no happy new year text

LegacyUser

My ex came up spent xmas day with me and kids, even though it nearly killed me, as I still love him. He wont talk about us but gives mixed signals at times, I tried to talk to him but he wont open up.

He is angry with me that I didnt allow him to come and go over the past year to see the kids, (he took me to court so I got him to stick to the court ordered access) He tends to hang around on bringing children back from access, this upsets me but I grin and bear it.

Last night every beep of the phone I hoped it would be him to wish us a happy new year, but no text/message, Im so sad today and wish there was a magic button to turn off the pain.

beauty101

Not to sound harsh but if you wouldn't let him see the kids do you really expect him to have any sort of friendship with you and "open up to you"?
I'd say he's extremely hurt and confused about your relationship. Maybe give it some time, try to re-build some sort of friendship and trust.

Did you send him a text wishing him a happy new year?

Another way of looking at it is just because it was New Years Eve, at the end of the day it's just any old ordinary day and it doesn't make any difference-that would be my personal view on New Years anyway. I wouldn't take it to heart.

You still always will have that bond that you have children together and that will never go away

LegacyUser

It is him that upset and treated me really badly so thats why I didnt text him but have told him how I feel, He wont confirm or deny he feels the same way.

I did let him see the kids, I let him spend the whole of xmas day with us. I just made him stuck to the court order as understandably I couldnt have him coming as going as he pleased which he had a habit of doing.

kenbrady

upsettoday wrote: »

but have told him how I feel, He wont confirm or deny he feels the same way.

He's your ex, that's confirmation enough he doesn't feel the same way.

LegacyUser

kenbrady wrote: »

He's your ex, that's confirmation enough he doesn't feel the same way.

Why wont he just come out with it then? he knows im am lingering wondering what is happening with him,

If he opened up I could move on easier or even if he cud say sorry for what he has put me tru instead of twisting everything around and trying to blame me

It also seems to me that just when I do make the start to move on, he then gives the mixes signals setting me back each and every time

kenbrady

upsettoday wrote: »

Why wont he just come out with it then? he knows im am lingering wondering what is happening with him,

He could be:
- messing with you for fun
- enjoying the attention
- taking advantage to get you to do what he wants

Are you sure he is giving you mixed signals, it could be just how you are reading it.
He's your ex, you have broken up, you need to move on, don't waste your life waiting for him.

LegacyUser

Thanks Kenbrady

I do appreciate your replies and the reasons you have mentioned have been running riot in my head for weeks now so its good to see them in writing. I dont know which is the correct answer though.

The mixed messages seem to appear when im the one distancing myself.

I am guilty however of giving my own mixed messages as if he appeared at the door, I wouldnt let him in etc (he really hurt me) I did this out of hurt/anger with him which is pretty understandably after what he did on me & kids

I realised this when a a friend pointed it out to me.

Someone else that knows both him and me on a professional level reckons he does have feelings but sure their is nothing more I can do if he does not open up or make some effort and im finding it very difficult at the moment