Holding hands

Ms. Captain M

My friend recently went out with a lad she met once before, they went to the cinema and for pizza in some shopping centre. She told me they were walking around holding hands. I was like "WHAT!!" Ye were holding hands!??. She couldn't understand my reaction, started calling me Samantha from Sex and the City. I feel holding hands is something to do if your in love, not with someone you barely know. But yet i'd sleep with someone on a first date if it felt right, and have had my share of one night stands. I do realise how ridiculous and contradictory this sounds. But no hand holding til i'm in love! Anyone agree with me...please..?

Malari

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

My friend recently went out with a lad she met once before, they went to the cinema and for pizza in some shopping centre. She told me they were walking around holding hands. I was like "WHAT!!" Ye were holding hands!??. She couldn't understand my reaction, started calling me Samantha from Sex and the City. I feel holding hands is something to do if your in love, not with someone you barely know. But yet i'd sleep with someone on a first date if it felt right, and have had my share of one night stands. I do realise how ridiculous and contradictory this sounds. But no hand holding til i'm in love! Anyone agree with me...please..?

Wow, those are odd rules you have!

Have held hands with loved and unloved boyfriends and vice-versa. How do you feel about linking arms. Walking with arms around each other? :rolleyes:

NothingMan

Nope you're crazy . I love holding hands and if I liked a girl i'd take her hand as soon as it felt right. ie. after a little kiss.

jellie

hmmm no i think youre crazy. if im comfortable with someone and like them then I might just go MAD and hold their hand dont think its a big deal

smileysurfer

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

My friend recently went out with a lad she met once before, they went to the cinema and for pizza in some shopping centre. She told me they were walking around holding hands. I was like "WHAT!!" Ye were holding hands!??. She couldn't understand my reaction, started calling me Samantha from Sex and the City. I feel holding hands is something to do if your in love, not with someone you barely know. But yet i'd sleep with someone on a first date if it felt right, and have had my share of one night stands. I do realise how ridiculous and contradictory this sounds. But no hand holding til i'm in love! Anyone agree with me...please..?

Bit of a strange logic there OP.
You'd sleep with someone on a first date but wouldnt hold their hand? strange!
Id much prefer to hold hands with someone I dont know than to have a one night stand with them, much safer and not as slutty :rolleyes:

Ickle Magoo

Perhaps you just have an issue with public displays of affection? Otherwise it's quite odd to be happy to bump ugglies on a first date but no holding hands until love is declared!

Ms. Captain M

Malari wrote: »

Wow, those are odd rules you have!

Have held hands with loved and unloved boyfriends and vice-versa. How do you feel about linking arms. Walking with arms around each other? :rolleyes:

Neither of the above i'm afraid. Just doesn't feel right to me if I barely know the person. I've only had a couple of serious boyfriends (not counting school days stuff) so haven't held a lot of hands! Maybe i'm missing out...probably am actually. I have issues I know

Ms. Captain M

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Perhaps you just have an issue with public displays of affection? Otherwise it's quite odd to be happy to bump ugglies on a first date but no holding hands until love is declared!

Yes that's it! Public displays of affection.

Ickle Magoo

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

Yes that's it! Public displays of affection.

Lot's of people aren't really into public displays of affection in general, I don't think you are alone there.

Rayne

PDA is different in my opinion. Holding hands is sweet, normal, fine!
PDA is sucking the face off each other, touching each other inappropriately in front of others etc.

Holding hands, with someone new or old is sweet. I don't think you have to be in love.

Ickle Magoo

Well, I tend not to hold hands with people I feel no affection for so I'd class it as a public display of affection.

I know loads of couples who don't hold hands in public whether they've been going out 10days or 10yrs, that's not as odd as the first post sounded, was my point.

Malari

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

Yes that's it! Public displays of affection.

Well it's not just that is it? As you've said that it is acceptable to hold hands when you're in love. Which is no less of a PDA than someone holding hands on a casual date.

