Contact with ex, trivial reason

LegacyUser

Not a major problem, but a slightly strange one.
Was cleaning out my wardrobe the other day, found a t-shirt that belongs to my ex-GF. It is still new, in the wrapper and everything. I remember she ordered it using my credit card.
It wasn't expensive, but thats not the point. Its hers.

Should I call her or email her or what?

The break up was relatively amicable, but painful for all sides. We had a serious long term relationship. We split up 2 and a half years ago and we have not seen each other or made any contact since. We both have new partners.

Should I contact her to say that I have some clothes belonging to her? And how do I do it? Nearly 3 years without contact...

Advice appreciated.

CDfm

There is no reason to contact her. Its just a T Shirt. Give it into a charity shop.

LegacyUser

Absolutley not.
If she wanted the t-shirt, she would've asked you for it by now.
Seems to me you are looking for an excuse to get in touch! Throw the t-shirt and thoughts of your ex away.

OS119

CDfm wrote: »

There is no reason to contact her. Its just a T Shirt. Give it into a charity shop.

^^^this^^^

of course, its also yours, given that she 'bought it' using your credit card....

modest_marie

Hi

I was in a similar situation a few months back where I found certs belonging to my ex. I thought he might need them.

I simply posted them to his parents address which I still knew. i didn't put a note or anything. But I'm sure he know where they came from!

If you know an address you could just post it off, if you don't then it's only a T shirt and I don't think it would be worth contacting your ex over it, as it might seem like not a genuine reason to contact them, or they may think there's some other reason you contacted!!!

We all lose things as part of break ups! It's part of it!!

DubLass

Give it to a new girl!

LegacyUser

lillypad wrote: »

Absolutley not.
If she wanted the t-shirt, she would've asked you for it by now.
Seems to me you are looking for an excuse to get in touch! Throw the t-shirt and thoughts of your ex away.

Thats absolutely ridiculous. Did you read my post at all, I found it by chance when I was clearing out some old stuff. I even said it was trivial.

It was nearly 3 years ago, we are both over each other. Why can't people take things at face value............or at least read the post before giving advice.

Anyway, thank you for the responses, think I will give it a charity or post it to her, like modest_marie suggested.

Wouldn't dream of giving it to my current GF tbh.

IITYWYBMAD

trivial?? wrote: »

Thats absolutely ridiculous. Did you read my post at all, I found it by chance when I was clearing out some old stuff. I even said it was trivial.

It was nearly 3 years ago, we are both over each other. Why can't people take things at face value............or at least read the post before giving advice.

Anyway, thank you for the responses, think I will give it a charity or post it to her, like modest_marie suggested.

Wouldn't dream of giving it to my current GF tbh.

I think if it was that trivial, you would not be posting on a internet board about it. Whatever the reason for your initial posting, there is no good reason why you should contact this girl, given the fact you have already admitted that there was hurt involved. I can understand your curiosity around it, but just leave it at that, no good can be gained from it.

Give the T-Shirt to a charity shop, or throw it out.

LegacyUser

trivial?? wrote: »

Thats absolutely ridiculous. Did you read my post at all, I found it by chance when I was clearing out some old stuff. I even said it was trivial.

It was nearly 3 years ago, we are both over each other. Why can't people take things at face value............or at least read the post before giving advice.

Anyway, thank you for the responses, think I will give it a charity or post it to her, like modest_marie suggested.

Wouldn't dream of giving it to my current GF tbh.

Seems I hit a nerve there!! If it was so trivial, you would find no need to post on an internet forum looking for advice on the matter.
You say you are both over each other but from your OP you say you haven't been in contact at all the past 3 years so how do you know this?? I'm 100% sure she is over you alright but I can't say the same for you...

If I found a t-shirt belonging to my ex (who I actually split up with 3 yrs ago aswell) I would immediately bin it and not give it a second thought!!! On the other side, if my ex sent me a stupid tshirt in the post or randomly contacted me about it after 3 years, I would be freaked out TBH and think he was a bit pathetic.

So, sorry, I can't take your post at face value!

