Nobody seems to understand

LegacyUser

This post may come across like I am just being miserable and panicing, but honestly please bare with me as I am looking for some advice.

I am in my final year of a level 8 degree. I scraped through last year and finished with an ordinary level 7 degree. I went through a lot of stress to get through last year, and really struggled with the course work. To be honest I was extremely lucky to have passed. I should have realised then that it was time for a change in direction for my career path, and I did briefly consider defferring the year while I decided what I wanted to do. But I decided to just go ahead and go into the final year for the level 8, mainly through kidding myself that if I just had a different approach to my work it would all be fine.

So I began the first semester of this year with the best possible approach I could to my work. But it is just not enough. I am always behind, always stressed out etc. I work really hard, I honestly do, but I just don't seem to get anywhere. I have just completed my Christmas exams for the first semester, and I really don't think I have passed. I feel I am in an even worse mess than I was this time last year, and I am not sure how much longer I can continue like this.

I have spoken to my family about this, and they don't seem to understand how desperate the situation is. My brother has completed college and keeps putting how I am feeling down to final year nerves. But it is not just that and I know it isn't. I have tried explaining the above stuff to them, and over the last weekend I think my brother got some concept of how hard I try and how far I don't get with this, and eased up on me slightly. But my parents keep telling me everyone has to do something that they don't like and to just get on with it. I am not trying to be dramatic, but I don't sleep anymore and I just cry all the time. I honestly think I have pushed myself as far as I can with this.

So basically the point I am getting to is this. I feel like I do just want to leave. But I feel like I also need some sort of plan for what to do if I leave. I am almost 25(I know I probably seem really immature for that too) so don't want to start an entirly new degree. Is it possible to do a postgrad with a level 7? Or where would I even look into finding some other courses to take me into a different career area. I have tried some searches online. But I'm finding it hard and am a bit all over the place.

I am not sure if I am being a coward with this. My parents keep telling me its better to try and fail. But currently the trying is making me want to die.

Shelga

Hi OP,

Ok breathe. The first thing you need to do is try to calm down, possibly easier said than done I know! I can identify with your situation- I too am in the final year of a level 8 degree, having done badly last year. It is possibly the most stressful time of your life right now; it may feel like you are the only one feeling this way, but many of us are experiencing similar thoughts!

I think the first thing you need to do is give yourself the weekend off. Do nothing. Don't even tell yourself you should be doing work. Have a bath, go for a walk, or to the cinema, whatever makes you feel relaxed. Then when Monday comes around, book an appointment to see someone from your careers advisory service. I found this an invaluable help; I put off going for months as I was embarrassed by my 3rd year results and thought they would hold me back, but the lady I spoke with was so, so helpful and reassuring. It's not just careers advice, they will be able to advise you on the best way to proceed with regard to your particular course, and motivate you!

Get organised. I know you said you did this at the beginning of the semester, but is your system really working? Just yesterday I bought a separate binder for each module, then organised all my work into class notes, tutorials and exam paper sections. I find even doing that gave me a boost and made me feel like I have all the information, I just have to utilise it. You may feel like your coursework is too heavy for you, but with 12-13 weeks still to until your next set of finals, anything is possible. Seriously. Have a little faith in your abilities. You have made it to the last year of a university degree, you are entitled to feel proud of yourself for that. (that's what I tell myself when it all gets too much anyway! )

Do you have a final year project due? Even if you don't have much done yet you can achieve so much before the due date. I know I keep repeating myself in that sense, but you need to start believing it! I think dropping out at this stage would be incredibly foolish, you will be done with college forever in 3-4 months, and will be glad you did it. Your first semester exams are in the past, you can't change that now so focus on the next ones. You may think you did badly, but is extremely rare for someone to fail their finals.

Talk to people. Your parents sound like kind people who just want to do what's best for you. They are not pushing you to get a first; just do your best. You owe yourself that. Perhaps arrange a session with a college counsellor, as your last few sentences were a bit alarming. Talk to friends and REALLY tell them how you feel. I find this an enormous help.

Finally, the key thing you need to do is start believing in yourself. It sounds so cheesy but it's so true. If I accepted that my third year results were the best I was ever going to achieve, I would be letting myself down. Because I KNOW I can do better, and so can you. Stop beating yourself up and start being nicer to yourself. Start now.

I feel like I just want to give you a hug, because there are so many of us in
4th year feeling the same! Good luck.

LegacyUser

I have to agree with your parents. You probably have another 4 months until your exams. Crawl through the finish line if you have to.. you've come this far so you might as well finish. They can't take your pass degree off you and your cv will look better if it says "attended college for 4 years to Jun 2010" rather than "got stressed out and dropped out in February."

Attend all your lectures and try chatting to your lecturers a bit so they don't mark you as hard in projects and exams. And obviously just try your best.

If your assignments are marked low try to find out where you're going wrong. Despite lecturers asking for a "2000 word essay" some will mark you higher for a 5000 word essay, while others will penalise you heavily for going over their work limit. Some lecturers want your own opinion on everything and to disagree with all the authors, others will want loads of quotes.. lecturers always mark you high if your references are laid out well. Some want to see 4 good sources of reference, others will want to see a reference for every line you write. Read over your friend's assignments if they scored well in a particular subject.

Regarding exam technique. Studying should involve 30% reading and 70% practicing questions (closed book, with a time limit).

In the exam, always jot down an answer plan. Understand and hit the main points, then bulls*** around them. Manage your time in the exam well. You will get more points for half-answering every question than doing a really good answer to one question and not getting around to later questions.

lau1247

OP

I was in quite similar situation as you before.. it was a tough 4 years and many time I felt like I can't get through it anymore..

My parents was very supportive in that they always tell me just to try my best.. plain and simple..

I believe you need a motivation factor.. my motivation at the time was that my parents was just about at breaking point in terms of funds to get me through university.. Option for repeat was not available.. I just simply face the fact, thought of my consequences and work harder than ever..

I made it through and I believe you can too..

tenchi-fan

Hi Op
Another consideration... if you drop out in your final year you will be disqualified from getting the dole until the end of the academic year. I don't mean to pile the pressure on, just be aware that dropping out will be of no benefit to you.

I think dropping out at this late stage could be a big mistake. It's probably the first really thing you took on with so you're a bit scared that you might not do as well as you previously thought.. maybe your standards are too high. But maybe you're just being too hard on yourself.

And what's this about a postgrad? There's no need to worry about this yet. Concentrate all your efforts on getting the undergrad finished with first! If you are doing a postgrad there will be an interview stage so you're going to want to be able to say you finished your degree.