Why can't men be more like women sometimes

WillyNilly · 27-01-2010 2:35am #1

Why are men so damn frustrating to deal with! I have to deal with one regularly who keeps promising to do things and rarely ever gets round to it. If I give up waiting and start doing it myself he goes mental. Why should i wait a month for him to do something that will take 5 minutes and have to remind him 5 or 6 times to do it when it's something that should be getting done every week.

Just needed a little rant before i head off to work.

minidazzler · 27-01-2010 2:42am

Nice, 1 guy means we are all lazy bastids???

Why not get him reprimanded by HR?

grenache · 27-01-2010 4:59am

Women are much more organised creatures, no doubt about that. Us men tend to be a little all over the place with so many aspects of our lives, mainly time-keeping, general tidyness, meeting deadlines, etc.

metrovelvet · 27-01-2010 9:26am

I'm convinced they have a different sense of time than we do.

BennyLava · 27-01-2010 9:29am

For most men, things are only as important as the person asking/ telling you to do them, OP he just doesn't think he has to listen to you, ergo what you ask him to do gets put on the long finger

kmick · 27-01-2010 9:36am

Its your behaviour thats driving his behaviour. If you ask multiple times then he knows he always has another chance. Ask once and make clear you will only ask once. Now all you have to do is find some suitable downside if he does not do it.

biko · 27-01-2010 9:42am

1. Remind him once and then do it yourself.

2. I'm one of those people that have to do it immediately or I simply forget.
Make sure he has the time right now and then tell him to do whatever needs doing, and make sure he does it immediately.
Don't rattle off 4-5 things and expect him to remember to do them over a week. He probably has other things to remember too and yours get pushed out.

3. It depends on what it is that needs doing. Small things gets forgotten.

pickarooney · 27-01-2010 9:53am

I don't know if this is a work or personal thing, but why would you wait months for someone to do something that will only take 5 minutes? If it's an employee you need to discipline him.

Novella · 27-01-2010 11:58am

Sounds like you think you are dealing with a child. Tbh, I'd find it pretty frustrating if someone repeatedly asked me to do something. A lot of the time, the problem is how you are communicating with a person.
If you say, "Oh my god, look at this huge bloody mess you've made, tidy it up now ffs" (or whatever) and storm off, you are less likely to get a positive response. If you try, "Would you mind tidying up a little when you get a chance? I'd really appreciate it", you'll probably find it'll happen no problem.

Also, sometimes, different people have different priorities. You might really, really want the car washed for example, whereas another person might think it looks fine. If something is bothering you a lot, it can often be a lot easier to deal with it yourself. That's what I find anyway.

You could also try compromise. Just set out things that you do and things for him to do, then you'll be less likely to have to nag.

cruizer101 · 27-01-2010 12:16pm

Our minds just work funny, I've often been asked to do something and literally 10 seconds later have forgot about it, if its not important to me its not important.

Even when it is important to me I forget: 'I must go downstairs and put on a wash of my clothes, I'll just get a cup of tea while i'm here, hmmm I wonder whats on TV' 4 hours later 'Crap I forgot to put on the wash'

I used to walk by a postbox on way to school so my mum used to sometimes give me something to post, I would walk by it letter in hand and forget until I got to school and someone asked whats the letter for.

We don't mean to forget we just do, as suggested say it when it can be done straight away, writing it down might also work a bit better, but no guarantee.

27-01-2010 2:00pm

WillyNilly wrote: »

Why are men so damn frustrating to deal with! I have to deal with one regularly who keeps promising to do things and rarely ever gets round to it. If I give up waiting and start doing it myself he goes mental. Why should i wait a month for him to do something that will take 5 minutes and have to remind him 5 or 6 times to do it when it's something that should be getting done every week.

Just needed a little rant before i head off to work.

This is a work thing? Alot of men will say yes, just to please you now. When they mean no.
What you do is when they agree, you hijack them and get them to do it right away.

_Whimsical_ · 27-01-2010 2:03pm

WillyNilly wrote: »

Why are men so damn frustrating to deal with! I have to deal with one regularly who keeps promising to do things and rarely ever gets round to it.

Only the one? Well done. I know a couple of those.:rolleyes:

partyguinness · 27-01-2010 2:04pm

...because life would be very boring and nobody would be talking to each other.

The Recliner · 27-01-2010 2:06pm

grenache wrote: »

Us men tend to be a little all over the place with so many aspects of our lives, mainly time-keeping, general tidyness, meeting deadlines, etc.

Hmm these are all things that I am good at or are important to me

Maybe I am not a bloke after all

Raze_them_all · 27-01-2010 3:02pm

kmick wrote: »

Its your behaviour thats driving his behaviour. If you ask multiple times then he knows he always has another chance. Ask once and make clear you will only ask once. Now all you have to do is find some suitable downside if he does not do it.

He's not a child you can't negatively reinforce an adult, it just makes you look dickish.

pickarooney wrote: »

I don't know if this is a work or personal thing, but why would you wait months for someone to do something that will only take 5 minutes? If it's an employee you need to discipline him.

She says she deals with him, which would mean not an employee.

Kimia · 27-01-2010 3:11pm

I too would like to know the answer to this never ending conundrum. It's so frustrating. If something needs to be done only once a week and they refuse to do this, what do you do? I just end up doing it myself it's less hassle. And there is no point just not doing it coz the only head that ends up wrecked is mine. And there's no point arguing about it because he just does not notice it or gets very defensive. What is the solution?

Nevyn · 27-01-2010 3:14pm

Other then find a grown up to live with who cares and respect you enough to know that household chores are better of done and dusted so you can both relax and see the house as a shared responsibility or find some I don't care pills and drop your standards of living I don't honestly know.

I do think that worse then having to do it myself if having to re do it when it's done in a petulant manner so half arsed I have to re do it or finish it myself.

Why can't men be more like women sometimes

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