Severe lethargy

LegacyUser

I'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible, as I could go on for pages literally...

I think I've been suffering from depression for the best part of a year now, after it had gone away for a year of so. I haven't always been depressed or anything, but I haven't been swinging off lamp-posts when going down the street either. I have my good days and my bad days. I've been having a lot more bad than good lately. It's not always really feeling of depression lately as such, although it can be at times. I just seem to lack the willpower or energy to do anything.

I have weight problems going back a good few years and a combination of that and just general depression eventually led to me losing my job a couple of years ago. I am in my mid-20's and have been back living in the family home for the last year. I returned to college in 2008, but I gave up on it in the middle of the year.

I returned to the college before the exams, just to try just with the intention of seeking the help of a councillor. While I found help there and was encouraged to do my exams, eventually I gave up on it again. I saw the college GP and while she made a quick diagnosis of depression, I never returned for a follow-up.

It's now got to the stage where I am living in in my parents house and stopped collecting unemployment a couple of months back, after missing a payment day due to being ill.

I can't explain why, but I just never went back to the DSW to sort things out. Now I'm in a situation where they'll want to know how the hell I've been supporting myself... Basically I'm just living here and not really going anywhere, as I don't have any money anyway.

I don't feel I can go to my GP as I had a couple of visits a few years ago and forgot to pay the bill at the time and don't feel I can return.

I dunno, I feel like I've backed myself into a corner...

LegacyUser

I didn't really mention what my main problem is now...

In order for me to get my life back I need to get some sort of money from the social welfare in order that I can look for work again and move out of the family home to somewhere there might actually be some jobs.

I just don't know how I'm going to be able to sort myself out. I don't have a medical card, so am not really able to seek medical help, along with the fact that I have left an unpaid bill with my GP for a long time.

I can't explain why, but I shut myself away for a long time and I resisted any attempts by the DSW to contact me.

I just keep going round in circles in my head and always end up not doing anything.

alias06

First you need to sort out your social welfare and then settle your bill with your doctor. Just concentrate on getting this much done. Tell social welfare you were depressed and you should be able to back claim for the payments you missed. The doc won't care once you pay the bill these things happen all the time. Tell your folks that this is your plan - maybe they will help you. Maybe you have a sibling or friend who can help you with the forms etc.? Be open about the fact that you are suffering from depression.

Then you need to make appointments.

Keep things simple. One step at a time and give yourself credit along the way.

None of this is easy. You are stuck in a rut, beating yourself up for being useless and not good enough. One small step at a time with plenty of self-encouragement and small rewards and you can start to climb out of the hole.

Think about attending some support groups such as Aware because they are free and might give you some focus and direction.

anucksunamun

Well done on seeking advice on this. This is the first step.

I think perhaps to get this in focus you should try see this from other peoples point of view, particularly your parents? It cannot be easy on them seeing you like this every single day, not even participating at all in the household bills, especially when you are entitled to social welfare payments.

You seem to be very deep in a rut of (imho) deluding yourself, things have gone wrong for you, you have given up on many different things in life.. you obviously do not want to spend your life like this.. so take the obvious steps.. stop feeling so sorry for yourself.. (plenty of overweight people work, i dont understand that point at all..)

You may think I am being cruel to you, or that I dont understand depression, but if you try and see it as being 'tough love', dont give up on yourself, but you have to take some ownership of what has happened too.. its easy to say all these things have gone wrong.. and excuse whatever part you had in them going wrong. I genuinely hope that you feel better soon, but i genuinely believe unless you get the lead out and just do as the previous poster expressed you could drift along indefinitely like this. Do you want that?

tenchi-fan

it costs about €40 to go to the gp. beg, borrow or steal the money. see if he can diagnose you, then march down to the dsw with the sick note and get them to backdate your dole. I don't know if this is possible but it would really be confronting the problem head on!

All that stuff about getting a medical card and getting the dole so you can move out and live your life.. that's all well and good saying but I know many, many young people who live at home with their parents and are on the dole. They stay in bed til noon, then get up and go on the internet to look for jobs. Then watch crap on youtube, then flick on the tv, then get a dominos... and when asked what they did all day they'll reply "looked for jobs on the internet. there weren't any." Getting the dole isn't a life changing experience.

