he keeps calling

LegacyUser

hi

this has been going on for, believe it or not, two years. I was friends with this guy and i broke up with my fella at the time and we started palling around but i wasnt interested and he had a girlfriend and it was just a bit of compnay for me, so anyway, got back with my fella (still with him) and this guy keeps calling me saying he wants to meet up on our own, now i havent seen this guy in over tow years and he keeps calling me but i ignore his calls coz i know he wants to meet up and im not interested coz he has a lovely girlfriend who im sure doesnt know hes pursuing me and a new baby, out of respect for each of our partners i dont answer the calls but hes not getting the hint and i tell my fella whenever he calls coz we have no secrets, what do i do?? if my fella was chasing a girl like that id be so angry!! one of my friends thought either he has no mates or hes looking to hook up or him and his girlfriend are looking to hook up....any thoughts?!

Ickle Magoo

Change your phone number?

Abi

You are just going to have to tell him out straight. You were probably avoiding this because you don't want to hurt him, but the calls are going to have to stop. Out of respect for your boyfriend and to set this guy back on track.

Do you know his gf? do you think his gf is aware of all these calls?

LegacyUser

Abigayle wrote: »

You are just going to have to tell him out straight. You were probably avoiding this because you don't want to hurt him, but the calls are going to have to stop. Out of respect for your boyfriend and to set this guy back on track.

Do you know his gf? do you think his gf is aware of all these calls?

i never met her but i spoke to her on the phone when i was with him years ago and she said it was great he was off and about so she could head off to do girly things, i dont like confrontation and its starting to get weird, like after two years you'd think he'd get the message of me not answering his calls

pretty-in-pink

you sure he wants to hook up? maybe he is just lonely. i mean you were friends, and it kinda sounds like you ditched him.

i hear bells of *not the full story* here.
if you really want him gone, change ur number. but I would not be jumping to "OMG he wants me" as my first option tbh

krudler

Its taken two years for you to realise you just need to change your number? its easily done, problem solved

Abi

krudler wrote: »

Its taken two years for you to realise you just need to change your number? its easily done, problem solved

I would agree with you, but if the calls are as frequent as the OP says they are, well this might just make things worse and he could land on her door step.

Would you consider even texting him something, if you're too afraid to face him?

miec

Why did you stop palling around with him, you obviously had no concern for his girlfriend then? Is it because you are back with your fella and his friendship is no longer wanted. However, I agree that two years of trying to contact you is excessive but something doesn't add up here.

magneticimpulse

its ok for guys to have female friends and vice versa when they are in a relationship. In fact i would consider it healthy. However if there is more to the story you have not told us and there is history between you two, then i would just change your number? Problem solved. If you really want someone to stop contacting you, its very simple to walk into any phone shop and ask for new number.

LegacyUser

nothing at all happened between us, like not even a handshake, we were more like work colleagues to be honest but if he was lonely why doesnt he talk to his partner? he just text me there saying hi... now im not flattering myself here by saying hes interested but dont you think after two years of him texting and not getting a reply its a bit strange? i just dont want to be mean so i avoid answering the calls and hopes he gets the message

OS119

userabc wrote: »

...i just dont want to be mean so i avoid answering the calls and hopes he gets the message...

i believe the definition of insanty is to repeatedly carry out the same action while expecting a different result.

i've no idea why its not working - you'd think 2 years of no answer would have been an indicator that even the thickest moron would understand - however, time for a new plan; i wouldn't suggest contacting him (if he hasn't taken notice of being ignored for 2 years, he not going to be swayed by a 'please don't contact me again' text), but merely getting a new phone number. you never hear from him again, he sends (for him) comforting texts to a dead number. win/win...

Redpunto

Tell him to stop calling - if he continues tell him you;ll tell the police that hes harrassing you.

mood

Tell him to stop call etc. If that doesn't work change your number. If that doesn't work report it to the guards.

Firetrap

Can you have a number blocked from your phone? I'm thinking that if it was me, I'd resent having to change my number because of some gobsh!te who keeps calling.

OP, do you ever answer or text back? I'd have thought that if you ignored him for long enough that that he didn't get a reaction, that he'd get fed up and clear off?

DB10

Some people just don't get hints. The fact is you are going to have to answer one of his phone calls and tell him you are not interested. Or you could do it face to face.

Avoiding it for so long is not the answer. It seems you don't want to face confrontation but face up to the fact you will have to. It will more than likely continue if you don't. You'll feel alot better after clearing it up with him.