SheRa

After splitting up a few years ago you are considering contacting her to give her an item of clothing? Thats mad altogether. All it may do is bring back sad memories for her. Don't contact her or post it to her, definitely give it to a charity shop.

dublingal80

god i couldnt even guess my ex's phone number or email

yeah give it to a charity shop. 3 years is ages away so if you did call her about it it prob wouldnt fit or she would hate it now anyway

Barracudaincork

trivial??? wrote: »

Not a major problem, but a slightly strange one.
Was cleaning out my wardrobe the other day, found a t-shirt that belongs to my ex-GF. It is still new, in the wrapper and everything. I remember she ordered it using my credit card.
It wasn't expensive, but thats not the point. Its hers.

Should I call her or email her or what?

The break up was relatively amicable, but painful for all sides. We had a serious long term relationship. We split up 2 and a half years ago and we have not seen each other or made any contact since. We both have new partners.

Should I contact her to say that I have some clothes belonging to her? And how do I do it? Nearly 3 years without contact...

Advice appreciated.

OP dont you realise that all ex girlfriends get uglier and fatter once you break up, not a chance the t-shirt will fit now!

Its thoughful you didnt just want to throw it out, but nobody would expect you to try and get it to her either, so charity shop is the way to go.

LegacyUser

lillypad wrote: »

Seems I hit a nerve there!! If it was so trivial, you would find no need to post on an internet forum looking for advice on the matter.
You say you are both over each other but from your OP you say you haven't been in contact at all the past 3 years so how do you know this?? I'm 100% sure she is over you alright but I can't say the same for you...

If I found a t-shirt belonging to my ex (who I actually split up with 3 yrs ago aswell) I would immediately bin it and not give it a second thought!!! On the other side, if my ex sent me a stupid tshirt in the post or randomly contacted me about it after 3 years, I would be freaked out TBH and think he was a bit pathetic.

So, sorry, I can't take your post at face value!

Bloody hell. Its a Ralph Lauren t-shirt, she was big into her clothes. She paid for it, its not mine to just dump.

Once again, if you had bothered to read the opening post, I already said that I was over her, we both have new partners.
There are no feelings involved. I'm telling you, so you will just have to accept it. I think I know my own mind and feelings better than you.

Anyway, I'm going with the consensus - charity shop it is.

Thanks to all who didn't try to play amateur psychologist and just gave me advice.

modest_marie

Hey OP,

You asked for advice and People on here and only giving you their 2 cents worth!

At the end of the day it is a very trivial thing to want to contact her to send her the T shirt. I'm sure she doesn't even remember it!

If you think for a few moments you can prob answer this question yourself re sending it or not...!

Don't be defensive about the feelings thing. Nobody on here wants you to justify you not having feelings, and the fact that you have a partner etc.

Everyone is only telling you what they think. Don't be so harsh :-)

mylittlepony

As its a designer tshirt paid out of ur credit card, wot about give it to a female family member or female friend?

If my friends didnt like their clothes or doesnt fit anymore,
they give it to me.

Wurly

Why don't you just post it to her?

But in fairness, it's 3 years on. If it had have been that important, she would have come looking for it.

I wouldn't go contacting her though.

LegacyUser

Mate I think you've picked the right idea to give it a charity shop.

If you gave it to a family member and seen it on them you'd always be thinking ah that's 'her' top. I'm NOT saying that you'd be upset seeing it or anything as you've obviously both moved on. 3 years is a long time to be out of contact. It's prob best to keep it that way. She may get upset if she received it in the post thinking about what might have been. If her current b/f seen her upset it could cause drama in their relationship when they don't need it. Similarly I'm not saying she'd be pining for you either but people can get emotional over these things. It's only natural.

Picture how you would feel if you got something in the post of her without contact for 3 years. Would you be upset/annoyed/indifferent etc? You're happy, she's happy and now you have a chance to make a stranger happy by getting a designer t-shirt for a bargain in a charity shop! Spread the happiness I say.

1071823928

email her and say you were doing a spring clean and you found it, its hers if she wants it. she might have wanted to get it before but didnt want to ask!?