Parents of teens.

Deliverance

Whilst travelling to pick up my little one today, I as a single man experienced the usual teen angst attacks of name calling and general baiting towards myself: name calling and baiting for a reaction etc. Of course I ignored them, I walked on despite feeling humiliation at such an attempt as an immature way of intimidation.

I chose a path at this time that was the burns steps in cobh, at a particular point they tend to gather i.e. outside the public eye in groups. The group in question decided to let a young female provide entertainment by her ridiculous attempts at baiting any adult available i.e. me at this particular time.

This has happened to me many times as I don't drive and I walk a lot. It makes me angry at the moment to think that I cannot go out my door without expecting abuse from off school teens (it is happening a lot more since the schools are off).

I am starting to hate them and feel that this is wrong. At the same time I refuse to see them as a blocker to my walks and will continue to walk wherever I goddamed feel like. in fact I will make it a point to walk past the same areas that these abusive teens occupie in an act of defiance.

They do not own the streets, they need to learn a few lessons i.e. I caught a chap on his own one night without his shills and he crapped himself due to previous encounters (my presence was enough). He never said a word again.

Anyway before this becomes a rant... I wonder about the parents of these little idiots? Are they aware of how stupid and aggressive and disrespectful that their kids are and can be?

The girls seem to be the worst they seem to be trying to impress the boys. I have a daughter and if she behaved like they do then I would be ashamed.

If I am pushed much further then I will turn on them, confront them and deliver a swift punch which I'm sure I will regret. That is just the way I feel.

As a parent I find it mind boggling that some kids are so stupid and disrespectful in the extreme. Is it because the parents are bad parents or is it because the kids are just plain stupid?

smelltheglove

Deliverance before I say anymore the most important thing I have to say is step backif you feel provoked! Do NOT give them what they want. There us utter scum walking the streets now! A good family friend was a widely reported victim of gun crime whilst trying to stand up for a friend and now there are 2 beautiful kids without their daddy and a beautiful girl my own age mourning her husband. As much as it angers you try to be the bigger person!

Nextly, I have young kids but I did play a part in my brothers upbringing due to parents seperation and if I heard of him behaving in this manner I would have slapped him silly! I don't understand it,we were raised with respect and even as a child I would have walked away from friends behaving like that.

For your own sake don't go out of your way to be defiant, look after yourself and stay safe, things are so different now to when I was young and I'm not even 30. I have never encountered an abusive gang. If I find myself in a situation wher I have to walk past a group I actually would acknowledge with a 'hey' or 'alright' or whatever rather than look afraid or annoyed. They will feed on what they see so if they see a man frowning on them they will be abusive but less likely to the 'sound lad' who just walked by and said alright. Also If they aren't learning manners at home they may as well learn from passers bywho greet with respect rather than contempt!

Chet T16

smelltheglove wrote: »

If I find myself in a situation wher I have to walk past a group I actually would acknowledge with a 'hey' or 'alright' or whatever rather than look afraid or annoyed.

Thats what i do. My thinking would be it takes the victimless crime on a stranger element away. Its not like its a personal attack on you so let them shout at the grumpy bloke coming along next

Deliverance

Thanks for the feedback. I think what has been said makes sense. in a catch 22 sort of way I paint most groups of teens in the same way due to experiences with some scummy behaviour by some.

Once whilst driving and stuck in a traffic jam in st Lukes I witnessed a young chap being attacked and intimidated by a couple of 'scumbags' of a similar age in tracksuits. The chap was being attacked verbally and with physical threatening behaviour because he was dressed in a blazer type school uniform, he looked terrified. I pulled over my car and hopped out in a temper and stood between him and them and asked him if everything was ok. I didn't acknowledge the scumbags at all. If they wanted to make something of it then they would have to make the first move, this is something that they do not do because basically they are cowards.

The little dirtbags backed off. The young chap made his escape due to this distraction. I detest this type of behaviour to the extreme it really, really makes me uncontrollably angry at times and I have to act.

