Am I cynic or is this good?

LegacyUser

I asked a friend of a friend out on a date a good while ago. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship and it was a very amicable, mature "no thank you". We kept seeing each other through our mutual friend and ended up good friends. There was no tension and we both moved on from the situation pretty well (at least I thought).

That's over a year ago now and we've become really good friends. Lately we've been getting a lot closer, often mistaken for a couple. We've walked arm in arm, are very touchy and physical with each other and talk to each other every day. This sort of intimacy has confused me and I've started of thinking of her in a more than friends way again which is troubling

So has she warmed to me and is giving me hints or have I gone so far into the "friendzone" that I these things aren't weird anymore? I'm young and single so either way would be fine for me, I just would like to know somehow without asking her flat out. Currently I'm doing nothing because I think the friendship is the most important thing but sometimes it definitely feels like there's something more to it.

A friend suggested I should just get pissed and kiss her but that seems like a horrible idea to me.
thoughts?

DubLass

Ask someone else out that you like and go on a date. I don't mean in a using way but surely you do date now and then? If it were me I'd be interested to see what her reaction is

LegacyUser

Sounds to me like you are a firm friend and given that she told you she didnt want to go out with you, a year has passed and any potential anmosity as been averted, she is comfortable with you again. Dont read into it as it will wreck your head. She is most possibly merry and being friendly.

Ciara

Posy

It sounds like a 12 year old's advice but what about asking a mutual friend to suss her out? Something like 'we're close friends now but sometimes she's a bit touchy/feely or I sometimes feel I'm getting mixed signals.. could you discreetly find out if she definitely wants just my company or is it more? I'd hate for any mix ups to ruin a great friendship. etc etc.' That way it sounds like you value her as a friend and you're covering yourself- 'I don't want HER to get the wrong message, I'm not lusting after her you understand..'

Or as DubLass said maybe find someone you'd like to ask on a date then check with your friend first.. 'I think Mary at work fancies me... but I wanted to see how you'd feel about this; sometimes I think I'm getting the message you might want to be more than just friends... hate to jeopardize our friendship... and then if it's a 'NO, we're just FRIENDS, God, do you STILL fancy me!!??' you've covered yourself with the 'I thought YOU might have feelings for me but it's great that you don't, I can ask Mary out now without worrying that I'd unintentionally hurt you, which I'd hate to do because we're such good FRIENDS.. etc.)

Whatever you do, tread carefully because it'd be terrible to lose her friendship or to go back to that awkward 'I better not hug him in case he thinks it's a marriage proposal' stage for her either.

LD 50

Sounds like to me you've just gotten very close as friends. There's nothing untowardley intimate about linking arms or stuff like that.