How long is too long?

LegacyUser

Just wanted to put this out there as it has been playing on my mind alot today.
So I met a girl a cpl weeks ago. spent the night kissing and cuddling etc. but nothing more....Fine, liked her so got her number and texted a bit. arranged a meet up at the weekend. Went for a few drinks, well a fair few to be honest (we both seem to like to party it up)
Headed back to hers and well to cut a long story short we spent the night together, but again nothing happened if you know what I mean...same thing as before lots of kissing etc. but no more.

Now to be clear I have no problem with this, I mean I do like her and am willing to give all the time she wants etc. Its just im worried that if this kind of thing happens again (if we do meet again, altough I don't see a reason why not, even since there has been a cpl of promising texts, and we did have great fun together) well im worried things might petter out and i'll end up friend zoning it again. Iprobably shouldn't be thinking this so early but its just this is something that has happened before (recently) and i just feel if i had "sealed the deal" at the begining things may have been different.

As I said I don't in anyway want to rush her, but at the same time don't want to be at the other end of the scale either as I do like her alot.

Any advice on how to play this, or should I just go with the flow and hope it deveops naturally??

ash23

The kissing and petting thing is hardly going to resign you to friend zone.
She knows you are into her. She is into you. Just give her some time. Not everyone wants to put out for every guy they've dated.
Up the ante with the dates in terms of their frequency.
If you only see her once a week, it'll take longer than if you're seeing her 3 times a week.

Also, not every date should be centred around "partying". Now and then yeah, grand, but if you both end up drunk at the end of every date it's a bad move. She might not want to have sex with you for the first time when you've both been on the sauce.
Organise some more "romantic" dates.

When she wants to have sex, she'll let you know. Until then just enjoy the making out.

Miss Fluff

Not sure about you and your friends but I'm less than inclined to kiss and cuddle my male friends so I wouldn't worry about it falling into the friends zone.

She obviously wants to take it slow and you need to disregard your recent experience. Make it clear that you fancy the pants off her and that you can't wait to get her into bed and she will do so when good and ready.

Chill out and show her you like and respect her enough to wait

ash23

Just to add, make sure she knows you're into her but don't be gross about it.
Nothing worse than some guy sending a text telling you he wants to fcuk you unless you're in the middle of a sex text conversation.
Same goes for in person. Unless you're pashing then don't come out with overtly sexual comments.
Don't be presumptious. Stay with what you are doing if that makes sense. So if things are getting hot and heavy don't come out with "ride me sideways" when you've only gotten as far as kissing. Instead say things like "it feels so good when you kiss my neck". Be encouraging without being all about the ride. It's off putting.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, exactly what I wanted to hear. Im in no rush to be honest (I wouldn't say no mind ;-). I think it was the last situation I was in has go me a bit paranoid about things. I kind of got messed about and as Im kind of new to this, (bit of a late bloomer I suppose, was always more of a "player" for want of a better word, and any relationships were short lived things)

Agree also about the partying aspect, This was our 1st time meeting up since the night we hooked up so i think its easiest to have a few drinks and relax rather then anything more serious. Now, ideas for the next meet up??? going to leave it for a couple days now anyway and give a call then, don't want to come on to strong, she's an independent lady and thats one of the things that attracts me...

Novella

I don't think you should be worried about her resigning you to the friendzone. I mean, I wouldn't be likely to indulge in a couple of nights of kissing and petting with a guy with whom I only wanted friendship.

If you want her to know you like her, tell her. I'd say it is best not to tell her you like her in the, "I want to fcuk you" way because that does make it look like you are just after one thing.
Tell her that you enjoy spending time with her, think she's a great person etc. Perhaps maybe you should go on a date that doesn't involve alcohol so that you can see what happens afterwards, ie will you still end it spending the night together etc.

The fact that she hasn't slept with you yet doesn't indicate to me that you're being friendzoned at all. Maybe she just doesn't like to rush things and nothing wrong with that.