Saying that from the advice given above I think I need to curb my temper a bit and realise that not all teens gathered in groups are bad. A look of contempt and anger I guess does understandably provoke a response. In future I'll not paint them all with the same brush and try a smile a nod and a 'How ya' type approach. thanks for advice.

smelltheglove

Good to hear deliverance. Along with the story above members of my family have suffered from scum, and believe me they wouldn't be too easy a target. Most recently my brother almost had his lip bit off, what sort of scum would do that? His friend was recently murdered on fairview also. You have to protect yourself as much as possible and if it cam be done by a simple hello then do it.

You can still cal the Garda ig you think anything dodgy is going on, they won't know it was you!

Deliverance

I'll still stand up to the real scumbags though. If everyone had the attitude of just letting it go then the problem gets worse because they know that folks hide behind closed doors and will do nothing out of fear. This gives them the rule of order. I for one will and cannot do that.

If everyone stood up and had the same attitude, then scumbags would not have so much power via intimidation. That is my view and I stick by it. If I see a chap in trouble I for one will step up and do something about it.

Otherwise the scum will feel like that they can act this way without reprisal i.e. I really feel that they will get their own way because of inaction. Point in fact is if I had not stepped out of my car and protected the lad mentioned above then he could have returned home with a bloodied nose or a black eye.

I stepped up and backed him when others didn't, I feel that lad went home with the knowledge that if trouble occurs then the public will come to his aid. Rather than going home with the fear that every day he walks out he could be a victim of an attack where everyone stood by and did nothing.

Back to the parenting point, what kind of parents allow their kids to go out and attack as such. It is mind boggling to me. The parents must be absolute scum as well surely?

Dfens

You could always put in a compliant to the Gardai that they are acting in a threatening and anti-social manner, identifying the spot where they usually gather.

Chet T16

Deliverance wrote: »

Otherwise the scum will feel like that they can act this way without reprisal i.e. I really feel that they will get their own way because of inaction. Point in fact is if I had not stepped out of my car and protected the lad mentioned above then he could have returned home with a bloodied nose or a black eye.

Or just as easily both of you could have ended up with a knife in your ribs for what could have been interpreted as confrontational, even though you didn't acknowledge them you had "hopped out in a temper" I read something last night that said how young people in prison (compared to those not in, i.e. not scumbags) were unable to determine the correct emotion from peoples faces. In particular when shown a face of a person showing disgust it was interpreted as anger.

smelltheglove

Deliverance wrote: »

I'll still stand up to the real scumbags though. If everyone had the attitude of just letting it go then the problem gets worse because they know that folks hide behind closed doors and will do nothing out of fear. This gives them the rule of order. I for one will and cannot do that.

If everyone stood up and had the same attitude, then scumbags would not have so much power via intimidation. That is my view and I stick by it. If I see a chap in trouble I for one will step up and do something about it.?

unfortunately you sound like someone I used to know.

Deliverance some parents are like that themselves, some are unable to control but I would say the majority are unaware.

I agree with where you are coming from but through experiences would not recommend it, you should never confront a gang alone, get help first. Gone are the days when teenagers would run from adults it's just not like that anymore. Be safe!

taram

I know the exact point you mention in your OP, I go up there reguarly too as my bf is from Cobh. He went to school with some of them, and their older brothers, and recently they found out I was his gf and I've been threatened a lot because he's a really sweet quiet guy who took their abuse for years and I won't take it and they hate that. It's a no-go place at night becuase of them! I've seen them terrorising tourists too (set one guy with long hair on fire with a lighter at about 2pm on a sunday when a ship was in- I kid you not), gives the place an awful vibe when they're around.

I put in a complaint the first time they started on me (surrounded me, saying I was gonna get a beating, I ignored their comments previously) with the gardai, but they just said they were known to them and they never contacted me again. Thankfully I didn't get the beating because I legged it, but if it happened to my bf or his little sisters, I'd go mad. And ofc I'd end up in jail, not them :P