Throw a spanner in the works. Set your alarm clock for 8am tomorrow morning. Get up, have breakfast and pack a few sandwiches. if your parents ask tell them you're going out and you'll be back by evening time. And just go for a very long walk off the beaten track. There's a saying, "you gotta lose yourself to find yourself" and that might be the first step toward getting your life on track.

Disclaimer: I don't know if this will do you any good but it won't cost you a penny and it will give you some time to reflect on where you want to be. If anything it will burn a few calories and get your blood pumping.

LegacyUser

tenchi-fan wrote: »

it costs about €40 to go to the gp.

As I mentioned, I already have unpaid bills with the doctor.

alias06 wrote: »

Tell social welfare you were depressed and you should be able to back claim for the payments you missed.

I'm sure they've never heard that one before... I doubt they would allow me back payment on the back of that...

alias06 wrote: »

Think about attending some support groups such as Aware because they are free and might give you some focus and direction.

I live in a rural area, so it's not really an option right now.

anucksunamun wrote: »

I think perhaps to get this in focus you should try see this from other peoples point of view, particularly your parents?

Any attempt I made to explain how I'm feeling has been met with ridicule. I'm not on speaking terms with them, nor have a been for a long time.

alias06

Unregd wrote: »

As I mentioned, I already have unpaid bills with the doctor.

I'm sure he would still see you. You could at least try to explain your situation to him.

Unregd wrote: »

I'm sure they've never heard that one before... I doubt they would allow me back payment on the back of that...

Yes they have heard this before and they do pay back payment on the back of that.

Look you have to make an effort to break out of the rut. At the moment your just rejecting every solution. Sort things out with the doc and the dole and things will get easier after that.

Stu77

Are your parents burying their head in the sand. Why can't you speak to them about your issues? The main thing here is to get some money together ASAP. Borrow the few quid from your parents and go and see a different doctor and explain your situation in full. He may write you a letter enabling you to apply for Disability Benefit or he will at least write a letter that you can bring to the social welfare office to explain why you haven't been claiming your payment.

Social welfare may not backdate your money but your still entitled to claim unemployment assistance from right now. Use some of the money to join a gym. This is very important. It will give you something to focus on while boosting your energy and helping to alleviate the apathy your feeling.

You need to make an effort to change your current situation and you are still very young and can make massive changes to your life if you can start taking some steps (re : above) and pushing on from there otherwise you will continue to drift into a life of helplesness and hopelessness. Don't let that happen to yourself.

tenchi-fan

Unregd wrote: »

As I mentioned, I already have unpaid bills with the doctor.

I'm sure they've never heard that one before... I doubt they would allow me back payment on the back of that...

I live in a rural area, so it's not really an option right now.

Any attempt I made to explain how I'm feeling has been met with ridicule.

Hi Op. How did you get on today?

Those are all brilliant excuses and it looks like you've predicted the most catastrophic outcomes and decided not to bother. However it will take effort to get out of your rut. Parents can be inconsiderate so don't expect them to understand, but don't get annoyed about it either! It's not your fault if they don't recognise you're not feeling happy.

I know living and home can be a pain but living away from home isn't a walk in the park. Your housemates can be irritating, bills can get on top of you, and you might get disillusioned if your new life feels the same as your old one.. if you're in a bad frame of mind you will be unhappy no matter where you are.

Self help reading may help even if it only makes you feel a little better. You could also look up "depression" and "personality disorders" on wikipedia to see if any of it actually applies to you - know your enemy! Then google "depressive mindset" and "self help" for ways on getting yourself out of that rut.

Snowie

Unregd wrote: »

I'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible, as I could go on for pages literally...

I think I've been suffering from depression for the best part of a year now, after it had gone away for a year of so. I haven't always been depressed or anything, but I haven't been swinging off lamp-posts when going down the street either. I have my good days and my bad days. I've been having a lot more bad than good lately. It's not always really feeling of depression lately as such, although it can be at times. I just seem to lack the willpower or energy to do anything.

