Need help

sawsax92

This is a long story but I'll try keep it short. I'm 17, and last March I met the girl of my dreams, or so I thought. We became really close friends between march and the summer, so eventually I decided to ask her out, but she said she didnt feel the same way, and that she thought were better off just being friends. I was ok with that. I asked her to my grads just as a friend, it was a great night, so I text her the following morning telling her thanks for a great night etc. and then things started to get weird. She stopped talking to me, and said that she felt uncomfortable around me, while I tried to fix the problem by calling her and asking her whats up, but she didnt want to talk to me so I gave her some space. Unfortunately this was all going on when I started college, which was a big change for me, and losing my best friend at the same time made it very difficult for me. However eventually she apologised and we made up briefly in october. In november she then got mad at me out of the blue telling me ive changed and im not the same boy she used to know, and when i asked what she meant she said nevermind, i know how i feel and i dont have to explain it to anyone. It really upset me because i didnt know what i had done, but she refused to talk and we went through another lengthy period of not talking, but thankfully she made up with me again. Things have been great with her again until now. On new years eve she asked me if i still liked her, to which i replied i think so, but im learning to see you as just a friend. Things have gotten really weird again since then, and her reply to that was, um i dont know what to say. I got really confused because i thought that she wanted me to see her as just a friend, but her answer seemed slightly disappointed almost, along with the fact that she was being short with me for the last few days. So last night i thought id try sort it out incase it got out of hand again, by asking her "whats wrong, i thought you wanted me to feel this way?" and she started getting snippy with me telling me to stop beating around the bush and that she shouldnt have bothered talking to me. It really upsets me when she get so angry with me so i decided to quit while i was ahead and leave her be, by texting her back 'im sorry, i was being silly i was reading too much into it.' She said it was fine but it obviously wasnt because shes usually so nice to me when shes not in a mood. Tonight i was talking to her online, and she was again being short with me, so i apologised again for upsetting her the night before, which she said was fine. Then she exploded into this random rant about how she hates being around me when she knows i feel that way about her and goes on to say that she hates when i tell other people my feelings towards her and it gets back to her through someone else. This really confused me, because ive only told me closest friends, so i said do you mean paula? and she was like OMG YOU TOLD PAULA? (a close mutual friend of ours) and started getting really angry telling me that i shouldnt lie to her and stuff which totally doesnt make any sense. and she then got upset because i told my friend ben that i liked her. i told her that i didnt see what the problem was since i told him in confidence and hes my best friend and she told me i thought i was your best friend too. then she said she needs space from me and i apologised again and left the conversation saying talk to you soon bud, and she replied rather sarcastically 'gr8 bye'. Later on she posts on her twitter 'whats worse than a liar? nothing.' obviously directed towards me, but i havent lied about anything. Shes my best friend and i absoloutly love her to bits, but i dont understand why she treats me this way when she knows how depressed i am at the moment with college being a real let down, and the fact that i havent met any real friends yet and all of my friends from school have moved onto universities elsewhere in the country. it makes me feel so lonely, i have no one to talk to all day. its almost like she has no respect for me, and she knows she can get angry at me for random out of the blue reasons and get away with it. and i know it too, even though she never apologises about her outbursts and periods of wanting nothing to do with me, ill always have a place for her in my life. i miss when she used to respect me and love me for who i am. its almost like im a burden on her because she almost always cancels last minute before we meet up with dumb excuses like 'it might rain later' and when i reply she says im sure you can find someone else to go to town with you. true i can, but i wanted to spend some time with her. i dont understand what im doing wrong, i try so hard to make her happy but in the end she always takes out her anger on me, and i know its not got for me. since september ive had the worst few months of my life, largely due to her hating me and then being friends again over and over. its hard. Ive considered taking my life several times and i get closer each time. when i harm myself it helps take the mental pain away by distracting myself with physical pain. i dont want to be like this. please can someone reply.

barleybooley

Move on OP, this girl and her moods are not good for you. Get out there and make friends as soon as you go back to college and things will get better. You're only young and this is only an infatuation. if she really is your friend she'll come around and apologise, if not, leave it be. Best of luck!

Mary007

She's just using you, she knows how you feel about her and she uses that against you by playing mindgames. I know that it's hard, but you should try and just let her be. Don't fall into her traps. Get involved in some societies at college and try and make some new friends. You really don't need her, especially if she is treating you like that consistently. You were right when you said she has no respect for you because from what you've said she mustn't. You sound like a nice person, don't let it drag you down.

Dublin141

She sounds like a crazy biatch from that post. I'm feeling confused and it didn't even happen to me!

It sort of sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. She might like the ego boost she gets from knowing you like her then backs off when it gets too much iykwim. She was definitely picking at things to fight with you about and even if she has been told stories about you or genuinely thinks you lied to her about something, she has no right to treat you like crap. I don't know why she's so angry and moody but she can't take it out on you just because she knows you'll let her. You have to stop being a doormat to this girl.

You should try to move on completely from her, I would think. You're so into her that you're letting her away with anything. It's not good for either of you. She's mad when you like her and mad when you say you don't so you can't win. She needs to cop on to herself and you need to keep your distance. If she's a good friend then she'll make the effort but thus far it seems like you're the only who is actually trying to be a friend.

Concentrate on yourself and getting on in college. You don't need all of that unnecessary drama and aggro - especially if she doesn't have the decency to explain herself. You're not a mind reader.

You will never make her happy because she doesn't want to let you. Please don't hurt yourself over this girl, it's so not worth it. You're going to meet lots of nice, mature, stable people in life who will make all of this seem laughable some day. All this girl does is make you hurt, you don't need that so let her go. Being around her has not made you happy.