Is The Debs A Good First Date?

karaokeman

I am a 5th year currently still in second level education.

Lately I have been thinking about my Debs, which will be after my Leaving Cert the following September.

I am still single and I know this girl who I would like to ask out. Though we are not going out I do know her very well and she knows me well and we do get along.

I am trying to plan it out and there are a few questions I still ask myself from time to time. I'm just a little anxious because I don't want to rush anything so I'm taking it slowly as I don't have much previous dating experience I'm pretty much a learner at this sort of thing.

My questions I ask myself are;

1. Would the Debs be a good first date or should I ask this girl out sometime now just to have more confidence?

2. When would be a good time to ask her to it. Would it be better to do it now or sometime next year?

3. Any ways I can build myself up to asking her out so I will be prepared?

If anyone would be able to answer some of my questions it would be greatly appreciated

Many thanks to all

loloray

Sweetheart it's ages away. If someone asked me to go on a date with them in a year and a half I would think they were crazy.

I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't even fancy her/know her in September 2011.

If you like her, you could ask her to go to the cinema/Eddie Rockets/whatever with you some time, or just stay in touch with her and see what happens.

martdalto

Your debs is over a year and a half away... There's a good chance that by then you might be interested in a differnt girl. So even if you do go out on a date with this girl soon, don't mention your debs just yet.

Most people invite someone to their debs 2 or 3 months before it.

Do you speak to this girl? Do you text/email her? If you wouldn't be comfortable asking her on a "date" as such.. would you be able to get a group together and all go out somewhere and invite her along?

You're young, you have plenty time to get good at dating and stuff like that! You're not supposed to be good at it when you start out!!

phic

karaokeman wrote: »

I am a 5th year currently still in second level education.

Lately I have been thinking about my Debs, which will be after my Leaving Cert the following September.

I am still single and I know this girl who I would like to ask out. Though we are not going out I do know her very well and she knows me well and we do get along.

I am trying to plan it out and there are a few questions I still ask myself from time to time. I'm just a little anxious because I don't want to rush anything so I'm taking it slowly as I don't have much previous dating experience I'm pretty much a learner at this sort of thing.

My questions I ask myself are;

1. Would the Debs be a good first date or should I ask this girl out sometime now just to have more confidence?

2. When would be a good time to ask her to it. Would it be better to do it now or sometime next year?

3. Any ways I can build myself up to asking her out so I will be prepared?

If anyone would be able to answer some of my questions it would be greatly appreciated

Many thanks to all

Don't ask her yet, a lot can change in a year and a half! the person I would have liked to bring to my Debs in Jan of 5th year, was definitly not the person I wanted to bring by the time it came around!
Also, first dates should ideally be something easygoing that can be over quickly if its not going well, so the Debs really wouldn't be a good one!
Stop thinking about the Debs for now, and just ask her out on a date. A nice easygoing date that doesn't require weeks of preparation or last for about 12 hours! I'd suggest coffee, cinema, something like that.
As for how to build yourself up to asking her out, just remember that the worst she can say is no. Which sounds awful, but really isn't that bad. Why waste the next year or so waiting to ask her out, when you could be with her now? Your far more likely to get a yes now than next year, when she could have a new boyfriend, or put you in the friendzone.
good luck!

Mr. Incognito

Bring her ice skating- great excuse to "hold her up" and watch how often she slips.

If she's skating at 90 miles and hour to get away from you i'd get the drift,

however if she's hobbling like bambi on bacardi you might get the hint.

God I'd love to be a teenager again- you don't know how appreciate the angst one bit.

Youth is wasted on the young-

Best of luck dude

karaokeman

martdalto wrote: »

Do you speak to this girl? Do you text/email her? If you wouldn't be comfortable asking her on a "date" as such.. would you be able to get a group together and all go out somewhere and invite her along?

I text this girl all the time, like I stated earlier we know each other very well and we know each other very well.

Yeah I have actually thought about going to see a movie or something with my best friend and asking the girl I know would she like to bring one of her friends along.

Maybe sometime when the snow clears up I do think the cinema would be a good choice.

I will see how things go, for now I just want her to know that I like her as a friend because I don't want to rush anything.

mood

It's ages away!

But not really good for first date. If you don't have a girl friend at the time bring a female friend. You will have good night with out the pressure of the date.

Evil-p

mood wrote: »

It's ages away!

But not really good for first date. If you don't have a girl friend at the time bring a female friend. You will have good night with out the pressure of the date.

I beg the differ - 10 years after our first date at the debs and as happy as ever:D

karaokeman

Evil-p wrote: »

I beg the differ - 10 years after our first date at the debs and as happy as ever:D

mood wrote: »

It's ages away!

But not really good for first date. If you don't have a girl friend at the time bring a female friend. You will have good night with out the pressure of the date.

I know what you mean, I am actually single and so is the girl I know.
I am considering asking her out sometime in the next few months, I only asked would the Debs be a good first date because I want to make sure I have made a good impression on our first date.

jenga-jen

karaokeman wrote: »

for now I just want her to know that I like her as a friend because I don't want to rush anything.

Don't voluntarily put yourself in the dreaded 'friend zone'!!

If at any stage you think you're going to want to go out on a date/kiss the face off this girl then expressing any type of 'I like you as a friend' sentiment at this point could make it very awkward for you to make that leap.

Trust me, I know! :rolleyes:

I think your idea of going to the cinema, asking her and both bringing a friend could be your best option. You let her know you want to spend time with her without the pressure of a date-type scenario! Just see how it develops..

Good luck

entropi

OP some quick but essential advice for you that has not been said yet...if you like her now, just ask her out asap! Who knows, if you wait then someone else will step up to the plate and get the chance before you, and maybe end up going out with her...please just go ask her, the worst thing that'll happen is she says no.

martdalto

karaokeman wrote: »

I am considering asking her out sometime in the next few months,

Why so long? Why wait? Ask her out now. Do you get a "feeling" from her? Do you get the feeling that she likes you as possibly more than a friend? The longer this goes on, then the more you become "friends", and girls who have boy "friends" tend to not want to ruin that friendship by going out with them.

As someone else has said - get in there before someone else does. If you know her well and are in regular contact, then you don't have to worry about making a good first impression on a first date! She already knows you. You've already made your impression on her! If she agrees to go out with you it's because she likes you and wants to be in your company. Don't stress yourself by trying to be someone or something else. If she agrees, then she already likes you. Don't mess with something if you already have gotten it right!!!

Why not do it before the weekend is over?!

karaokeman

People, people thanks for all the replies.
I have had a long thought about this whole thing and I don't feel under pressure anymore. I think it was just the whole thing about teenage anxiety that was getting to me but I'm over it now.
I know exactly what to do and I won't ask anyone to my Debs till very late in 6th year.
Look forward to seeing how this year goes (between now and the end of 6th year). I feel no stress after all the discussion in this thread so cheers to all, really means a lot to me.:cool: