what to do advice needed.

unknownfact

Im looking for advice here I broke up with my girlfriend who I was with for a year and four months about tree months ago. It was her that finished it with me, she said she didnt feel the same anymore and wanted to spend more time with her friends. This came as a complete shock to me as the day before everything seemed fine. When she finished it with me I was in a terrible state and what made matters worse was she wouldnt talk to me for weeks after it and would ignore me if she saw me. I was her first real boyfriend and she was my first real girlfriend and we did everything together we were best friends and would do anything for each other.

As time passed on I was still in a terrible state but felt like i was coming back to normal I was slowly accepting that she was gone, After about a month she made contact with me out of nowhere and said she wanted to see me. When I met up with her she said sorry to me for the way she treated me when we first broke up. She said she really missed me and wanted to be friends but kept giving me hints that she would like to get back with me if things were different. I kept asking her if what was different but she would never tell me. Then just like that she was gone again ignoring me for weeks. I was back in a terrible state, during this time i was out at a night club and ended up kissing some girl when i was drunk. My ex girlfriend found out about it and told me she was really angry with me because she wasnt with anyone since we broke up. She started talking to me again and told me that she was now back with some fella she had being with before she was with me, (this fella is a proper scumbag he is heavy into drugs starts fights every week and is looking at jail time) When I found this out i was really hurt and i wanted to hurt her like she hurt me, so i started seeing one of her old friends who she now hates. I found out this was driving her insane from one of her friends. I finished it with that girl a few weeks later and my old girlfriend got back in contact with me she finished it with that fella aswell.

She was ringing me every night for a week keeping me on the phone for up to 8 hours a night, crying to me telling me she misses me. She told me she should of gotten back with me at the start and its to late now and she regrets it, She also told me all her friends hate me so she could never get back with me. She also told me she only got with that fella to make me jelous and it was the only person she could get with at the time. During these phone calls she kept giving me hints she would like to be back with me but also telling me she wouldnt ever get back together.

I havnt talked to her in a few weeks now sometimes she sends me the odd text but thats it. I feel worse then ever at this point i just cant get over her because all i want to do is get back with her. What can i do to get her back or if that cant be done what can i do to make it easyer to get over her.

Wagon

Don't get back with her at all. It's a very bad idea. She dumped you, she ignored you, then lead you on, then ignored you, then got angry at you when you kissed another girl, she got with some lad to hurt you, you got with her old mate, but you later broke up and then she breaks up with your man. then she has you on the phone, telling you she wants to be with you but cant...

she's NEVER going to want to be with you because if she did, you wouldnt be posting here. she's keeping you around because she can ring you when she feels lonely. you are an emotional crutch to her, not a friend. and look at where things have left you now!

get rid. tell her to fúck off and dont take anymore of this crap. trust me, you'll feel better a lot faster. right now you should be doing fine and getting on with life and she's causing you to stay miserable and pining. for your own sake, tell her to bugger off.

unattendedbag

OP you never mentioned what age you or your ex are, but im guessing from your post its somewhere in and around the teens.

A few things stood out for me...

When I found this out i was really hurt and i wanted to hurt her like she hurt me, so i started seeing one of her old friends who she now hates.

she only got with that fella to make me jelous and it was the only person she could get with at the time.

She also told me all her friends hate me so she could never get back with me.

What can i do to get her back

Any of the above thinking in a relationship makes for an unhealthy emotional tit-for-tat state of mind with plenty of desperation. The worst thing that happened to you here was that she contacted you after the first breakup. Since you asked for advice, here is the best advice I can give you... Cut all contact and distance yourself from her. It will be hard at first but will eventually get easier. The first time she ignored you was hard but you said yourself it was getting easier.

As time passed on I was still in a terrible state but felt like i was coming back to normal I was slowly accepting that she was gone,

And that was only after a month.

Chinafoot

Agree with the above. Cut her off. She seems to think she can pick you up and put you down when it suits her. Totally out of order and I'd be having none of it if I were you.

Your relationship is over and as such she has no right to be annoyed with you for being with someone else. You're both going around in circles with this tit-for-tat rubbish. Best thing for you to do is to stay away from her. Don't answer her calls or texts, don't meet up with her. She doesn't want to be your friend, she wants you there pining for her for when she needs an ego boost.

Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. I know it's a hard thing to do when there are strong feelings involved but walking away from her is your best bet.

Best of luck.

unknownfact

Thanks for the replies everybody Im not going to bother with her anymore even tho its very hard. Shes like a different person then she was just a few months ago. Another thing which was bothering me was when she was ringing me she kept telling me different girls i should go out with now that were not together anymore, If anybody can make any sense out of that it would be very appreciated. Thanks.

Wagon

unknownfact wrote: »

Thanks for the replies everybody Im not going to bother with her anymore even tho its very hard. Shes like a different person then she was just a few months ago. Another thing which was bothering me was when she was ringing me she kept telling me different girls i should go out with now that were not together anymore, If anybody can make any sense out of that it would be very appreciated. Thanks.

She wants you to get with someone else so she can allieviate her guilt. She doesnt care about your happiness, only hers.

Again, a text with the words "fúck off and bother someone else" should sort this out

unknownfact

Thanks for that it really helps, im doing my best to forget about her now. Just the thought of her being with somebody else can leave me annoyed for days.

unattendedbag

Wagon wrote: »

Again, a text with the words "fúck off and bother someone else" should sort this out

Dont follow this advice. No point throwing petrol into the fire.

Just the thought of her being with somebody else can leave me annoyed for days.

Dont worry about it. If you know someone else is with her then just tell yourself that she is gonna do exactly to them as she did to you. Your one step ahead of them.