texting help

gavney1

Hey,

First off, I hate texting ppl, it does my head in. Would much rather talk to someone on the phone

Anyway, met a girl I like a couple of weekends ago. Kissed her etc.. then she asked ME out (so obviously I thought she's interested, so great).
This was a saturday night. My usual rule is to text the next day, but I'd gotten no replies from girls after doing this on a couple of occassion recently, so I decided to try the stupid 3 day rule (which usually I think is bent )

But I said to her "ill give you a call on tuesday to arrange to meet up on the weekend". She told me she didn't think I'd call, for some reason, don't know why, cause I really like her. So, rang her on Tuesday, but she didn't pick up, but texted and she replied (maybe she doesn't like talking on the phone, I imagine some girls are like that)

Anyway, we met up again last Saturday again but it didn't go quite according to plan as her friend was having some drama over an ex-bf, so we didn't get to talk much.

She apologised for it not being much of a date, which is fine, wasn't her fault (and I like that she was caring enough to look after her friend).
Then, she suggested we meet up during the week, and I said yeah, that'd be great

Then texted her sunday evening, general chit chat - after a couple of back and forth texts, I asked her if she was still up for meeting up during the week.....................to which she has not replied....

the same thing happened on the first round of texts i.e. 1. she had asked me out 2. i texted her, general chit chat for a while then 3. i asked her if she still wanted to meet up and finally 4. no reply for days....


I know I shouldn't have done the 3 day thing at the start - was stupid and immature, the kind of thing I usually avoid. But now the shoe is on the other foot, I'm wondering has she changed her mind about me?

She seems quite hot and cold. One minute, she's asking me out, the next minute she's taking ages to reply.

Anyway, don't suppose anyone can help me here, as not a huge amount of info to go on. But just thought I'd get it off my chest in any case!

Liam Byrne

gavney1 wrote: »

First off, I hate texting ppl, it does my head in. Would much rather talk to someone on the phone

Slightly OT, but had to smile at the use of "ppl" in that context.

gavney1 wrote: »

Then texted her sunday evening, general chit chat - after a couple of back and forth texts, I asked her if she was still up for meeting up during the week.....................to which she has not replied....
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the same thing happened on the first round of texts i.e. 1. she had asked me out 2. i texted her, general chit chat for a while then 3. i asked her if she still wanted to meet up and finally 4. no reply for days....

Firstly, a text or two is OK, but "conversations" via text - text + reply + text + reply + text + reply - are draining. You should know that as you don't like texting yourself.

Texts should be for quick one-question one-answer communication; nothing more.

Secondly, you said "no reply for days"; does that mean that she eventually replied ? Maybe she had no credit or whatever ? What did she say when she replied ?

If she didn't mention it at all, then the double lack of reply to the question itself would mean that I'd take that as a "not interested", tbh....

Why would you want to be with someone that makes you second-guess that much, anyways ?

kat151283

hey

I think she might have doubts about you and that's why she's not replying so if i was you i wouldn't txt her anymore leave it up to her now and see what she does and if she doesnt txt you are probably better off because she's obviously playing games with you.

Also that three day rule thing is stupid it has nothing at all to do with why she's not txting us girls are not that fickle about things like that.

gavney1

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Slightly OT, but had to smile at the use of "ppl" in that context.

lol

gavney1

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Secondly, you said "no reply for days"; does that mean that she eventually replied ? Maybe she had no credit or whatever ? What did she say when she replied ?

If she didn't mention it at all, then the double lack of reply to the question itself would mean that I'd take that as a "not interested", tbh....

Why would you want to be with someone that makes you second-guess that much, anyways ?

she eventually replied yeah. And btw, just to be clear, I haven't been hassling her with texts. If I've sent altogether maybe 15 texts, she has sent only 1 less, so 14

And she seems to be into the chit-chat via text. I'm not into the chit-chat, I just want to meet up with her. Like, she's asking me questions about myself via text and all, so she seems interested in me, but then I ask her out......

and I agree with you, going by the text evidence alone, I should be thinking she's not interested.

But there's two major things that just don't add up with that
1. on the two occassion I've met her SHE suggested we meet up again (twice) but then seemed reluctanct to confirm later
2. she seemed really paranoid that I wasn't into her on the night I met her - which gives me the impression that she likes me - although maybe that's a completely wrong interpretation.