DancingDaisy

I think I often use holding hands, and giving my o/h's hand a squeeze, when in public as a way to avoid kissing and such. If I feel like kissing him I squeeze his hand instead, and vice versa.

However, I have also often held hands with female friends when out and about. I don't see as something that happens just in a loving relationship, but I can understand the sentiment

xoxyx

I ALWAYS hold hand with my OH when we're out.

He might escape otherwise.

I feel perfectly fine holding hands with someone. Including my girlfriends. I don't really do anything 'intimate' in public so that's about as close as I'm willing to get

I hate it when people put their arm around you, though. It feels so restrictive D;

The Nice Jumper

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

My friend recently went out with a lad she met once before, they went to the cinema and for pizza in some shopping centre. She told me they were walking around holding hands. I was like "WHAT!!" Ye were holding hands!??. She couldn't understand my reaction, started calling me Samantha from Sex and the City. I feel holding hands is something to do if your in love, not with someone you barely know. But yet i'd sleep with someone on a first date if it felt right, and have had my share of one night stands. I do realise how ridiculous and contradictory this sounds. But no hand holding til i'm in love! Anyone agree with me...please..?

I hear ya! I've had sex with girls that I in no way like, but if one of them was to try holding my hand I would probably recoil in absolute revulsion. Holding hands is for love. Same as OP, I can see why people might think this is ridiculous, and they're probably right! :rolleyes:

Sid_Justice

Holding hands is about as far as I go when it comes to PDA with a girlfriend. In fact, I couldn't walk down the street with a girlfriend without doing it, my hand would feel empty. However, having just met someone? Or even after just having sex? Unless I was in total thunderbolt infatuation it takes me quite a while to get to the hand holding stage.

so if your mate is holding hands with a fella on the first date, they're either, hit it big very quickly, or, they're hand sluts.

The Nice Jumper

z_topaz wrote: »

I ALWAYS hold hand with my OH when we're out.

He might escape otherwise.

That's perfectly normal, but what would NOT be normal is calling someone your OTHER HALF and walking around a shopping centre holding hands if you've only met them once before.

Dublin_Gunner

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

My friend recently went out with a lad she met once before, they went to the cinema and for pizza in some shopping centre. She told me they were walking around holding hands. I was like "WHAT!!" Ye were holding hands!??. She couldn't understand my reaction, started calling me Samantha from Sex and the City. I feel holding hands is something to do if your in love, not with someone you barely know. But yet i'd sleep with someone on a first date if it felt right, and have had my share of one night stands. I do realise how ridiculous and contradictory this sounds. But no hand holding til i'm in love! Anyone agree with me...please..?

Well, at least you're not holding hands in bed or bumping uglies in the shopping centre OP....

Holdings hands is a nice easy, non-invasive way of showing a little affection. I see nothing wrong with it if you're together 5 years and madly in love or 2 weeks and all giddy / loved up.

partyguinness

What's the big deal?

I am sure your friend has a similar reaction to your one night stands...;)

Your friend is obviously more comfortable and in tune with her affections than you are.

krudler

I've held hands with girls I've just met on nights out walking home or whatever, nothing wrong with it at all its a little display of affection , nothing wrong with not wanting to do it either though, I dont like walking with my arm around my gf as i find it awkward, not the pda side of it, just the walking, I get a bit uncoordinated

barleybooley

Deleted User wrote: »

I feel perfectly fine holding hands with someone. Including my girlfriends

You DOG you! :P

I don't see any problem with it, I think it's cute, having that said one of my friends was saying how she thinks it's a much bigger deal to kiss someone than sleep with them so I can see where you're coming from OP. Personally, I have no problem with it, I've always done that with my boyfriend.

Malari

The Nice Jumper wrote: »

I hear ya! I've had sex with girls that I in no way like, but if one of them was to try holding my hand I would probably recoil in absolute revulsion. Holding hands is for love. Same as OP, I can see why people might think this is ridiculous, and they're probably right! :rolleyes:

Right, but the friend was on a date - pizza, cinema. More than just a shag or casual encounter I think. I know what you mean. Sometimes it's just sex.

