Drink is a virus which is making me insane

LegacyUser

Basically all of my close friends are obsessed with drink. Over the last couple of years its gotten to the stage where I can barely think of drink any more. In fact, I want to cut it out entirely. I've always disliked the pub/club scene and its gotten much worse recently. I just can't hack it, I actually think I'll go mad if I have to listen to one more Lady Gaga tune and some dim witted blond tart running around the smoking area like a headless chicken... Honestly, I think drink takes out the absolute worst in people.

I've went out a couple of times without drinking at all, I'm sure most of you can testify to how dull that is. I don't mind being in the pub with friends having 2/3 pints in the evening, but only if its quiet. I love socialising but I hate the fact that it always revolves around booze. When i was younger a mate and me when backpacking through a country where drink was illegal. I had the best time of my life, we actually saw stuff, got up early in the morning, and met real people. You just don't get that when you're stuck in some tacky pub somewhere.

I meet up semi regularly with friends of mine during the day, but not nearly as much as when I was younger. I'm afraid that if I cut out drinking, I'll loose all of my friends. I like going to football matches but I'm beginning to rue that as well as it involves 7 or 8 pints afterwards... I really feel like I'm letting these people drag me down, as much as I love them all.

I'm thinking the only way to cut the chain is to emigrate to a less booze obsessed country and start all over again. I'm worried that the booze is sending me insane. There simply is no way of socialising with them without drinking. I don't know what to do. My job allows me the opportunity to work abroad, fortunately, so money won't be an issue.

P.S- I don't get drunk easily so I can sit and drink and it doesn't really do much to me. But it does leave me depressed when I reach a certain point. I've tried all the old tricks; tipping booze away when no-ones looking, drinking water in between rounds etc. BUT I'm really ANNOYED that I even have to do this pretence. I often wonder just what the hell is wrong with this country.

LegacyUser

I don't drink anymore, family of alcoholics. There is no need to drink if you dont want to.

If your friends are there just for the booze and not for the friendship then maybe they aren't worth hanging on to anyway. I lost a lot of friends because like you said all they are interested in is getting off their face as much as possible.

I feel like I have a better life now... give it a go for a while, you have nothing to lose!!!!!

Fysh

Give it up and throw yourself into everything else that you're interested in - friends who value your friendship for its own sake won't let that get in the way, and the ones who do get weird about it won't be much of a loss.

It's worth seriously considering moving if this still gets you down after quitting, though - the social life=boozing thing is by no means exclusive to Ireland, but it might be easier to escape it and get the fresh start you seem to want as part of a relocation.

Alessandra

outraged011 wrote: »

Basically all of my close friends are obsessed with drink. Over the last couple of years its gotten to the stage where I can barely think of drink any more. In fact, I want to cut it out entirely. I've always disliked the pub/club scene and its gotten much worse recently. I just can't hack it, I actually think I'll go mad if I have to listen to one more Lady Gaga tune and some dim witted blond tart running around the smoking area like a headless chicken... Honestly, I think drink takes out the absolute worst in people.

I've went out a couple of times without drinking at all, I'm sure most of you can testify to how dull that is. I don't mind being in the pub with friends having 2/3 pints in the evening, but only if its quiet. I love socialising but I hate the fact that it always revolves around booze. When i was younger a mate and me when backpacking through a country where drink was illegal. I had the best time of my life, we actually saw stuff, got up early in the morning, and met real people. You just don't get that when you're stuck in some tacky pub somewhere.

I meet up semi regularly with friends of mine during the day, but not nearly as much as when I was younger. I'm afraid that if I cut out drinking, I'll loose all of my friends. I like going to football matches but I'm beginning to rue that as well as it involves 7 or 8 pints afterwards... I really feel like I'm letting these people drag me down, as much as I love them all.

I'm thinking the only way to cut the chain is to emigrate to a less booze obsessed country and start all over again. I'm worried that the booze is sending me insane. There simply is no way of socialising with them without drinking. I don't know what to do. My job allows me the opportunity to work abroad, fortunately, so money won't be an issue.

P.S- I don't get drunk easily so I can sit and drink and it doesn't really do much to me. But it does leave me depressed when I reach a certain point. I've tried all the old tricks; tipping booze away when no-ones looking, drinking water in between rounds etc. BUT I'm really ANNOYED that I even have to do this pretence. I often wonder just what the hell is wrong with this country.

Ireland is more or less a nation of drinkers but not everybody is "obssessed" (as you deem it) with alcohol.

Why don't you make new friends? You don't have to go out to the places with these people if you are uncomfortable?

Aspiration

Hi OP, I don't drink alcohol. For me, drink is unnecessary to have a great night and it doesn't suit me to be drunk, but I still like to go out to pubs with my friends as I love the atmosphere of my local bar and I want to have a good dance to good music every now and then. Sometimes they get hammered, sometimes they don't, but personally I don't have any problems being around my friends when they are drinking and I don't find it dull to be one of he few sober people in a pub. Also, my friends have never isolated me just because of my choice not to drink. We would still be having a good time regardless if I had a drink in my hand or not.

If it's just about the alcohol, then I think you should stand your ground and tell your friends you're cutting down. Give them the reasons for not drinking any more, and ignore the slaggings off you'll get and once they realise you're serious about it then hopefully this will be the turning point. Give going out with them without the booze a chance - it sounds to me like you were resenting the fact you were hiding this issue you have from them and whereas this way it'll be out in the open and you won't have to hide the fact that you don't want to drink and you can then start to embrace nightlife without the drink.

If you're more concerned about you friends segregating you, then honestly, I don't know if I would like to call these people my friends. If you really think they wouldn't want anything to do with a teetotaller then, I wouldn't bother wasting any more time with them and I would go off in search of more understanding and better friends. As the other posters have said, throw yourself into everything else of interest in your life, and if this doesn't work, use this opportunity to move away as you wish.

Pete4779

outraged011 wrote: »

BUT I'm really ANNOYED that I even have to do this pretence. I often wonder just what the hell is wrong with this country.

It's nothing to do with the country and entirely, it seems, you. If you don't have the self-esteem or confidence to order a glass of water instead of a pint in front of your close friends, Ireland is not to blame. Grow a pair, and stand on your own two feet, drink what you want whether alcohol or not. Externalising your own inadequacy and poor self-identity is not going to solve it. You have to actually decide yourself what to do and not wait for some magical light to beam down and make everyone the way you want them to be.