NOW, having said all that, I still think it's more likely than not that she's just not interested BUT I haven't liked a girl on first impressions this much for a few years, so I'm still gonna hope for the best

Just to make sure I don't text her again though, I've deleted her number and all messages from her (and from her to me).
If she replies to me (without giving me a good excuse) I'm just gonna send her a serious message asking her to explain what she's at.
If she replies to me WITH an excuse, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and just carry on as before
If she doesn't reply - I'll track her down and stalk her for a few weeks....seems like the mature response

LegacyUser

Hi Gavney

I'm sorry for your head being wrecked but I've had almost an identical thing happen with a guy. We met in a club, major kissing all nite, he text me the next day (that 3 day rule is awful - PLS never do that again, game playing), then text me 2 days after that and the next day we met up and had a lovely time and nothing since. I texted him but no reply.

Its very very bloody annoying as, like your girl, this guy seemed so interested with the texting and arranging to meet me and all that. Its very puzzling and like you too, i was into this guy very quickly and felt comfortable chatting to him.

I think its just one of those things. I hate to say this though but I wonder does she have a boyfriend cos the fact that you rang her and she didn't answer and then texted you. It was like she couldn't talk to you cos someone was with her but texting was ok. Don't want to piss you off saying that though but its a possibility??

gavney1

knowwhatyoumean wrote: »

Hi Gavney

I'm sorry for your head being wrecked but I've had almost an identical thing happen with a guy. We met in a club, major kissing all nite, he text me the next day (that 3 day rule is awful - PLS never do that again, game playing), then text me 2 days after that and the next day we met up and had a lovely time and nothing since. I texted him but no reply.

Its very very bloody annoying as, like your girl, this guy seemed so interested with the texting and arranging to meet me and all that. Its very puzzling and like you too, i was into this guy very quickly and felt comfortable chatting to him.

I think its just one of those things. I hate to say this though but I wonder does she have a boyfriend cos the fact that you rang her and she didn't answer and then texted you. It was like she couldn't talk to you cos someone was with her but texting was ok. Don't want to piss you off saying that though but its a possibility??

Yeah, I know the 3 day thing is completely stupid. I hear my guy friends talking about how they do it, and I've always cringed. I've never done it before and I'll never ever do it again, it's bizarrely stupid and immature

I hadn't considered that she might have a bf tbh. But now I'm considering it as a possibility. I asked her friend the other night if this girl had recently broken up with anyone - and she kind of avoided the question - like she didn't reply immediately but eventually said "yeah yeah, she was with someone recently", which I didn't think anything of at the time.

I suppose it would make sense - but at the same time - both nights I met her were Saturday nights - I imagine if she had a bf, she would have met up with him at some stage on a Saturday night? maybe not though, maybe he's a barman, who knows. Or I suppose she could've broken up with him recently..
Either way, doesn't change anything really, she hasn't texted me back now since Sunday night, whatever the reason, she's not interested so I'll just have to forget about her

Anyway, thanks for ur input knowwhatyoumean - I hope that this guy gets back to you - if not - do you wanna get together?

Spark Boy

Hey ive had this happen to me once and since then havent got to go through it cause ive learned about these sorta people.. firstly in my opinion nothing is ever going to come of this and hence you have to just forget it and leave it behind. Secondly, she will text u again in the future to which the best thing is tooo just leave it (if yer like myself that seems awful rude but the fact she can't be arsed txing you for days weeks says alot). People like this promise the world, the converation flows, everything is perfect and then they realise your into them and they cant give a crap from there on in. SIMPLE.... in the future if people get back to you within a reasonable time frame, then go for it, theyre worth yer time. and believe me she will tx u again, just wait, the one thing they hate is not getting attention..

LegacyUser

gavney1 wrote: »

Anyway, thanks for ur input knowwhatyoumean - I hope that this guy gets back to you - if not - do you wanna get together?

ahhh thanks for the offer !!!

Yeah I've been sick about the guy and i'm even going to the place where we met in a couple of weeks so i'm wondering will he be there. I hate to say it but i'd kinda like it if he was. He just seemed so interested and was all coy and bashful when we were chatting.

Oh well.......