So, like everyone else in the world, I'm feeling the pinch - but maybe a little more than others. I had a good job, and I left it for a girl I loved, moved across the water and took an even better job. Everything was perfect. Until job B went bankrupt and everyone was laid off. So now I'm looking for work, but to make things even weirder, my partner recently graduated from college and got her "dream job" within 4 days of her final exam. They gave her the job before she even got her results and, yes, she did that well and loves the new job.

But am I a bad person? For the last two weeks I've been sitting here in the apartment while my money has ran out and I've been listening to how much she loves her new job, and I'm just thinking, have I messed up? I'm actually starting to become really jealous of her out working and contributing and feeling really down that I can't find work. I'm looking everyday for a new position and have applied for about 30 jobs but it's a touch and go market out there, its all about who you know (and personally I'm not sure I know anyone that important) and Job A was only originally got because I was in the right place at the right time - does that luck strike again?

I went to college, I got qualifications (if they mean anything), but I'm eager and passionate and I want to work - there are just few jobs....

I'm out of money. She has money but I can't, won't, and don't expect her to start funding our social life...it was her birthday last week and I only had enough for a few stupid CDs, although she did like them I felt like a poor relation

Speaking of which, my parents and family cannot help me, I wouldn't dare ask anyone who wasn't my parents because I wouldn't consider myself close enough to anyone else and my parents have their own problems. I don't want to get a loan because I'm unsure as to whether I'd be approved, and I'm not going anywhere but a bank! I put in for the dole, for the first time in my entire life, and it's gonna take up to 3 weeks to get anything because of some admin backlog

I'm thinking, to ease my money worries, of selling some stuff (some of it she gave me, some of it was gifts from my parents etc) and although some of it is useful/means a lot etc, its just "stuff" that doesn't compare to how much I love her and I want this to work....I just don't know whether selling my things will give me the respite I need while I search for a job or whether I'm just fooling myself and she'll eventually end up leaving because I'm unemployed and have no money

mood

You can sign on in the UK if you are an EU citizen. At least you would have a small amount of money to keep you going until you get a job. Also take any job at all until you find a job in your field.

Sleepy

If you've not done so already, sign on.

I didn't think I knew many people who could help with networking either but if you sign up to linkedin and make an effort with your profile and conncting to former colleagues, joing groups related to your industry etc. you'll find opportunities which recruitment consultants don't know about and can just introduce yourself to former clients, suppliers, people who worked with people you know who are now in positions where your skills might be of interest to them etc.

I'm doing this at the moment and have had a few requests for my CV recently so it seems to be moving things in the right direction and if nothing else, it's helping my self esteem in that I know I'm *actively* looking for work instead of just firing CV's at jobs copied and pasted onto job sites by recruitment agencies.

faceman

You have 2 issues here OP. Your financial position and your self esteem. If you partner loves you, she will support you and understand. You should talk to her about how you feel. You are a victim of the recession and not on your own.

With regard to your financial position, as others have said, sign on if you arent doing so already. Also check out what else you may be entitled to. Dont be too proud to make claims that you are entitled to.

Finally, keep on the job hunt. Let that be your full time job. Get up in the morning early, scan the job sites, send your CV out. At least that way, you will feel that you are doing something. The recession wont last forever!

Best of luck, hope it all works out.

ChocolateRamses

That's a tough situation OP, sorry things went a bit south.

As regards your gf, she probably doesn't realise you're feeling this. She's just graduated, and gotten her dream job, and is living on cloud 9, while you're in the doldrums and she just can't see it right now. I know it's difficult but I'd try to be patient with her, maybe mention that you are feeling down about things, no need to mention the money if you don't want to, but it wouldn't hurt for her to know how you feel, and it will most certainly ease tensions.

As regards the money situation, something I've done in the past is to give grinds in subjects to leaving cert students. You have a degree, so I assume you've got pretty good skills in something, maybe maths, or a science? Or a language? There's demand for help in all those subjects, and you're close enough to having done them yourself that it's easier for students to relate to you. Really is a great way to make some fast money, and not a bad way to do it

Worth a thought anyway. Hope things improve man.