Getting Over an ex

Trout99

Over the holidays my gf broke up with me siting that she needed space but later told me she wanted to break up. This came as a real shock because we were getting on so well. Anyways I can stop thinking about her and have had many sleepless nights. Any advice on how to move on?

extra-ordinary_

Sorry to hear that. How long were you together?


You'd probably get a lot more responses if this thread was moved to the 'Relationship issues' forum.

Trout99

Over the holidays my girlfriend decided she wanted some space. she's 17 and will be 18 in feb.Im 19 and will be 20 in march. However after a talk on the fone things were left on bad terms. We broke up. I was suprised about her feelings because we got on so well. We are in the same college and spent everyday with each other. She does not like her course and is under pressure with it.She also comes from a family where here parents have split and obviously that puts a bit more pressure on things. This all came about after I was texting her one day and she said she was really missing me then she said she had a conversation with her mother and then asked me was our relationship too serious? I replyied it is serious but I dont mind im enjoying every second off it. over the christmas she was really quiet not texting back, stuff like that. Then it all came out about her needing space then the break up happend. Since new years I have had very little sleep and miss her a lot she still doesnt text me back. I really dont understand because I treated her just right. hav anybody any tips on how to get over this girl or should I take her back if she wants me back? I know that when we go back to college she will wont me back. But is it worth putting myself through this heartbreak again?

That_Guy

You're both extremely young and as much as you may love this girl the best thing to do is just to move on and cut all communication.

It sounds extremely harsh but it's what has to be done. If you keep wallowing in self pity and cling to hope that she's thinking of you then you need to realise that she's most likely not thinking about you. I'm sounding extremely harsh but believe me I've had to go through this process plenty of times.

You're young so go out with mates and enjoy yourself and don't think too much about feeling guilty if you hook up with other girls. You are single again so you may as well embrace the single life.

Best of luck OP. It does get easier even if you don't think it will.

Paulegend

sorry to hear dude. my break up was this time of the year aswell. it really really sucks. best thing you can do is be around your mates as much as possible. you dont have to go get drunk or anything but do socialise even though you really wont want to.

Trout99

Paulegend wrote: »

sorry to hear dude. my break up was this time of the year aswell. it really really sucks. best thing you can do is be around your mates as much as possible. you dont have to go get drunk or anything but do socialise even though you really wont want to.

I have after posting the full story on relationship issues. I was with her for nearly 4 months.Not too long but it was serious were both quite young but I miss her a lot. Yeah I found that going out with mates helps alot man! jus is gonna take time 2 get used 2. I know a few other mates that have had break ups over the holidays.do u think the whole christmas and new years puts a good bit of stress on relationships for some reason?

Paulegend

well its gotta when you think about how stressed everyone is with work and trying to get poresents for people and the caos that is christmas shoppers. not to mention that people are worried about being broke and stuck in a rut at the moment. itll take time mate but trust me i taught it would never get better. i still have feelings for her 2 years later. was a similar situation to your but we where together almost 3 years. we where in paris and a few other places together. hell we even kinda talked about inevitable marriage and kids. but things happen in everyones life where we just have to go our seperate ways. believe me mate youll get serious with someone else without even knowing it. just keep up the optimisim and take it one day at a time.

midlandsmissus

The only thing that heals is time.

Main advice here:

Don't look at her facebook/bebo to see what she's up to. This will only make it take longer to get over her.

It hurts, but the best thing to do is to cut off all contact altogether.

I've been in that situation where I thought I would never get over some-one, and now I'm totally fine.I'd say it took me about a year to get totally over him, I was with him a good while though.

Good luck!

speedboatchase

OP the best advice I can give is what happened to me, 3 years ago I was dumped outta the blue right before Xmas. I was so confused and angry at my ex but I wanted one thing - us back together. This never happened and then the turning point was when I realised that whole time I didn't actually want her back, I just wanted HER to want me back and that satisfaction that would come with that.

Delete all pics of her, avoid her bebo/facebook and don't rush intimacy with anybody for a while. Myself and my current gf got together 4 months after that breakup and will be 3 years in April so don't beat yourself up about it or question your value, things will get better

dublingal80

That Guy is right. You have to move on. You can keep texting her and trying to call her and keep missing her and not get over her, or you can just delete her number, all her texts, emails, everything and try and forget about her and believe me you will

I know its hard breaking up with someone that you care so much about but if she wants space or a break, there is nothing you can do about it and the more you text her, the more suffocated she will feel and the futher away she will go

Delete everything you have of hers so you cant contact her, go out with your friends and have some fun and in the mean time if she contacts you, great, if not, who cares, you will be having fun!!

OldGoat

OP, moved your thread to here in the Personal Issues forum where you'll find oodles of advice.

Trout99

cheers for the help guys.
I deleted all her stuff and im tryin to stop myself going onto her bebo and facebook. its tough and im snowed in so cant exactly get out of the house which makes it harder. but cheers for the advice

bella2010

i think its a bit much if she just wants space just give it to her and she prob will come back to you.. if she does start texting you again and said she made a mistake would you take her back ??

Pricey

Thats difficult and especially given the timing.

I felt like this many times, its completely normal to feel this way, but there is a cure.

I remember this one time that I was fixated on this girl and then it ended. It was not a nice feeling.
But life goes on, and you meet more people, and realise there are 3,000,000,000 women in the world, and why am I hung up over this one girl, am I crazy, so after one mad night of fun and discovering more options in my life, the pain was gone.

everything runs its course, you have to say good bye to everyone at some stage.

This may sound blunt, but I wished somebody was this blunt to me when I felt bad so I could concentrate on more important issues and stop wasting time.

If you want more assistance just let me know

Pricey ;-)

Trout99

Pricey wrote: »

Thats difficult and especially given the timing.

I felt like this many times, its completely normal to feel this way, but there is a cure.

I remember this one time that I was fixated on this girl and then it ended. It was not a nice feeling.
But life goes on, and you meet more people, and realise there are 3,000,000,000 women in the world, and why am I hung up over this one girl, am I crazy, so after one mad night of fun and discovering more options in my life, the pain was gone.

everything runs its course, you have to say good bye to everyone at some stage.

This may sound blunt, but I wished somebody was this blunt to me when I felt bad so I could concentrate on more important issues and stop wasting time.

If you want more assistance just let me know

Pricey ;-)

Cheers for the advice people. She text me last nite, so I text her back for a bit. I didnt mention anything bout our relationship jus kept it too small talk. Then she didnt text me back?? I honestly dont know whats going on with the girl!!

Trout99

bella2010 wrote: »

i think its a bit much if she just wants space just give it to her and she prob will come back to you.. if she does start texting you again and said she made a mistake would you take her back ??

hi bella, She text me last nite , So I text her back I didn mention anything about our relationship jus kept it too sort of small talk, I wasnt being short with her or anything but then she decides not to text me back. I really dont understand the girl. Im not sure If I will get back with her to be honest. I do really miss her and I cant stop thinking about her but the last week for me has been hell I dont really want to put myself through it again

tinkerbell

She wants her space - so give her space. Stop texting her / calling her and don't reply to her. If she wants you back then you ignoring will make her realise it's a mistake and ye can discuss things then.

TitoPuente

Trout99 wrote: »

Cheers for the advice people. She text me last nite, so I text her back for a bit. I didnt mention anything bout our relationship jus kept it too small talk. Then she didnt text me back?? I honestly dont know whats going on with the girl!!

She's playing games with you. And you're falling for it... and torturing yourself in the process. Next time she texts you, you don't reply to her. You'll feel a lot better in the long-run.

The Recliner

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