No Intimacy ever

LegacyUser

I am 27 years old and still a virgin. Not only a virgin. But I have never even kissed a girl.

To say that this gets me down is an understatement! I used to be really shy but have come out of myself a lot in the last couple of years. But I am so afraid to kiss a girl. I just worry about what her reaction would be and I know I would be crap at it as it would be my first time.

Its a vicous circle really, Until I get the courage to just do it, I will always be thinking that I wont be able to do it. I have even considered hiring escorts just to teach me how to kiss. Not sure that would be a good idea though...

I just have a fear that I might get lucky in a club, make a mess of kissing the girl and the whole club seeing it. Ridiculous really but I just cant get images like this out of my head

TangyZizzle

The only solution to this is to go for it, go out with the lads to a bar/club whichever will give you a higher chance of scoring, find a pretty young thing and go for the kill.

You fukin up the kiss should be the last thing on your mind, all you have to do is mimic her actions, its really that easy.

And hey, if you play your cards right you could lose your friginity AND virginity in one night.

Did I just show my age by using the word friginity? lol

krudler

I just have a fear that I might get lucky in a club, make a mess of kissing the girl and the whole club seeing it. Ridiculous really but I just cant get images like this out of my head

do you really think all guys who pull in night clubs are good kissers? I have enough female friends to know that simply isnt true, most of them are pissed and just slobber all over a girl, do you have any close female friends? maybe one of them might be able to help you out if you explain your problem to them? they might let you practise on them for want of a better term, once you realise that kissing isnt that hard (and how fun it is ) you should be a lot more comfortable

Bonito

DepressedDude wrote: »

I am 27 years old and still a virgin. Not only a virgin. But I have never even kissed a girl.

Relax. A lot of people come in to their own at different ages. Besides you'd be surprised to find how many women find this cute and for some women cute = attractive.

To say that this gets me down is an understatement! I used to be really shy but have come out of myself a lot in the last couple of years. But I am so afraid to kiss a girl. I just worry about what her reaction would be and I know I would be crap at it as it would be my first time.

When you meet the girl you don't have to just jump straight in. Be honest. Let her know it's your 1st kiss and you're a bit nervous. If she laughs in your face then walk away because she obviously wasn't the type of girl you'd want to share your 1st kiss with.

Its a vicous circle really, Until I get the courage to just do it, I will always be thinking that I wont be able to do it. I have even considered hiring escorts just to teach me how to kiss. Not sure that would be a good idea though...

You don't need courage really. If you know when a girl is giving you the "come on give me a kiss" it doesn't mean all systems go and full throttle it. Be relaxed about it and watch eye-contact, smiling, lip biting etc. If she's fiddling with her clothes or hair it most likely means she's nervous too and is waiting for you to kiss her. I think it's a sort of reassurance to a girl that you're in to her.

I just have a fear that I might get lucky in a club, make a mess of kissing the girl and the whole club seeing it. Ridiculous really but I just cant get images like this out of my head

Trust me everyone in the club is either concentrating on their dancing, drinking or pulling themselves. They're not all going to be concentrating on whether you cock up or not. Images in your head mean you're having too much time to think about this. Get busy with something to distract yourself from over-analyzing the situation.

Tips: Relax. Eye-contact. Hand on girls hip/waist/arm. Move slowly, like I said it's not a race. Your lips are a very sensuous part of your body so concentrate there. Kiss softly don't dive straight in with your tongue. If she's interested she'll kiss back and you can just follow her lead. She's hardly going to stand there with her mouth open and just gawking at you.

Best of luck Op. Just chill out. You'll find her. No need for that escort or lessons messing because the girl you're going to be kissing will have her own style!:cool:

Monkey61

Bonito wrote: »

Be honest. Let her know it's your 1st kiss and you're a bit nervous. If she laughs in your face then walk away because she obviously wasn't the type of girl you'd want to share your 1st kiss with.

I think this might be one of those situations where honesty isn't the best policy. I would find it seriously weird if someone told me before we kissed that this was their first kiss. It would probably ruin the mood completely as I would be quite busy wondering why they had never kissed someone etc.

The main thing OP is that there is nothing to worry about with the physical act itself. All you have to do is relax and follow what the other person is doing. Or...find someone to teach you. A good friend would probably help you out...

Pricey

Hey man,

I've heard these symptoms too many times. sometimes it seems like there is no solution, but, there is :-)

So you are a virgin, and you have never been kissed.
both occasions, when they finally do happen, are disasters, if any guy tells you any different, they are lying.

