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hints on getting over a breakup?

  • 18-01-2010 1:44pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hey all,

    how do you get over a break up,?? Im just after deciding to end it with my bf, i was treated terribly and put up with it too long by giving him all the chances he asked for, he has really overstepped the mark this time and ive finally decided enough is enough and i have to move on with my life,,

    we were together 4 years and im really serious about doing this for me,, my question is when i begin to feel low, depressed, miss him what will i do,??
    im not contacting him - but if i feel like im going to have a moment of weakness how do i shake it off,,, ???

    i really need to stick to my guns here but i know it will not be easy as i do love him still..

    any advice is appreciated from people who have been throught this,,,, i know it will get easier but when, and how do i help myself throught this..

    thanks


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi there,

    Firstly once you are 100% about your decision then well done on making the call to get out of a situation that is not right for you! I was with my ex for 2 & half years and it took me at least 6-8 months to decide to finish things a bite the bullet, as in your situation he did something that was way outside the boundaries of a trusting relationship and so I had to end it, despite part of me still loving him. If the decision is right then this is the number one thing to keep in your mind - why did you break up have you tried to fix it without success etc etc.

    Secondly I think there is no point in being unrealistic, you will miss him, you will want to conatct him and you will want to be in a relationship. In my case I wont lie I tried to cut all contact and failed, text him a few times etc, it is hard to block someone who knows so much about you but in most cases it will lead to arguments and so will help you not text him again. I think there is no way to say oh do this and it will be grand. It won't, it'll suck, you'll want someone good, bad or indifferent but thats only for a short period of time. As long as you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and have family/friends around you to remind you of this then you will be okay until you get to the point where you are happy single!

    Or of course you could be really lucky and have such a sense of relief when you do it that you dont dwell on it! good luck anyway!


  • #3
    pretty-in-pink
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭pretty-in-pink


    I'll give you the best advice I ever heard. It might seem like acop out, but its the best thing for working:

    Time heals all wounds- but give time , time.

    Keep yourself busy to occupy that time- but it will get easier. Honest


  • #4
    edvedfan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 48 ✭edvedfan


    Well done for being so strong, it's a tough decision to make but you seem sure it's for the best!

    The best advice i can give you is to surround yourself in your friends and go out, have fun, meet the girls and chat about how you're feeling. There are going to be times when it's hard but sure remember you always have friends in Ben and Jerrys icecream :p

    Ah no seriously though, just concentrate on going out and having fun with your friends and the rest will fall into place


    Good luck :)


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thanks very much for responses,, yes i have given him loads of chances and made plenty of efforts to try and make our relationship work but i was only fooling myself, i am fighting a loosing battle with the last few months, but what is annoying me is he would sit there everytime and say "hes sorry,he knows he was wrong, didnt mean to upset me, wants to make it work cause he loves me" and i believed him,, why did he even bother feeding me that crap if he wasnt even going to try,,,,

    anyway I know ill have to go out but really dont want to bump into him, or his friends for a while, dont really think i could cope with that.. im doing the whole cut all contact thing and when we all drink in the same bars it would kinda defeat the purpose of it if i was to go in and see them there,, i think anyway,,,

    im a bit more emotional today than i was yesterday but im doing this and not going back on my word this time, thanks for letting me know it will be total crap over the next while, at least i know what to expect,,, ive just never been in this position before,,,,


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