Have I Done The Right Thing With No Contact?

LegacyUser

I need some reasurance that I've done the right thing.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me early last summer. It killed me, i was heartbroken, all that stuff. we weren't in contact for a while but then i got back in touch with him and then he was doing more than his fair share of initiating contact with me. we started sleeping together again then and i was delighted thinking there was a real chance but he still said he didn't feel the same way about me. so this went on for weeks as i was living in hope day after day that something would click in his head and he'd want to be my bf again. It never happened.

So last week I finally got the courage to email him telling him not to contact me anymore as there is no point to it but now i'm feeling that i was too hasty but that sounds thick as we broke up months ago and he knows i'm still mad about him. I'm sure he does still have feelings for me as he even got me xmas pressies and he was texting me a couple of times over xmas.

But if the other person doesn't feel the same, then you have to stop contact right?
Its been hard to move on as hes been contacting me when i've been trying to get over him and then i'm back to square one so i felt i'd no choice but to tell him to leave me be. But i'm getting weak now and regretting it.

Any advice to push me forward would be great.

SarahSassy

moving-forward wrote: »

we started sleeping together again then and i was delighted thinking there was a real chance but he still said he didn't feel the same way about me.

Unfortunately there is your answers... The only thing that will get you through this is a bit of self belief... Why you do want to be with someone who is happy to have his way with you but not be your boyfriend? The fact you posted here means you know its not enough... Do what you need to do and if that means no contact then so be it... Best of luck.

LegacyUser

SarahSassy wrote: »

Unfortunately there is your answers... The only thing that will get you through this is a bit of self belief... Why you do want to be with someone who is happy to have his way with you but not be your boyfriend? The fact you posted here means you know its not enough... Do what you need to do and if that means no contact then so be it... Best of luck.

in fairness to him, the sleeping together was my idea. he would never have suggested it.
so honestly he isn't a scummy guy like that, he wasn't having his way at all in that sense.
but obviously it doesn't justify him being with me.

Sephiroth_dude

If you wanna get over him your gonna have to cut contact and stick to it even he contacts you.Keep yourself busy and in time you'll get over him.

Lucyx

you're not on the same page at all so theres no point in continuing to see him.

It just takes time op. Once you stop seeing him and time passes you'll feel better and know its for the best.

lly

Hi

Just thought I would share that I am doing the same thing....
I broke contact with my ex last week after a month or so of being in touch following our break up. It was just to hard to stay in touch, although I wanted to.
As your name is 'moving forward' (very apt ) that is what you have to do. You will miss him, and I know how it feels. But no body deserves to be in a relationship that is not giving you the emotional support that you need. In a sucessful relationship both people should know the other one loves them.
I know as well as missing him, its the hope that was there, and then the fear of doing it all again (and I am not a young thing anymore...)

Good luck. It will get easier. Just keep busy and focus on the good stuff in your life .

kenbrady

moving-forward wrote: »

in fairness to him, the sleeping together was my idea. he would never have suggested it.

He broke up with you, because he doesn't want to be your boyfriend.
You then offered him sex, in an attempt to win him back.

That was a bad move you have devalued yourself in his eyes and reduced yourself to a sex thing. If he had an feelings for you, he wouldn't sleep with you. As it would be too hard to separate his feeling from the sex.

The relationship is over. Stop worrying about him Or fearing that if you cut contact it will prevent you getting back together. There is no hope of getting back together.

Starting doing what you require to move on. Cutting contact is the first step.

LegacyUser

wow kenbrady you're harsh!!

i definitely didn't devalue myself with the sex. That was all my idea and I really wanted sex and it was great to do it with someone i still care about. i'm not saying he's a super guy and actually he shouldn't have slept with me if he wasn't mad about me, but he didn't treat me like a sex object or anything like that.

but the other stuff i need to hear, that i HAVE done the right thing regarding contact.

great posts from lly and sf