You need help, and you have to learn from someone, Guys in your situation all share similar characteristics, they all have similar lifestyles, and for your lifestyle to change you have to change your lifestyle.

When someone says, "hey man, just be yourself and everything will happen for you" well I dont agree, you are in this situation because you have been yourself all this time. You seem like a really nice guy, and when you enter a nightclub you have to leave your nice guy image in the cloakroom.
(Because women are not attracted to nice guys, its true;-) )

I would be happy to help you through this man, mentor you etc.

I was like you, long dry spells before it eventually happened, I thought it would never happen. But I changed, thus, everything changed.


forget all this honesty nonsense , that just ties your head up in knots.
If you need help, send me a private message. and I will be happy to help you with the first step. Its not as easy as one 1 2 3, but once you learn 3 any woman will be yours.

Take care

Pricey ;-)

Kipperhell

OP

Do you have any friends you can talk to about this or know the situation? People here can only guess what your behaviour and appearance are like. Essentially these are the things that are the cause one way or the other. I can only imagine that your self image and confidence are quite different to the norm.
What are your conversations about with friends? The only guy I knew close to how you describe your progress was a bit stilted in his interests. A general movement out of your comfort zone is probably what you need to do. Have you any female friends? Introductions via friends is probably where you need to go rather than try the competitive meat market vibe of a night club. There are plenty of people similar to yourself of both sexes so probably best to approach such people in a more neutral place. Friends are really probably the only way you could meet similar people as mostly only friends will know such personal details.

Good luck and don't make it more than it is.

Wibbs

Pricey wrote: »

If you need help, send me a private message. and I will be happy to help you with the first step. Its not as easy as one 1 2 3, but once you learn 3 any woman will be yours.

Take care

Pricey ;-)

Fine sentiment and fair enough, but from some of your other posts it seems you are a follower of the Pickup artist movement. Again fine whatever floats your boat. But if you're attempting to pimp any service you may be offering as a "mentor", you will be banned from this forum. OP if there's any attempt to seek money changing hands, please PM one of the mods and let us know. As I say if its altruistic then fine. Thanks.

magneticimpulse

OP, people themselves dont know if they are good kissers or good in bed. I get a few comments from guys saying im a really good kisser...but then i start thinking, can you actually be bad at it? For me, its all about showing someone you like them. And if this is the case, its usually going to turn out fine. The key thing is to be gentle and soft, and just give a few little soft pecks and ease yourself in. No need to lunge your tougue inside. Its all about going with the flow and just copying whatever the other person is doing. Its like having a conversation without any words...your communicating in another way. But too be honest, it all happens so fast, you dont really think about it. The less thinking the better.

Its nervous kissing any new person for the 1st time or sleeping with people for the 1st time. Everytime I kiss a new person, its like my 1st kiss when i was 17 all over again. You dont know what to expect. I myself never got over that shyness and i tend to rely on the guy to make the moves.

Have you tried internet dating? I know it might sound clinche or whatever, but it does away with having to build up the courage to talk to random people in night club. At least internet dating, you can practise...i still do! Its true just be yourself, but dont be "too honest", always nice to keep some information back. I still am nervous to kiss on these 1st internet dates....i think it happens about 1 out of every 5 1st dates. So dont be disappointed if it doesnt happen on the 1st date, keep going.

LegacyUser

i was in exactly the same place when i was 26 a friend of mine set me up with a friend of hers and made a complete fool out of me not only did it make me feel like crap they made a fool out of me publicaly all my friends co workers knew i hadnt had sex not only this she scored with one of my friends making matters worse then she dated another one of my friends basicaly anyone would do but me not that i gave a crap at that stage as it was too late the damage was done i tried hynoterapy i just wish i had tried it years earlyer as i believe it would have helped before my confedence was put in the rubbish bin i became very depressed i swore i would go to an escort if things hadnt changed by my 27 birthday

and in the end i did it helped a lot again i wish i had done it before this supposed friend made a fool out of me 4 years on and im still suffering because of something my friends done to me i gave out to some of them but they dont see anything wrong with what they done they just deny i was made a fool of even do i had to listen to crap at work over this

needless to say i dont cosider them friends any more if i was back in your place i would try hypno and go to escort and dont tell anyone just let on you had a one night stand and forget about it if you get a friendly escort they will help your confedence in this matter

i know there will be lots of people disagree with this but if they had been put in my place they might not be so moral its very easy for people to talk but you need to build up confedence with women without the fear of being made a fool of and unfortunatly no doctor or physcoligist can help with this it would take them years i genuinly hope you get over your problem