I have weight problems going back a good few years and a combination of that and just general depression eventually led to me losing my job a couple of years ago. I am in my mid-20's and have been back living in the family home for the last year. I returned to college in 2008, but I gave up on it in the middle of the year.

I returned to the college before the exams, just to try just with the intention of seeking the help of a councillor. While I found help there and was encouraged to do my exams, eventually I gave up on it again. I saw the college GP and while she made a quick diagnosis of depression, I never returned for a follow-up.

It's now got to the stage where I am living in in my parents house and stopped collecting unemployment a couple of months back, after missing a payment day due to being ill.

I can't explain why, but I just never went back to the DSW to sort things out. Now I'm in a situation where they'll want to know how the hell I've been supporting myself... Basically I'm just living here and not really going anywhere, as I don't have any money anyway.

I don't feel I can go to my GP as I had a couple of visits a few years ago and forgot to pay the bill at the time and don't feel I can return.

I dunno, I feel like I've backed myself into a corner...

Ok so
lots of people have and suffer from similier problems, over the years and its always fixable no matter what the situation is, so all hope is not lost, what I will say is you need to got to your docter straight away.

Get her to rite youa cert to say that yes you did come to her with your problems and she did diagnose depression, from there follow it up with a cert and recomondations for councilors, then with all that make some photo copys and bring them to the unemployment office, and see if under the grounds of illness can you get back on to your job seekers allowence under the under standing of problems with your health if you are ocmpletly honest with them they will help there not evil ogers who'le eat your head of, I know it's hard to get the motivation to get thse things done but it should help..

Your next port of call is getting, your coucilor to refer you to a councilor, and followed bye a recomondation, and go see the person. From previous experenc eits very daunting the first time you go you talk a lot about why your there explain to them.

ona personalol note i had similier problems in the past. and always found it very hard to follow up on things, But its really worth taking the small steps. once you get that far things get easyer there are meythods used for such problem's....

Look mate for what its worth taking the bull bye the horns does seem daunting but i can personally garintee you ayear later your life will have changed for the better...

Hope this helps

anucksunamun

Any attempt I made to explain how I'm feeling has been met with ridicule. I'm not on speaking terms with them, nor have a been for a long time.[/QUOTE]

What I actually said was for you to try and see things from their view, not the other way round, perhaps the reason they are not open to listening is because it seems to them you are not doing anything to change your situation, or perhaps because you are unwilling to try anything anyone recommends, you automatically see how it could go wrong, or perhaps its as simple as this.. they are sick of having a fully grown daughter living off them, using everything they pay for, eating their food without any thanks, or enough respect for them to attempt to keep a civil relationship up??

Surely if you were to attempt to discuss moving on, trying to change you life with your parents one of them would be open to helping you?.. do you have no siblings/cousins/any family member/friend who you can ask to bring you to another doctor, in another town if necessary?

As Techni-fan stated 'Those are all brilliant excuses and it looks like you've predicted the most catastrophic outcomes and decided not to bother'

OP can you actually see this behavior or do you feel persecuted by us?

As to claiming your social welfare back you would have to get certs from your doctor and claim it back that way, I asked about it and was told jobseekers benefit is only paid to those who were able and fit to work at that time. (that was in my local office, it may be different in different parts of the country)

Have you applied for a medical card yet?
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/health/entitlement-to-health-services/medical_card
thats the link to all the information, including where you can download it, and where to send it to.


You are also entitled to rent allowance, and help making up a deposit on a new place, it is by no means an easy process and they will ask for lots of paperwork from you, you would also probably have to flat share somewhere to be able to afford the rent... but surely to be independent from your parents it would be worth it.
http://www.welfare.ie/EN/Publications/SW58/Pages/10WherecanIgetmoreinformation.aspx

Even if you only download the forms and fill them out today, its something, your moving forward.. Dont make excuses as to why you cant or wont even try... just do it..

Even if you only send them off or bring them in(depending on where you live) tomorrow, your claiming back YOUR life.. after all the only person this drifting along half life truly effects is you op.. do you want to change it?

anucksunamun

Hey OP, just wondering if perhaps you might have done some of the recommended above, and how your doing now?