Anna Molly

It bugs me but that's just cause all that relationship jazz annoys me nowadays!

Whatever floats you boat, I guess. I think I'm just bitter:rolleyes:
I do think it's cute though. You know, young love and all that.

yourdeadwright

call me odd but i have two different ways of holding hands,
The first is for a girl you just met walking home or on a first date,were its your average holding of hands,palm to palm
The second is for my girlfriend or if i have a love of my life, and that holding hands but linking of fingers if you get me, you know like were you link the finger's together while holdig hands,

Fink Goddie

yourdeadwright wrote: »

call me odd but i have two different ways of holding hands,
The first is for a girl you just met walking home or on a first date,were its your average holding of hands,palm to palm
The second is for my girlfriend or if i have a love of my life, and that holding hands but linking of fingers if you get me, you know like were you link the finger's together while holdig hands,

How can you hold hands without linking your fingers??

Malari

Fink Goddie wrote: »

How can you hold hands without linking your fingers??

As if you were shaking hands!? Easy.

Fink Goddie

Malari wrote: »

As if you were shaking hands!? Easy.

Thats just weird! :pac:

Malari

Fink Goddie wrote: »

Thats just weird! :pac:

No it isn't Linking fingers hurts if you are wearing big chunky rings.

This is how we do it, which probably is a bit weird:

Fink Goddie

Malari wrote: »

No it isn't Linking fingers hurts if you are wearing big chunky rings.

This is how we do it, which probably is a bit weird:

:pac:

NothingMan

yourdeadwright wrote: »

call me odd but i have two different ways of holding hands,
The first is for a girl you just met walking home or on a first date,were its your average holding of hands,palm to palm
The second is for my girlfriend or if i have a love of my life, and that holding hands but linking of fingers if you get me, you know like were you link the finger's together while holdig hands,

This non link way of holding hands is only for when you're holding a kids hand crossing the road. Linked fingers is the only way for an adult to hold another adults hand.

LittleBook

Malari wrote: »

No it isn't Linking fingers hurts if you are wearing big chunky rings

Or if your man has big hands

This is how WE do it, never thought it was odd 'til I read this thread ...



I read somewhere that there's a whole body language thing around holding hands and you can read things about a couple by the way they hold hands

Malari

LittleBook wrote: »

Or if your man has big hands

This is how WE do it, never thought it was odd 'til I read this thread ...

Indeed!

I don't think it's odd, but I do think this thread has unearthed some pretty odd hand-holding regulations!

Jaden

The only holding hands method that counts is when it's done with smaill fingers interlocked. If you do it, you know what I mean.

g'em

I love holding hands, especially when the other person strokes your hand with their thumb or gives it a gentle squeeze every so often. Yummy I'm highly likely to just drag them behind the neareset bush and ravish them when they do that.

Fink Goddie

g'em wrote: »

I love holding hands, especially when the other person strokes your hand with their thumb or gives it a gentle squeeze every so often. Yummy I'm highly likely to just drag them behind the neareset bush and ravish them when they do that.

So if they did it in the house, would you drag them outside to the bush in your garden??
Bush lovin!!!

yourdeadwright

who knew holding hands was so complicated ha ha

Faith

I love holding hands. Sometimes my OH and I will just be walking down the street holding hands, but if you look closely, we're actually engaged in a thumb war .

SarahSassy

Thats one of the things I adore about my OH, he takes my hand any time we walk anywhere (and we are no spring chickens)... I think its so cute.

SarahSassy

NothingMan wrote: »

This non link way of holding hands is only for when you're holding a kids hand crossing the road. Linked fingers is the only way for an adult to hold another adults hand.

Not if he has big fingers - its squashes my likkkle ones..

Thought Bubble

Don't know if 'controversial' is the right word, but there is certainly more food for thought than I imagined in this thread

OP, I kind've get where your coming from, in that I would find it slightly too intimate to be hand holding with someone I don't really know. But at the same time, it's such an easy way to show affection for someone if your not bumping uglies yet, or not into big public smooching sessions.

