Wanting to break up

The Nice Jumper

I've been going out with this foreign girl for a few years and have even bothered to learn her language, but now I want to break up with her. The problem is that I can't face going through the whole rigmarole of another foreign girl and even passed up a date with a hot french girl recently because I couldn't face the cultural learning curve all over again, so I'm thinking it has to be Irish....or from her country so that all I've learnt won't go to waste. I'm aware that this probably sounds a bit daft, but just curious to know what people's thoughts are on this. Anyone ever find themselves in a similar boat?

The Nice Jumper

Well that too. I wouldn't have met her without breaking up first

cafecolour

Conversation chemistry is such a large part of the attraction for me, I don't think I could settle with someone I couldn't have an indepth conversation with. But there must be near half a billion fluent English speakers in the world, so I can't imagine that'll be a limiting factor.

On the other hand, another language is a great thing to have, so good for you for learning one regardless. Dating someone is certainly one the best ways. And being willing to put that much effort and compromise into a relationship is really one of the key things to making one work in the long term.

Really this just seems to be a reaction to breaking up with your current girlfriend. I'm guess you are looking to settle down if you are in the 'that was a waste of time' mindset. The thing is, if you're in that mindset, any relationship that doesn't end up being 'the one' is going to leave you with a bitter after taste that it was a 'waste of time.' So unless you broke up entirely because of the cultural distance - or the language difference helped disguise your incompatibility for that long - i wouldn't necessarily make it a deal breaker.

Barracudaincork

The Nice Jumper wrote: »

so I'm thinking it has to be Irish....or from her country so that all I've learnt won't go to waste

"IT" has to be Irish, shall i assume you now require a Irish made blow up doll/sheep?

Given your obvious charm and romantic notions of stuff "learnt not going to waste" I think this may be the path you need to take, after all, all that stuff you learnt in Geography, Maths, Irish etc in school gets used so much on a daily basis it would be a major shame to have actually aquired some additional skills only to have them go to waste!

I have a funny feeling OP you might not even get to decide, cause chances are if you are this charming in real life, no intelligent Irish or foreign girl will want you!

The Nice Jumper

Barracudaincork wrote: »

"IT" has to be Irish, shall i assume you now require a Irish made blow up doll/sheep?

Given your obvious charm and romantic notions of stuff "learnt not going to waste" I think this may be the path you need to take, after all, all that stuff you learnt in Geography, Maths, Irish etc in school gets used so much on a daily basis it would be a major shame to have actually aquired some additional skills only to have them go to waste!

I have a funny feeling OP you might not even get to decide, cause chances are if you are this charming in real life, no intelligent Irish or foreign girl will want you!

Ok so I have back-to-work blues today and maybe I'm not coming across as very charming, but I didn't mean it so come across in that way.

The fact is that I really do have a sense of thinking that I really loved her country and would consider buying a house there but maybe I am more taken with the idea rather than her herself.

Barracudaincork

The Nice Jumper wrote: »

Ok so I have back-to-work blues today and maybe I'm not coming across as very charming, but I didn't mean it so come across in that way.

The fact is that I really do have a sense of thinking that I really loved her country and would consider buying a house there but maybe I am more taken with the idea rather than her herself.

Ok fair enough, yeah it is stink you are back in work, but it could be worse! They could ban boards.ie in work!!!!

I do know what you mean when you say you were taken with the country and not really her, and to be honest, fair play to you for realising that and breaking up with her etc etc

Why couldnt you move to this other country and start a new life there anyhow, where you will meet men and women to become friends with and hopefully someone special too? Or is your situation thus, that you have to stay in Ireland and therefore are "limited" to the number of people you could connect with?

dearg lady

I took 'it' to mean you were referring to the relationship...you were right??

I think cafecolour has the right idea, you need to try to stop viewing this relationship, the time spent in it, the language learned as a waste of time. Presumably you're upset to end the relationship, that's completely natural and normal, but I bet you've grown a lot as a result of the relationship. Plus an extra language, that's fantastic!!

Don't focus on your next relationship already. Finish your current relationship, and allow yourself time to get over it. You never know where you might end up or what's in store for you down the road, just take it as it comes and think positive

The Nice Jumper

Yes, "it" was meant to mean the relationship in general. I think cafecolours pretty much hit the nail on the head with regard to the conversation dynamic, frames of reference etc., but I think this shouldn't necessarily be insurmountable. Before I went out with her I had met 2 girls on the same day (very strange day...long story), both were Irish and the entire fiasco turned me off Irish women and meeting a non-Irish girl seemed altogether refreshing, but now I seem to be harking after an Irish girl.

Barracudaincork

The Nice Jumper wrote: »

Before I went out with her I had met 2 girls on the same day (very strange day...long story), both were Irish and the entire fiasco turned me off Irish women and meeting a non-Irish girl seemed altogether refreshing, but now I seem to be harking after an Irish girl.

OP, take a bag of Tayto cheese and onion and open it, in there you will find all different shapes and sizes of a potato chip, they all taste good, look good etc etc then you find that green/burnt awful one, which isnt a bit like the others, but its still a Tayto. In other words just cause one chip is bad doesnt make all Taytos bad, and likewise just cause one chip is good, should you expect all to be good too?

You unfortunately came accross two right c*ws the day you met those two Irish women, kinda like getting two green chips in a packet!

Dont hark over any nationality, just hark after Miss Right

Wagon

The Nice Jumper wrote: »

Before I went out with her I had met 2 girls on the same day (very strange day...long story), both were Irish and the entire fiasco turned me off Irish women and meeting a non-Irish girl seemed altogether refreshing, but now I seem to be harking after an Irish girl.

More and more lads say this but I think it's an age thing rather than a nationality thing, i know girls who are from different countries and are complete eejits as well. Aim for women who might be a little older (say 26 -27). Sadly though, they are often taken.