Life/College issues

LegacyUser

I am in my third year of gen Science and I am contemplating dropping out. Lately I feel "on edge" all the time and feel as if the work has piled up to the point where ****ing up the year is likely. I wish I could actually express these feelings to people who know.

There are exams in a few days, along with three large projects and 2 overdue assignments. Needless to say, I feel absolutely shaken even when I am not thinking about college stuff. I used to have pretty good marks, now I have dropped to a 2.2 band which I feel
I should be able to get at least a mid 2.1 average. Considering employers do not consider degree grades below "Gold standard" 2.1/1.1 It's been on my mind to just simply stop at this point. I just can't take it anymore. Getting below this is nearly worse than not attending college at all, or so I am lead to believe.

I work on personal projects in my own time, which sadly do not relate to college work even though they are computer science based. "Depression" may be the term you are thinking of, but I would prefer not be categorically labeled as a misfit by Lecturers/Counseling. I have no intention of visiting the college counselling center considering they pretty much told me "I am fine" at the last attempt. I don't want pity, but life just seems a bit dull for the past two years. I don't currently have a social life because I am so wound up with college. I am getting nowhere. Suicide is a depressing thought, and I have not considered it because I do recognise that you only get one life then it's lights out for good. What frightens me is that I feel I should not be this way, because other than college worries and social issues, I feel worse when you read about people in Africa starving and the like. Staying up all night and sleeping all day seems to be more common for the past year. I have not slept since 10am yesterday.

Basically, I feel like I am going to crack under the pressure, and that leaving isn't an option because I still live with my parents who have paid fees for the year. I feel like everyone else is running circles around me, so leaving seems inevitable considering I can't handle college anymore. Working is going to be a tough prospect given the state of the economy at present. Don't know what to do anymore. Life just seems a bit pointless and stale when you consider the fact we are nothing but overdeveloped apes fighting for every scrap and resource by evaluating the self worth of each individual.I feel like a severe misanthrope. Everything boils down to self gain and self interests. The mere thought of going through this circus for another 50+ years sounds like the closest thing to hell if such a place actually existed. I feel like a giant meteor hitting the earth would put everyone out of their misery once and for all. Serious illness and the like even make me think more about life in general. Truely crappy existence we live till the day we die.

Just some of my musings to consider. Thank you for reading.

tenchi-fan

You have a "life's **** and then you die" attitude. You're wasting energy thinking about depressing scenarios, ruminating over what you perceive to be failures and assuming the worst is going to happen to you.

First off, employers aren't only interested in 2.1s and 2.2s. True, some employers are. Others like the fact that people saw something through to the end. Not only are you expecting the worst, your expectations from yourself are too high and you're worried about what other people will think. Give yourself a break!

Second, you're meant to enjoy college. College is an experience, not the results you get at the end. If you really don't enjoy it why not consider transferring to another course, or just leaving altogether? Or put all negative thoughts out of your head and aim for the bare minimum 40% - i.e. devote your energy to studying rather than thinking about the most catastrophic outcome. Don't worry about your parents and their money - because it's your life.

As for "when you consider the fact we are nothing but overdeveloped apes fighting for every scrap and resource by evaluating the self worth of each individual" - that's just student talk. You obviously need to mature a bit. Hopefully coping will be a skill you learn at college because you are right - life doesn't get easier after college but with the right attitude you will deal with it better.

Kevster

I've been where you are now. Talk about what's going through your head to your friends, family, and head-lecturer. You don't have to internalise all of this; and should be releasing it. I made the big mistake of keeping my feelings to myself for three-quarters of the academic year, and it turned out to be a full year wasted.

Talk, talk, talk...

Kevin

LegacyUser

hi there, I felt I ought to reply to your post because I felt the same as you in college. I actually dropped out of my course after the third year. People told me I was crazy, that I would never get a job and would I not just stick it out for one more year to get a dregree. I just said no because I felt that one more day was a day too many that I didn't want to spend feeling awful and unhappy all the time. I got a lot of lectures from family/friends telling me what a huge mistake it was but looking back it was the right choice for me. That was 10 years ago and now I have as good a job as anyone else who has a snazzy degree on their CV. Like a previous poster said employers don't just look for qualifications, they look for life experience, for people skills, ambition and confidence. And there is so much more to life that worrying about material gain....I mean the reason we get these "good jobs" is to buy the big house, the newest car and all that goes with it. Think about what you value in life, if you're like me it's feeling happy and not about pleasing others or doing what your supposed to do. It's you life and your choice. My one piece of advise for you is this...to consider getting a pass degree. This may stand to you later in life if you want to do a postgraduate course to lead you into another field. For example you could get a pass degree, then go on to do a post grad in teaching, maybe go travelling abroad and teach. It's a tough economy at the moment so yes it will probably be hard to find a job regardless if you leave or not, but don't be so hard on yourself, if you think you can get a pass degree there are a lot of people who could not even achieve that. I think you need to have some fun...maybe take a year out and go travelling or something like that. you could always defer your final year, get a part time job and enjoy your life for a change? your life is what you make it, yes there is a lot of badness in the world but if we all focused on that we would all be depressed!! You can't change the world but you can change your own world, the way you live and how you relate to others. That is what you will get happiness from. Good luck