Even when it's a boyfriend, I wouldn't be big into PDA's, but I do love hand holding. I kind've like the 'this is my woman' element to it. And I don't know why, but rubbing a guys hand gently between thumb and fore finger just really seems to erm 'work' (for me anyways!) Maybe coz' it's a small, private sign of things to come later???

SeekUp

LittleBook wrote: »

I read somewhere that there's a whole body language thing around holding hands and you can read things about a couple by the way they hold hands

Ooooh, where is that? I want to read and see if it's right!

RightlyRandom

Thought Bubble wrote: »

Don't know if 'controversial' is the right word, but there is certainly more food for thought than I imagined in this thread

OP, I kind've get where your coming from, in that I would find it slightly too intimate to be hand holding with someone I don't really know. But at the same time, it's such an easy way to show affection for someone if your not bumping uglies yet, or not into big public smooching sessions.

Even when it's a boyfriend, I wouldn't be big into PDA's, but I do love hand holding. I kind've like the 'this is my woman' element to it. And I don't know why, but rubbing a guys hand gently between thumb and fore finger just really seems to erm 'work' (for me anyways!) Maybe coz' it's a small, private sign of things to come later???

may be a stupid question to ask.. but what does this mean? never have i ever heard it being used before? ha

Little Acorn

RightlyRandom wrote: »

may be a stupid question to ask.. but what does this mean? never have i ever heard it being used before? ha

It means having sex.-Think it might have started in America,but used here a good bit now.

dearg lady

OP, I'm with you on this one, though I have held hands with peeps after a few dates but only cos I'm ridiculously loved up at that point. I consider hand holding to be quite intimate and reserved for an OH, or a possibility that I'm head over heels about. It does seem a backwards to think sex is OK before hand holding, but hand holding just seems to scream relationship!

Ms. Captain M

So i'm not alone but definitely in the minority, I knew that anyway. Too intimate is a good way to describe it, I know how that sounds. As a previous poster said, sex is sometimes just sex. A means to an end kinda thing! And coz i'm not in a relationship that's what it basically is for me. If anyone's interested, my friend went on a couple more dates with yer man, slept with him and the next day he text her with the "it's not you it's me" spiel. Harsh. So hand holding too early, no good can come of it

LimeFruitGum

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

If anyone's interested, my friend went on a couple more dates with yer man, slept with him and the next day he text her with the "it's not you it's me" spiel. Harsh. So hand holding too early, no good can come of it

Ah no way, that's a pity things didn't work out.

Carter96

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

My friend recently went out with a lad she met once before, they went to the cinema and for pizza in some shopping centre. She told me they were walking around holding hands. I was like "WHAT!!" Ye were holding hands!??. She couldn't understand my reaction, started calling me Samantha from Sex and the City. I feel holding hands is something to do if your in love, not with someone you barely know. But yet i'd sleep with someone on a first date if it felt right, and have had my share of one night stands. I do realise how ridiculous and contradictory this sounds. But no hand holding til i'm in love! Anyone agree with me...please..?

You're insane.

Seriously, I'd hate to live my life with such silly rules. Who cares? If it feels good, do it. It's HOLDING HANDS not putting an ring on anyone's finger on the second date or whatever.

Carter96

Ms. Captain M wrote: »

So i'm not alone but definitely in the minority, I knew that anyway. Too intimate is a good way to describe it, I know how that sounds. As a previous poster said, sex is sometimes just sex. A means to an end kinda thing! And coz i'm not in a relationship that's what it basically is for me. If anyone's interested, my friend went on a couple more dates with yer man, slept with him and the next day he text her with the "it's not you it's me" spiel. Harsh. So hand holding too early, no good can come of it

Ah he got what he wanted and there she goes. That's too bad.

Maybe they weren't holding hands enough!

Luno

Don't find this odd at all! Seems like they both want a relationship and its showing affection towards each other, I personally love holding hands makes you feel protected in a strange way. I've had many awkward situations with tall people whos arms don't seem to be long enough to reach mine ?:mad:

Vinta81

lol